Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more fluent, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and correct small grammar errors (e.g., "the one of my hobbies" → "one of my hobbies").

例: Yes, I enjoy singing; it’s one of my hobbies. For example, I often go to karaoke with friends and sing late into the evening, which helps me relax and feel free.

提案: Provide a clearer structure: state directly whether you learned formally, then give concise supporting detail about how you improved, using correct verb tenses and fewer repetitions. Use linking words like "however" or "instead".

例: No, I haven’t taken formal singing lessons. Instead, I taught myself by listening to songs and imitating vocal techniques, which helped me improve gradually.

提案: Answer directly and use present or future tense consistently. Be specific about when or why you would sing for them and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" to explain motivation.

例: I would like to sing at a friend’s wedding in the future because it would be a meaningful gift for their special day and show how much I care.

提案: Give a clear, concise opinion followed by one or two specific reasons. Correct grammar (e.g., avoid "he is the singing") and use linking words such as "because" and "for example."

例: Yes, I believe singing can make people happier because it allows them to express emotions. For example, performing a song successfully can boost someone’s confidence and lift their mood.

× I do like singing, it is the one of my hobbies.

✓ I do like singing; it is one of my hobbies.

Use of the definite article 'the' before 'one of my hobbies' is incorrect. 'One of my hobbies' correctly indicates that singing is one among several hobbies. Also, the original comma splices two independent clauses; replace comma with a semicolon or period. Suggestion: Remove 'the' and separate clauses properly (period or semicolon).

× I usually go out with my friends and go to the karaoke and sing all night and it makes me relaxed and umm. Free.

✓ I usually go out with my friends, go to karaoke, and sing all night; it makes me feel relaxed and free.

Use 'go to karaoke' without 'the' when referring to the activity/place generally. 'Makes me relaxed' is acceptable but more natural as 'makes me feel relaxed.' Also the sentence had run-on structure and redundant conjunctions; use commas and semicolon to join ideas clearly. Suggestion: Remove extra 'the', use 'feel relaxed', and restructure to avoid run-on sentences.

× Actually I didn't learn the singing or attended any classes, I just learn by listening to them and like copying the singing mechanics mechanisms and I I think I can.

✓ Actually I didn't learn to sing or attend any classes; I just learned by listening to others and copying singing techniques, and I think I can.

The sentence mixes past and present incorrectly. After 'didn't' the base form 'learn' is needed ('didn't learn to sing'). 'Attended' should be base form 'attend' after 'didn't'. 'Learn' describing past experience should be 'learned'. 'Singing mechanics mechanisms' is redundant and awkward; 'singing techniques' is clearer. Also remove duplicate 'I'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past events and correct verb forms after auxiliary 'did'. Replace redundant phrasing with concise noun 'techniques'.

× I just learn by listening to them and like copying the singing mechanics mechanisms and I I think I can.

✓ I just learned by listening to them and copying their singing techniques, and I think I can.

The speaker refers to a past process, so 'learn' should be past 'learned'. Also 'them' is vague; 'their' clarifies possession. Remove duplicate words and redundancy. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent (past) when describing prior learning and use possessive pronouns for clarity.

× I wanted to sing in my friend's wedding sometime maybe and and there will be a special day for my friend and the gift will be the singing from me and.

✓ I would like to sing at my friend's wedding sometime; it will be a special day for my friend, and my singing would be the gift.

The original mixes past 'wanted' with future 'there will be' awkwardly. For a future intent, use 'would like to' or 'want to sing at my friend's wedding sometime.' Use preposition 'at' for events like weddings (not 'in'). 'The singing from me' is unnatural; 'my singing' is natural. Remove repeated 'and' and trailing conjunction. Suggestion: Use 'would like to' for polite future intention, 'sing at a wedding', and restructure to avoid repetition.

× I think he is the singing can make them happy and also confident to them to themselves as the singing is not that easy but the expressing your emotions through the singing makes them happy and more confident about themselves.

✓ I think singing can make people happy and more confident, because singing is not that easy, but expressing your emotions through singing helps them feel happier and more confident about themselves.

Original contains incorrect pronoun 'he is the' and inconsistent pronouns 'them' and 'themselves'. Replace with general subject 'singing' or 'it' and use consistent plural references 'people' and 'them'/'themselves'. 'Confident to them' is incorrect; use 'confident' or 'confident about themselves'. Also simplify and clarify the causal relationship. Suggestion: Use clear subjects ('singing' or 'it'), consistent pronouns, and concise phrasing like 'makes people happy and more confident'.