Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and reason), avoid repetition and filler words, and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences with specific details. Use linking words (because, so, when) to make your answer coherent.

例: No, I don't like singing now because I rarely practice it. However, I enjoyed singing lessons when I was in primary school because they were relaxing and helped me feel confident in front of classmates.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence about past learning, then add a specific detail about when and what you learned. Remove fillers and correct grammar (learned, grown up). Keep answers within 3 sentences.

例: Yes, I learned singing basics in primary school, mainly simple melodies and breathing exercises. Since then I haven't taken formal lessons and I only sing casually, not professionally.

提案: Clarify your intention and avoid contradictions: if you say you don't want to sing, explain why clearly or state who you would sing for. Use one coherent idea per answer and avoid unclear fillers (UMM).

例: I would like to sing for my girlfriend to show my gratitude because she supported me during a difficult time. Singing would be a personal way to express my feelings and appreciation.

提案: Begin with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and an example. Avoid vague phrases and repeated words. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" to organize your answer.

例: Yes, I think singing can make people happy because music often evokes emotions and creates a shared experience. For example, concerts by famous singers can bring thousands of fans together and create a joyful atmosphere.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific example. Reduce hesitations and correct minor mistakes (use "he" for male singers). Keep it to two to three sentences and include why you like that singer or genre.

例: Yes, I enjoy listening to professional singers, especially Cantonese pop. For example, I like Eason Chan because his voice is expressive and his songs often have meaningful lyrics.

提案: Use correct verb forms (taken, took) and structure: state whether you have taken classes, then give a brief supporting detail about when and what type. Avoid negative self-evaluations unless brief and relevant.

例: I have never taken professional singing lessons since high school, but I did attend amateur classes in primary school. Although I'm not a trained singer, I still enjoy singing for friends and family occasionally.

× I do not like singing, but I used to like singing when I was a primary school student and my favorite lesson at the time was singing lesson lessons actually.

✓ I do not like singing, but I used to like it when I was a primary school student and my favorite lesson at the time was the singing lesson.

Error type: Article errors (ID 22). The phrase 'singing lesson lessons' is redundant and missing the definite article 'the' before 'singing lesson' when referring to a specific class. Use 'the singing lesson' or simply 'singing' to be clear. Remove duplicate word 'lessons'.

× And I believe that, uh, during my, uh, primary school, uh, it was a very relaxing lessons that I took.

✓ And I believe that during primary school it was a very relaxing lesson that I took.

Error type: Present tense/Article errors (IDs 6 and 22). 'It was a very relaxing lessons' mixes singular 'it' with plural 'lessons'. Use singular 'lesson' to agree with 'it', or change 'it' to 'they' and keep 'lessons'. Also remove filler 'my' and extra commas for clarity.

× I did learn how to sing and dream when I was younger in during primary school, but I haven't learned singing when I grow up.

✓ I did learn how to sing and to dream when I was younger during primary school, but I haven't learned to sing since I grew up.

Error type: Past tense issue (ID 5). 'in during' is redundant; use 'during'. 'haven't learned singing when I grow up' mixes tenses and uses incorrect verb form. Use 'haven't learned to sing' and 'since I grew up' (or 'since I grew up' could be 'as I grew up'). Also add infinitive 'to dream' parallel to 'to sing'.

× I'm just know how to sing appropriately uh with the song and I don't sing professionally.

✓ I just know how to sing appropriately with a song and I don't sing professionally.

Error type: Incorrect use of pronouns (ID 12) and sentence structure. 'I'm just know' is ungrammatical; use 'I just know'. 'with the song' is ambiguous; 'with a song' or 'to a song' is clearer. Adjust word order to 'I just know how to sing appropriately'.

× I don't want to sing for my girlfriend because I want to show her the gratitude and the appreciation on how she took care of me during my hardest time of my life.

✓ I want to sing for my girlfriend because I want to show her my gratitude and appreciation for how she took care of me during the hardest time of my life.

Error type: Incorrect use of pronouns/articles (ID 12 and 22). The original 'I don't want to sing for my girlfriend because I want to show...' contradicts intent; likely 'do' should be 'do want'. Also 'the gratitude and the appreciation on how' is awkward; use 'my gratitude and appreciation for how'. Remove redundant 'my' before 'life' and 'hardest' already implies 'of my life' optional.

× And I want to compliment her with my UMM, with my voice, that I want her for the rest of my life.

✓ And I want to compliment her with my voice because I want her to be with me for the rest of my life.

Error type: Sentence structure errors (ID 26). 'compliment her with my UMM, with my voice, that I want her for the rest of my life' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace 'UMM' filler with 'voice' and rephrase to express intention: 'I want her to be with me for the rest of my life.' Use 'because' to connect purpose.

× I do think beautiful thing can bring happiness to a lot of people.

✓ I do think beautiful things can bring happiness to a lot of people.

Error type: Subject-verb agreement (ID 27) and singular/plural (ID 1). 'beautiful thing' should be plural 'beautiful things' when referring generally. This matches 'can bring' which is correct.

× There are concerns from professional singers that brings lot thousands of people into joyful, umm, umm, joyful, uh, sound.

✓ There are performances by professional singers that bring thousands of people joy.

Error type: Sentence structure errors (ID 26) and subject-verb agreement (ID 27). 'concerns' is wrong word choice; use 'performances' or 'performances by professional singers'. 'that brings lot thousands' has agreement and word order errors; use 'that bring thousands of people joy'. Remove fillers.

× That's everyone, uh, adores and.

✓ That's what everyone adores.

Error type: Sentence structure errors (ID 26). The original is a fragment and ungrammatical. 'That's what everyone adores' completes the idea.

× I do like to listen, uh, like professionals, uh, singers sing especially I like to umm, listen to Cantonese pop music like, uh, Eason Chan, uh, she is one of the singers that I enjoy the most when it's come to Cantonese pop music.

✓ I do like to listen to professional singers. I especially like Cantonese pop music such as Eason Chan; he is one of the singers I enjoy most in Cantonese pop music.

Error type: Incorrect use of pronouns (ID 12) and sentence structure (ID 26). 'like professionals, uh, singers sing' is awkward; use 'listen to professional singers'. Eason Chan is male, so use 'he' not 'she'. 'when it's come to' should be 'when it comes to' or simpler 'in' or 'in Cantonese pop music'. Remove fillers.

× I have never took a professional since class after graduating from my high school, however I did took some amateurs in class during primary school and I know that my singing was not, uh, joyful to a lot of people, however I would still sing to my loved ones when I want to.

✓ I have never taken a professional singing class since graduating from high school; however, I did take some amateur classes during primary school, and I know that my singing was not enjoyable to many people. I would still sing to my loved ones when I want to.

Error type: Past tense issue (ID 5) and verb form (ID 9). Use past participle 'taken' after 'have', not 'took'. 'since class' is incorrect; use 'singing class' and 'since graduating'. 'did took' should be 'did take'. 'amateurs in class' should be 'amateur classes'. 'joyful to a lot of people' is awkward; use 'enjoyable to many people'.