Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise and natural by starting with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., ‘feel’ used several times). Vary vocabulary (use ‘relieved’ or ‘calmed’ instead of repeating ‘feel’).

例: Yes — I really enjoy singing because it helps me express my emotions. For example, when I’m stressed or upset, singing calms me and lifts my mood, so I often sing to relax.

提案: Be careful with sensitive cultural statements—keep them brief and neutral. Structure the answer: direct topic sentence, then one specific detail about how you learn. Use linking words and correct grammar (e.g., ‘sometimes’, ‘by repeating lyrics’). Limit to 2–3 sentences to avoid rambling.

例: No, I haven’t had formal singing lessons because of family traditions. However, I teach myself online by watching YouTube and Instagram tutorials and practicing by repeating the lyrics until I get them right.

提案: Open with a clear, natural topic sentence and avoid filler words like ‘uh’. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (e.g., ‘so’, ‘because’). Correct repetition and awkward phrasing (‘sing sung’, ‘the the’). Be concise and specific about the song or emotion you want to evoke.

例: I would love to sing at my sister’s wedding to surprise her with her favourite song. I’m teaching myself the song so she’ll see how much I care, and I hope my performance will make her emotional.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., ‘Yes, I do’). Avoid typos (‘thinking’ should be ‘singing’) and be specific with examples and linking words (‘for instance’, ‘because’). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid vague time frames like ‘maybe an hour’.

例: Yes, I do think singing brings happiness because it lets people express emotions and lifts their mood. For instance, when I feel down I listen to music or sing along, and it usually helps me feel calmer and more positive.

× I feel like while singing I can express my feelings.

✓ I feel that while singing I can express my feelings.

Use 'feel that' rather than 'feel like' when introducing a clause; 'feel like' is followed by a noun or -ing phrase meaning 'want'. Here a clause ('while singing I can express...') requires 'that' or no conjunction. Use 'that' for clarity.

× So if I am sad or happy, singing makes me feel stress free and relaxed.

✓ So if I am sad or happy, singing makes me feel stress-free and relaxed.

Use the hyphenated adjective 'stress-free' before a noun or after a linking verb. Otherwise sentence is fine.

× Have you ever learnt how to sing?

✓ Have you ever learned how to sing?

Both 'learnt' and 'learned' are acceptable; in American English 'learned' is more common. Choose one variety consistently. The rest of the transcript uses American forms (e.g., 'learned'), so change for consistency.

× No, I have never learned how to sing as I am from a Muslim conservative family where it's not allowed to learn how to sing or dance.

✓ No, I have never learned how to sing because I am from a conservative Muslim family where it is not allowed to learn singing or dancing.

Replace 'as' with 'because' for clearer causal connection. Use 'conservative Muslim family' for natural adjective order. Use 'it is' instead of contraction for formality, and use gerunds 'singing' and 'dancing' after 'learn'.

× But I still learn sometime from many social media accounts like YouTube's Facebook, Instagram and many more places and I really like to repeat after every lyrics and sometimes it's got stuck in my head.

✓ But I still learn sometimes from many social media accounts like YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram, and I really like to sing along to each lyric; sometimes a song gets stuck in my head.

Use 'sometimes' (adverb) instead of 'sometime'. Remove possessive in 'YouTube's'. Use 'sing along to each lyric' or 'repeat after the lyrics' rather than 'repeat after every lyrics' (plural mismatch). 'It's got stuck' is incorrect; use 'a song gets stuck' or 'it gets stuck' for present habitual. Correct punctuation and conjunctions.

× I always dreamt of uh singing a song in my sister's wedding where I can surprise her with her favorite song sing sung by me and I'm really trying to learn it by myself so that she will be surprised and be emotional and she can see how much I love her and respect her to learn the the music she likes.

✓ I always dreamt of singing a song at my sister's wedding so I could surprise her with her favorite song sung by me, and I am really trying to learn it by myself so that she will be surprised and moved and can see how much I love and respect her for learning the music she likes.

Use 'dreamt' (past) with a past-inclined modal 'could' for consistency ('where I can' -> 'so I could'). Use 'at my sister's wedding' not 'in'. Remove filler 'uh'. Use 'song sung by me' or better 'sung by me'. Replace 'be emotional' with 'be moved'. Avoid repeated 'the the'. Use 'for learning' to indicate reason. Improve sentence cohesion and tense consistency.

× In my opinion, thinking can bring happiness to people as by singing someone can express their feelings either they are sad, happy, romantic etc.

✓ In my opinion, singing can bring happiness to people because it allows someone to express their feelings, whether they are sad, happy, or romantic.

Original begins with 'thinking' which seems incorrect in context; likely meant 'singing'. Use 'because' for cause. Place commas and conjunctions correctly and avoid 'etc.' in formal responses; list examples clearly.

× It also helps people to feel stress free for at least few minutes or maybe an hour.

✓ It also helps people feel stress-free for at least a few minutes or maybe an hour.

Add article 'a' before 'few minutes'. Use hyphenated 'stress-free' and prefer 'help someone do' without 'to' after 'helps' for natural phrasing.

× I personally like hearing music when I am feeling sad or I'm not feeling good and it really helps me.

✓ I personally like listening to music when I am feeling sad or unwell, and it really helps me.

Use 'listening to music' instead of 'hearing music' for intentional action. Use 'unwell' or 'not feeling well' instead of 'not feeling good'. Add comma before conjunction joining independent clauses.