Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve pronunciation and word choice by using the correct word 'singing' instead of 'seeing'. Also, make the answer more concise and natural by avoiding repetition and redundancy. For example, start with a clear topic sentence and then provide a reason with linking words.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it cheers me up when I feel sad and helps me feel happier.

提案: Clarify your answer by using more precise vocabulary and sentence structure. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and explain your experience more clearly. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Actually, I haven't formally learned how to sing. I once tried to find a teacher, but I found it difficult to understand the techniques, so I gave up.

提案: Use correct verb tenses and vocabulary, such as 'singing' instead of 'seeing'. Make your answer more structured by starting with a topic sentence and then providing specific details with linking words.

例: I want to sing for my family, especially my son. For example, on his second birthday, I sang 'Happy Birthday' to him, and it made him very happy, which I really enjoyed.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'umm' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific examples. Also, use correct comparative forms like 'better' instead of 'more better'.

例: Of course, I believe singing can bring happiness. For instance, when driving for several hours, singing along to music can make the journey more enjoyable and help you feel less lonely.

× I do like seeing because when I feel upset I feel sad and seeing can cheer me up and I can feel happier so I like it.

✓ I do like singing because when I feel upset I feel sad and singing can cheer me up and I can feel happier so I like it.

The word 'seeing' is incorrect here; the correct gerund form related to the activity is 'singing'. 'Seeing' means to perceive with the eyes, which does not fit the context. Use 'singing' to refer to the act of producing musical sounds with the voice.

× Actually, no. I've tried it before and I find some uh teacher to teach me, but I think it's very hard to know more details about the uh the way you think, so I give it up.

✓ Actually, no. I've tried it before and I found some uh teacher to teach me, but I think it's very hard to know more details about the uh the way you think, so I gave it up.

The verbs 'find' and 'give' should be in the past tense 'found' and 'gave' to match the past context indicated by 'I've tried it before'. This maintains tense consistency in the sentence.

× Oh I want to sing for my family like my son. He was just two years old and when his birthday I singing Happy Birthday to him. He's very happy for this so I really enjoy seeing.

✓ Oh I want to sing for my family like my son. He was just two years old and on his birthday I sang Happy Birthday to him. He's very happy about this so I really enjoy singing.

The phrase 'I singing' is incorrect; it should be 'I sang' to indicate past action. Also, 'when his birthday' should be 'on his birthday' to use the correct preposition. Finally, 'enjoy seeing' should be 'enjoy singing' to correctly refer to the activity.

× He was just two years old and when his birthday I singing Happy Birthday to him.

✓ He was just two years old and on his birthday I sang Happy Birthday to him.

The preposition 'when' is incorrect here; the correct preposition to indicate a specific day is 'on'. Also, the verb form 'singing' should be corrected to 'sang' to match past tense.

× ...you will feel more better and not alone, you will enjoy it.

✓ ...you will feel better and not alone, you will enjoy it.

The phrase 'more better' is incorrect because 'better' is already a comparative adjective and does not need 'more'. Using both together is redundant and grammatically wrong.