Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınız doğal ve anlaşılır, ancak bazı dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlar var. "I have to singing" yerine "I have to sing" demelisiniz. Ayrıca, "rather than this singing" ifadesi yerine "rather than singing" daha doğru olur. Cümlenizi daha akıcı yapmak için bağlaçları kullanabilirsiniz.

例: No, I don't really enjoy singing because I'm not confident about my singing abilities. Therefore, I prefer listening to music rather than singing. I feel nervous especially when I have to sing in front of other people.

提案: Cümleniz biraz karışık ve bazı dilbilgisi hataları içeriyor. "Feeling in anxiety" yerine "feeling anxious" demelisiniz. Ayrıca, cümlelerinizi daha kısa ve net yaparak anlamı güçlendirebilirsiniz. Bağlaçları kullanarak cümleler arasında bağlantı kurmalısınız.

例: No, I haven't learned how to sing because I feel anxious in front of people. However, I took guitar and cello lessons in high school. Actually, I was more interested in sports and preferred listening to music rather than singing.

提案: Cümlenizde bazı dilbilgisi ve ifade hataları var. "I don't have any initial talent about the singing" yerine "I don't have any natural talent for singing" demelisiniz. "So singing for him, feel me" ifadesi anlam açısından belirsiz. Daha açık ve akıcı cümleler kurmalısınız.

例: As I mentioned, I'm not confident in my singing abilities and don't have a natural talent for singing. However, if I did, I would probably sing a song for my grandfather. Unfortunately, I never met him because he passed away before I was born.

提案: Cümleniz genel olarak iyi, ancak bazı ifadeler daha doğal hale getirilebilir. "Creates a love to connect strangers from the other people" ifadesi yerine "creates a bond between strangers" demek daha doğru olur. Ayrıca, "singing spread their immortal" ifadesi anlam açısından yanlış ve düzeltilmeli.

例: Yes, I believe music can bring happiness to people. It helps them express their feelings and feel more confident. Many singers say that performing music creates a bond between strangers and memorable experiences. In this way, singing spreads joy and connects people.

× I feel nervous when I have to singing, especially in front of the other people.

✓ I feel nervous when I have to sing, especially in front of other people.

The verb 'have to' should be followed by the base form of the verb, not the '-ing' form. Therefore, 'have to singing' is incorrect; it should be 'have to sing'. Also, 'the other people' is better as 'other people' here.

× No, I haven't learned how to sing a song because of feeling in anxiety in front of the people.

✓ No, I haven't learned how to sing a song because I feel anxious in front of people.

The phrase 'because of feeling in anxiety' is awkward and incorrect. It should be 'because I feel anxious'. Also, 'in front of the people' should be 'in front of people' for natural usage.

× I took some lessons about playing the guitar and the cello when I was at the high school, but actually I was interested in doing sports because of feeling anxious when I sing a song, I have preferred listening to music rather than.

✓ I took some lessons in playing the guitar and the cello when I was in high school, but actually I was interested in doing sports because I felt anxious when I sang. I have preferred listening to music instead.

The preposition 'about' is incorrect with 'lessons'; it should be 'lessons in'. Also, 'at the high school' should be 'in high school'. The phrase 'because of feeling anxious when I sing a song' is awkward; it should be 'because I felt anxious when I sang'. The last part is incomplete and corrected to 'I have preferred listening to music instead.'

× I don't have any initial talent about the singing, but if I had a talent about singing, I would probably sing a song for my grandfather.

✓ I don't have any initial talent for singing, but if I had a talent for singing, I would probably sing a song for my grandfather.

The preposition 'about' is incorrect here; the correct preposition is 'for' when talking about talent related to an activity.

× Unfortunately, I have never met him before because he passed away when before I was born.

✓ Unfortunately, I never met him because he passed away before I was born.

The phrase 'when before I was born' is redundant and incorrect. 'Before I was born' alone is sufficient and correct. Also, 'have never met' is better as 'never met' since the event is in the past.

× So singing for him, feel me.

✓ So singing for him moves me.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. The corrected sentence expresses the intended meaning clearly and grammatically.

× Many singers say that performing music creates a love to connect strangers from the other people and memorable experience.

✓ Many singers say that performing music creates a love that connects strangers and memorable experiences.

The phrase 'a love to connect strangers from the other people' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'a love that connects strangers'. Also, 'and memorable experience' should be plural 'experiences' to match the context.

× In this way, singing spread their immortal.

✓ In this way, singing spreads its immortality.

The pronoun 'their' is incorrect because 'singing' is singular and should be referred to as 'its'. Also, 'immortal' is an adjective; the noun form 'immortality' is needed here.