Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations ("uh"), and give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Correct minor grammar (use "learned" or "have had lessons"; "change my voice" -> "improve my voice").

例: Yes, I love singing because I hope to become a singer or rapper in the future. For example, I practise every day to improve my vocal tone and build confidence, and I also study different styles to develop my own signature sound.

提案: Use correct verb forms and clearer structure. Begin with a direct answer, then add specific details with linking words. Avoid repetition and fix phrasing ("sing how songs" -> "sing songs").

例: No, I have never had formal singing lessons, but I practise singing songs every day. As a result, I work on pitch and breathing, and I experiment with different genres to develop my own style.

提案: Give a clear, grammatical response and specific reasons. Start with a direct statement and then explain why using linking words. Remove unclear phrases ("when words at mellow ways").

例: I would like to sing for my parents and friends because they are very supportive. For instance, my parents always encourage me and my friends give honest feedback, which helps me improve and feel more confident on stage.

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Use a direct opinion sentence, avoid vague metaphors like "the summit of each person," and give a concrete reason or example with linking words. Remove fillers like "uh."

例: Yes, I believe singing can make people happy because it lifts the mood and reduces stress. For example, I feel cheerful after singing my favourite song, and I have seen friends smile and relax when we sing together.

× I really love singing because in the future I want to be a singer or a rapper.

✓ I really love singing because in the future I want to be a singer or a rapper.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses future intention with 'want to be'. This suggestion is included to confirm tense is appropriate.

× Besides, I'm trying to sing every day to change my voice because, uh, my voice is not really good.

✓ Besides, I'm trying to sing every day to improve my voice because my voice is not very good.

Replace 'change my voice' with 'improve my voice' for natural collocation and 'not really good' with 'not very good' for standard adjective use. 'Trying to' with present continuous is appropriate to describe a current ongoing effort.

× I have never learnt how to sing, I only try to sing how songs every day because I think it's a a way to practice my voice and my and create my style in future.

✓ I have never learnt how to sing; I only try to sing songs every day because I think it's a way to practice my voice and create my style in the future.

Use a semicolon or full stop to separate independent clauses. Remove extra 'how' which is incorrect. Delete duplicate 'a'. Use 'in the future' rather than 'in future' for clarity. The present perfect 'have never learnt' is correct for life experience; 'try to sing' (present simple) is acceptable for habitual action.

× I want to sing for my friends, for my parents who always encourage me when words at mellow ways.

✓ I want to sing for my friends and my parents, who always encourage me in difficult times.

The original 'when words at mellow ways' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with 'in difficult times' to convey support. Use a comma before the relative clause and connect the two objects with 'and'.

× Besides, they also cheer me up when I want to sing or sing so bad.

✓ Besides, they also cheer me up when I want to sing or when I sing badly.

Use 'when I sing badly' instead of 'sing so bad' because 'badly' is the correct adverb modifying the verb 'sing'. Adding 'when' before the second clause improves parallelism.

× I think singing is the summit of each person because it can bring the good mood, uh, cheer me up in the way I can image.

✓ I think singing is the pinnacle for each person because it can bring good mood and cheer me up in ways I can imagine.

Replace 'summit' with more natural 'pinnacle' and 'each person' could be 'for everyone' but kept as 'each person'. Remove 'the' before 'good mood'. Use 'in ways I can imagine' instead of 'in the way I can image' and use 'imagine' (correct verb) instead of 'image' (noun).