List— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g. “risk” → “list”), and give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Keep it under five sentences and use correct verb forms.

例: Yes, I usually make a shopping list before I go out. For example, I write down food items and household supplies so I don’t buy things I don’t need. This helps me stick to my budget and save time while shopping.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence then two concise supporting details with correct grammar and linking words. Correct tense and phrasing (e.g. “I think about” not “I have to thinking”) and avoid redundant words. Mention specific tools or examples to support effectiveness.

例: Yes, I make a to-do list for work every morning. First I check my emails, then I write down tasks in order of priority so I know what to start with. This method helps me finish important tasks on time and reduces stress.

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary (use “list” not “risk”), give a clear opinion and two specific reasons linked with cohesive devices (e.g. “because,” “so,” “for example”). Avoid hesitations and vague phrases. Keep answer concise.

例: I think some people dislike making lists because they find it time-consuming. For example, writing and organizing tasks can take twenty to thirty minutes, and some people prefer to act spontaneously instead.

提案: Give a direct answer first (paper or phone), then two clear reasons with linking words and correct phrasing. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. “analogue” → “handwritten”) and avoid repetition. Limit to three sentences.

例: I prefer making lists on paper because I remember things better when I write by hand. Also, paper lists are quick to access and don’t depend on battery or apps, so they feel more reliable to me.

× Actually, I have, yes, because I don't, I don't want to waste my extra money because if I don't have any risk, I buy anything accidentally.

✓ Actually, I do, yes, because I don't want to waste extra money; if I am not careful, I might buy things accidentally.

The student mixes present perfect 'I have' with present simple and uses 'risk' incorrectly. Use present simple 'I do' for habitual actions. 'Have any risk' is incorrect; say 'am not careful'. Also use modal 'might' to express possibility and plural 'things'. Improve by using consistent present tense for habits and correct collocations ('be careful', 'buy things accidentally').

× So yeah, usually I make a risk before going to shopping, so.

✓ So yeah, usually I make a list before going shopping.

'Make a risk' is incorrect collocation; the intended word is 'list'. 'Going to shopping' is ungrammatical — use 'going shopping' without 'to'. Simplify and keep present simple for habitual action.

× And I try to buy just what I want, what I need.

✓ I try to buy only what I want and need.

Use 'only' instead of 'just' for clarity and combine parallel objects with 'and'. Maintain present simple for habitual behaviour.

× Yes, before going to work I have to thinking about what I have to do today and when I start working I just check up the e-mail and just make a list what I want, what I have to do and what I have to finish and when I'm done I checked under this.

✓ Yes, before going to work I have to think about what I need to do today, and when I start working I check my e-mail and make a list of what I want to do, what I need to do, and what I must finish; when I'm done I check it off.

'Have to thinking' mixes forms; use 'have to think' or 'I think'. 'Check up the e-mail' should be 'check my e-mail'. 'Make a list what' needs 'of' after 'list'. 'I checked under this' is incorrect — use 'check it off' to indicate completion. Keep present simple for routines and correct verb forms.

× So that way is the best way I never.

✓ That is the best way for me.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Simplify to a clear statement. 'I never' is incomplete; replace with 'for me' to express personal preference.

× Uh, in my opinion, because they don't want to make a risk.

✓ In my opinion, because they don't want to make a list.

Student uses 'make a risk' instead of 'make a list'. Correct the noun to 'list'. This fits the intended meaning.

× The reason is it's, uh, extra Cho choice.

✓ The reason is it is an extra choice.

'Extra Cho choice' is incoherent; likely meant 'an extra choice' or 'an unnecessary choice'. Use 'is' and correct noun phrase.

× It's not easy job because when I make a risk, when I drink the checking e-mail, it takes a lot of time, more than 30 minutes because I have to write down on the list.

✓ It's not an easy job because when I make a list and check my e-mail, it takes a lot of time, more than 30 minutes, because I have to write everything down on the list.

Multiple errors: missing article 'an easy job', 'make a risk' should be 'make a list', 'drink the checking e-mail' is nonsensical — use 'check my e-mail'. 'Write down on the list' needs 'everything' or 'items' and correct word order: 'write everything down on the list'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× Uh, I don't know reason because I really like the analogue.

✓ I don't know the reason; I really like analogue methods.

Add definite article 'the reason'. 'Analogue' needs a noun; use 'analogue methods' or 'analogue ways' to be grammatical.

× So write on the paper because of course I can use my computer and my phone or type something, but I prefer the text on my with my hands.

✓ So I write on paper because, of course, I can use my computer or my phone to type something, but I prefer writing by hand.

Correct pronoun and preposition use: 'write on paper' or 'write on the paper' depending on context; 'the text on my with my hands' is ungrammatical. Use 'writing by hand' to express preference.

× Uh, write down on the paper or not with better way to remember to to the list.

✓ Writing things down on paper helps me remember the list better.

Original is ungrammatical. Use clear subject and verb: 'Writing things down on paper helps me remember the list better.' This expresses cause and effect and correct word order.