List— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce filler words (uh, umm) and minor repetitions. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two short supporting reasons using linking words (for example, because/so). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., ’smartphone app’, ’check items’).

例: Yes — I always make a shopping list, and I usually use a smartphone app because it’s convenient to check and add items as I think of them. Also, a digital list is easy to edit and I don’t have to carry a pen and paper, so it feels more practical.

提案: Answer directly and avoid asking back. Begin with a clear yes/no and then give specific benefits with linking words (for example, because/so/therefore). Replace vague phrases with precise ones (e.g., ’prioritise tasks’, ’track deadlines’). Limit to 3 sentences.

例: Yes, I do, and it helps a lot because a written list lets me prioritise tasks and track deadlines. As a result, I can coordinate my daily schedule more efficiently and make sure important work gets done on time.

提案: Be more concise and use clearer cause-and-effect linking (for example, ’because’, ’so’). Replace awkward phrasing with natural expressions (e.g., ’find it time-consuming’, ’prefer to act immediately’). Provide one specific example or reason to support your view. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Some people don’t like making lists because they find it time-consuming and prefer to act immediately. For example, busy people may feel it’s quicker to tackle tasks on the spot rather than spend time planning.

提案: Give a clear opening sentence stating your preference, then give two concise reasons with linking words (for example, ’because’ and ’also’). Avoid repeating the same idea. Use precise vocabulary like ’portable’, ’synchronise’, or ’access anywhere’.

例: I prefer making lists on my smartphone because it’s portable and I can access or edit my list anytime. Also, digital lists often sync across devices, so I never worry about losing my notes.

× Yes. I do I make a list when I shop, especially use a smartphone to uh make a list because it is really convenient to uh re watch that uh recheck that and add it.

✓ Yes. I do. I make a list when I shop, and I especially use a smartphone to make a list because it is really convenient to rewatch, recheck, and add items.

Run-on and missing connectors cause tense and clarity problems. Use present simple consistently for habitual actions (I make, I use). Remove filler words and separate clauses with conjunctions or punctuation. Use verbs properly (rewatch, recheck) and include objects (add items).

× So if I use uh physical practical note, I need to bring uh pens as well, so it's really uncomfortable.

✓ So if I use a physical paper note, I need to bring a pen as well, so it's really inconvenient.

Number and article mismatch: 'note' with 'physical' needs an article and 'pens' should match singular 'a pen' if referring to one. Also 'practical' is unnecessary here; use 'paper note' or 'notebook'. Use 'inconvenient' instead of 'uncomfortable' for situations rather than physical comfort.

× Does it work? I like to make a list when I work because I it is visible, so I can umm, umm, I can manage my task and also, uh, coordinate that daily, uh, schedule.

✓ Yes, it does. I like to make a list when I work because it is visible, so I can manage my tasks and coordinate my daily schedule.

The original has disfluencies and an extra 'it'. Use a clear response to the question ('Yes, it does'). Use plural 'tasks' for general tasks and possessive 'my daily schedule'. Remove filler sounds and redundant phrases for grammatical clarity.

× So I think there's some people, uh, consider it is time consuming and more annoying to do it because it's sometimes requires some energy to do it as well.

✓ So I think some people consider it time-consuming and more annoying to do because it sometimes requires energy.

Incorrect use of 'there's' with plural 'people' and awkward pronoun 'it'. Use 'some people' directly. Use hyphenated adjective 'time-consuming' and correct verb agreement 'requires'. Remove redundant 'to do it' phrases.

× So I think some people, uh, prefer to immediate action.

✓ So I think some people prefer immediate action.

Infinitive form is incorrect: 'prefer to immediate' is ungrammatical. Use 'prefer' followed by a noun phrase 'immediate action' or 'prefer to act immediately'. Maintain present simple for habitual belief.

× So I think they don't like to make it.

✓ So I think they don't like to make lists.

Vague pronoun 'it' does not clearly refer to 'lists'. Use the plural noun 'lists' to match context and meaning.

× I prefer to make a list on my smartphone because it is more convenient to carry with me because, uh, if I use a paper, I need to bring a pen and a paper, uh, umm, at least at the smartphone.

✓ I prefer to make a list on my smartphone because it is more convenient to carry; if I use paper, I need to bring a pen and paper, but a smartphone has them all.

Use of articles is incorrect: 'use a paper' should be 'use paper' or 'use a piece of paper'. Avoid repetition 'a pen and a paper'—use 'pen and paper'. Clarify contrast: smartphones include necessary tools. Remove filler words and fix sentence flow.

× So I think, uh, it's more, uh, portable and more useful for me.

✓ So I think it's more portable and more useful for me.

Main issue is filler words; grammatically the sentence is fine. Remove unnecessary pauses and commas. Keep comparative structure parallel and concise.