Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy such as "I have 9 to 5 schedule which makes me find it hard to spare time to read"; instead, say "I work a 9 to 5 job, so I rarely find time to visit the library." Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I don't visit the library often nowadays because I work a 9 to 5 job, which leaves me little free time. However, when I was at university, I frequently went there to read and prepare for my final exams.

提案: Your answer is relevant but somewhat repetitive and could be more structured. Avoid repeating "usually" and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, try to combine sentences to avoid redundancy and improve fluency.

例: I usually go to the library to prepare for exams because it offers a quiet environment that helps me concentrate. Additionally, I enjoy reading there since it has a wide selection of books.

提案: Your answer is good and provides specific reasons, but it could be more concise and natural. Avoid phrases like "there are just lots of"; instead, say "there were many interesting books." Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I often visited the library as a child because it had many interesting books on different subjects that fascinated me. Moreover, I could go there with friends and spend entire afternoons enjoying the atmosphere.

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear but could be improved by using more natural expressions and linking words. For example, replace "immerse themselves on the phone" with "are often absorbed in their phones." Also, avoid starting sentences with "However" after a negative statement; use "but" instead.

例: I don't think Chinese children visit libraries very often, even though there are many good public libraries available. This is because nowadays, kids are often absorbed in their phones, playing games or chatting with friends, rather than going to the library.

× I don't visit the library very often at the moment because I have 9 to 5 schedule which makes me find it hard to spare time to read.

✓ I don't visit the library very often at the moment because I have a 9 to 5 schedule which makes it hard for me to find time to read.

The phrase 'have 9 to 5 schedule' is missing the article 'a' before '9 to 5 schedule'. Also, the phrase 'makes me find it hard' is awkward; the correct expression is 'makes it hard for me to find'. This improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× However, nowadays children tend to immerse themselves on the phone, either playing games or talking with their friends rather than go to the library.

✓ However, nowadays children tend to immerse themselves in their phones, either playing games or talking with their friends rather than go to the library.

The correct preposition with 'immerse themselves' is 'in', not 'on'. Also, 'the phone' should be 'their phones' to indicate possession and plurality. This correction makes the sentence grammatically correct and clearer.