Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は内容を伝えようとしているが、文法・単語の誤りや冗長な発話（多くの「uh」）があり、論理的な構成も不十分です。まずは簡潔なトピック文を作り（Do you like singing? に対して“Yes, I do.”など）、その後で理由と具体例を1〜2文で添える練習をしてください。接続詞（because, so, when）を使って文をつなぎ、曖昧な表現や不要な繰り返しを減らしましょう。発音や流暢さの改善のために短いフレーズを繰り返し練習し、フィラー（uh, um）を減らす意識を持ってください。

例: Yes, I do. I loved singing when I was young, especially Japanese rock and pop. Even now in my 40s, I often listen to these songs while doing household chores because they cheer me up.

提案: 回答は学習経験について触れていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な語順が目立ちます。まず直接的なトピック文（Yes, I have. または No, I haven't.）で始め、その後に時期や場所、具体的に何を学んだかを1〜2文で述べてください。過去形の一貫性を保ち、曖昧な語句（running expenses, Dead Crossなど意味不明な表現）を避け、明確な語を使いましょう。

例: Yes, I have. I took singing and music classes when I was in elementary and junior high school in Japan. In those lessons, I learned breathing techniques and how to project my voice.

提案: 回答は意図は伝わりますが、流暢さと文法の面で改善が必要です。冒頭で明確なトピック文（I usually sing for myself.）を述べ、その後に習慣や条件（when I'm alone, when I find a new favorite song）を接続詞で繋げて説明してください。時制の一致（現在習慣は現在形）と単数・複数形の誤り（every day）を直しましょう。また、フィラーを減らし、自然な語彙（humming, practicing）を使って短くまとめる練習をしてください。

例: I usually sing for myself because I enjoy singing. I hum every day, and when I discover a new favorite song, I practice it by singing along at home.

提案: 意見は明確ですが、文法や語彙の誤用（are independent of a cultures, present activity, without any resurrection）で意味が不明瞭になっています。まず短い意見文（Yes, I think so.）で始め、理由を1〜2文で補足してください。‘popular all over the world’や‘universal’といった適切な語彙を使い、具体例（singing at celebrations, karaoke）を挙げると説得力が増します。冗長な表現や難しい言い換えは避け、明確な表現を心がけてください。

例: Yes, I think so. Singing is universal and people all over the world enjoy it. For example, many people sing at celebrations or in karaoke, which can lift their mood and bring joy.

× I run singing when I was young, my favorite genre was Japanese rock and *** Japanese pop.

✓ I used to sing when I was young; my favorite genres were Japanese rock and Japanese pop.

The original mixes present tense 'I run singing' with past time 'when I was young'. Use 'used to' for past habitual actions and pluralize 'genre' to 'genres' because two kinds are listed. Also connect clauses with a semicolon or conjunction for clarity.

× Even in AFO in my 40s, I sometimes think, uh, these songs uh, in the on the daily basis, uh, like during uh, doing some house chores and so on.

✓ Even in my 40s, I sometimes think about these songs on a daily basis, for example while doing household chores.

The sentence has wrong word order and extra filler words. 'Think about' is correct collocation. Use 'on a daily basis' not 'in the on the daily basis'. 'Household chores' is the proper phrase. Keep tense present simple for habitual actions.

× My running expenses for singing are what was uh, when I was junior high school and elementary high school in Japan.

✓ My earliest experiences with singing were when I was in elementary and junior high school in Japan.

The phrase 'running expenses for singing' is incorrect and unclear. Use 'earliest experiences with singing' to convey past events. Include 'in' before school levels and keep past tense 'were' to match 'when I was...'. 'Elementary and junior high school' order is more natural.

× There are several class uh, which is related to singing and song and music.

✓ There are several classes which are related to singing, songs, and music.

Count noun 'class' should be plural 'classes' to match 'several'. Relative clause verb should be 'are' to agree with plural 'classes'. Use 'songs' plural and commas for list clarity.

× In Dead Cross, I learned how to make a large voice.

✓ In choir practice, I learned how to produce a powerful voice.

'Dead Cross' seems wrong or unclear; if it was a choir or class, use a clearer noun. 'Make a large voice' is unidiomatic; 'produce a powerful voice' is natural. Past tense 'learned' is correct; adjust noun phrases instead.

× Uh, typically I sing for myself. I, I just like a singing itself.

✓ Typically I sing for myself. I just like singing itself.

Remove extra article 'a' before 'singing' and duplicate 'I'. 'Singing' as a noun (gerund) does not need 'a'. Keep present simple for general preference.

× So I, uh, do humming, uh, every days.

✓ So I hum every day.

'Do humming' is unnatural; use the verb 'hum'. 'Every day' (two words) is correct; 'every days' is incorrect pluralization.

× And uh, if I find some, uh, favorite song which is recently released, then I practice the song by humming and singing when I was alone.

✓ If I find a favorite song that was recently released, I practice it by humming and singing when I am alone.

Tense consistency: use past 'was recently released' for a song released recently or present perfect 'has been released'. 'When I am alone' should be present tense if this is a habitual action. Use 'a favorite song' and 'practice it' to avoid repetition.

× I believe so, as singing is quite popular all over the world, are independent of a cultures and a region and so on.

✓ I believe so, as singing is quite popular all over the world and is independent of culture and region.

Remove incorrect 'are' and fix agreement: 'singing... is independent'. Use uncountable 'culture' and 'region' without articles for general statements. Also simplify structure for clarity.

× So I think singing is inherently very present activity, uh, which many people love, uh, without any resurrection.

✓ So I think singing is inherently a very pleasant activity that many people love, without any restriction.

'Present' is incorrect here; likely 'pleasant' was intended. Add article 'a' before 'very pleasant activity'. 'Without any resurrection' is incorrect—probably 'restriction' fits meaning. Use 'that' to introduce the relative clause.