Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite long and a bit repetitive. Try to keep your response concise and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, instead of repeating 'because' multiple times, you can use 'since' or 'as' and add linking phrases like 'which helps me to...'.

例: Yes, I often go to the library since it's close to my college campus. I enjoy reading documentaries there because it's very peaceful, which helps me concentrate better. I find these visits to be the best part of my day.

提案: Avoid repeating information from previous answers. Instead, provide new details or examples. Also, improve sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Use linking words like 'therefore' or 'so that' to explain reasons clearly.

例: Usually, I read documentary books in the library because it's much quieter there than on campus. This peaceful environment allows me to concentrate better and understand the material more effectively.

提案: Be careful with word choice and grammar (e.g., 'killed' should be 'a kid'). Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words like 'however' and 'because' to connect ideas logically.

例: No, I didn't go to the library when I was a kid because I lived in my home country and had a lot of schoolwork. However, now that I'm a college student, I have more free time and life is stressful, so I visit the library more often to find peace.

提案: Avoid making assumptions without clear evidence. Instead, express uncertainty politely and provide reasons. Also, improve sentence flow by using linking words like 'however' and 'based on'.

例: Honestly, I'm not sure how often Chinese kids go to the library because I haven't met many outside of college. However, based on what I've read online, many Chinese children are very studious, so I believe they likely visit libraries regularly.

× I go to the library quite often because it's convenient for me as the library is near my college campus and I usually go there to read documentaries, which I really enjoy and it's very peaceful there, which makes me concentrate more and I think it's the best part of my day.

✓ I go to the library quite often because it's convenient for me as the library is near my college campus and I usually go there to read documentary books, which I really enjoy. It's very peaceful there, which helps me concentrate more, and I think it's the best part of my day.

The word 'documentaries' is incorrectly used to refer to books; the correct term is 'documentary books'. Also, the original sentence is a run-on sentence; breaking it into shorter sentences improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× As I have mentioned in the previous question that I go to the library to read documentary books because it's a lot more peace in the library so I can concentrate more and understand the book, which is not easier to do in the college campus because of noises.

✓ As I mentioned in the previous question, I go to the library to read documentary books because there is much more peace in the library, so I can concentrate better and understand the book, which is not easy to do on the college campus because of the noise.

The phrase 'a lot more peace' is incorrect; 'much more peace' is appropriate for uncountable nouns like 'peace'. Also, 'not easier' should be 'not easy' to correctly express difficulty. 'Noises' should be singular 'noise' as it is uncountable in this context. Preposition 'on' is used with 'campus'.

× No, to be honest, I didn't go to the library when I was killed because I was in my home country then and I had a lot of school work to do.

✓ No, to be honest, I didn't go to the library when I was a kid because I was in my home country then and I had a lot of school work to do.

The word 'killed' is a typo and should be 'kid' to correctly refer to childhood. This is a past tense context, so the correction maintains the past tense appropriately.

× But now when I'm a college student, I have plenty of time to read books and now the life is stressful and I need peace. That's why I go to library more.

✓ But now, as a college student, I have plenty of time to read books. Life is stressful now, and I need peace. That's why I go to the library more.

The phrase 'the life is stressful' is incorrect; 'life is stressful' is correct because 'life' is a general concept and does not need 'the'. Also, 'go to library' requires the definite article 'the' as it refers to a specific place.

× Honestly I have no idea about Chinese kids going to library because there are a very few people I have met not on the college campus.

✓ Honestly, I have no idea about Chinese kids going to the library because there are very few people I have met outside the college campus.

The phrase 'a very few people' is incorrect; 'very few people' is the correct quantifier to express a small number. Also, 'going to library' requires the definite article 'the'. The preposition 'not on' is better expressed as 'outside' for clarity.

× But as I have learned from the Internet, Chinese kids are so much intelligent so they must be going to the library I'm sure.

✓ But as I have learned from the Internet, Chinese kids are very intelligent, so they must be going to the library, I'm sure.

The phrase 'so much intelligent' is incorrect; 'very intelligent' is the correct form. Also, a comma is needed before 'so' to separate the clauses properly. Adding commas improves sentence clarity.