Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct verb forms and use concise supporting detail. Avoid repetition and unclear words (e.g., "sinking" should be "singing"). Add a linking phrase to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it refreshes my mind. For example, when I sing familiar songs I feel relaxed and happier, so I often sing to relieve stress.

提案: Give a direct answer first (Yes/No) and then provide a clear reason with specific details. Use correct tense and avoid unclear phrases like "addicted this." Use linking words such as "however" or "because" to structure your response.

例: No, I have never taken formal singing lessons. When I was young I used to listen to music and sing with friends for fun, so I never felt the need for classes.

提案: Answer directly and explain briefly why. Correct awkward phrasing ("I like thinking"); be specific about situations when you sing and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I prefer not to sing for other people; singing is a private hobby for me. For instance, I usually sing alone at home to relax rather than performing in front of others.

提案: Give a confident, direct opinion and support it with clear reasons and examples. Fix grammar ("bring to" -> "bring"), avoid repetition, and use linking phrases like "for example" or "because".

例: Yes, I believe singing can make people happier because it reduces stress and improves mood. For example, singing upbeat songs at gatherings can lift everyone's spirits and create a positive atmosphere.

× Yes, I like singing because it's very refresh my mind.

✓ Yes, I like singing because it is very refreshing for my mind.

The adjective 'refresh' is incorrect; the correct adjective form is 'refreshing' (present participle used as adjective). Also need the preposition 'for' to indicate effect on 'my mind.' Use 'it is' contracted to 'it's' if desired, but ensure 'refreshing' and 'for' are present.

× Also I'm happy if I sinking or listening so it's very refreshing.

✓ Also I am happy when I sing or listen, so it is very refreshing.

The conjunction 'if' is incorrect here; 'when' suits habitual actions. 'Sinking' is a misspelling/wrong form; use base verb 'sing' after 'when' for habitual meaning. Use 'listen' (base verb) rather than 'listening' in this structure. Ensure clause separation with a comma before 'so.'

× Uh, actually when I was a young girl in this time, I was thinking or listening with my friends.

✓ Uh, actually when I was a young girl, I used to sing and listen with my friends.

The phrase 'in this time' is awkward; use 'when I was a young girl.' 'I was thinking or listening' is incorrect for past habitual actions; use 'used to' plus base verbs 'sing' and 'listen' to indicate habitual past. 'Thinking' is not the intended verb here.

× So I have never learned singing because I'm already addicted this so.

✓ So I have never learned to sing because I was already addicted to it.

After 'learned' we need the infinitive 'to sing' rather than a gerund. 'Already addicted this so' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'addicted to it.' Use past or present perfect consistently: 'have never learned' with 'because I was already addicted to it' explains past reason.

× Actually I don't want to sing for anyone, it's totally my personal choice.

✓ Actually I do not want to sing for anyone; it is completely my personal choice.

Contractions are acceptable but ensure formal 'do not' if preferred. 'Totally my personal choice' is acceptable colloquially but 'completely my personal choice' is clearer. Use a semicolon or period instead of comma splice between independent clauses.

× Also, I like thinking that's why I always sing a song or nothing else.

✓ Also, I like thinking, which is why I always sing songs and nothing else.

The clause connection is incorrect; use 'which is why' to link cause and effect. 'Sing a song or nothing else' is awkward; 'sing songs and nothing else' clarifies meaning. 'Thinking' may still be odd but left as original concept; consider 'reflecting' if intended.

× Maybe I'm not sure but but I think it's bring to happiness to people because thinking is a refreshing mind.

✓ Maybe I'm not sure, but I think it brings happiness to people because thinking refreshes the mind.

Use simple present 'brings' for general truth (third person singular). Remove repeated 'but'. 'Bring to happiness' is incorrect; use 'brings happiness to people.' 'Thinking is a refreshing mind' is ungrammatical; use 'thinking refreshes the mind' or 'it refreshes the mind.'

× Also syncing many types of songs are available in our world.

✓ Also, many types of songs are available in our world.

'Syncing' is incorrect here; likely intended 'singing' or simply omit. If meaning is 'singing many types of songs is possible,' rephrase: 'Also, people can sing many types of songs.' Also ensure subject-verb agreement: 'many types of songs are available.'

× It's totally.

✓ Yes, it totally does.

'It's totally.' is incomplete and vague. Provide a complete response like 'Yes, it totally does' to affirm the previous statement. Ensure sentences have both subject and verb.