Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains filler words like 'uh' and 'wow' which reduce the natural flow. Try to be more concise and avoid redundancy by combining similar ideas. Also, use linking words to connect your points smoothly.

例: Yes, I often go to the library because it is a quiet and peaceful place where I can concentrate on my studies and complete my work efficiently.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains redundancy and filler phrases like 'you know' and repeated words. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words to improve coherence.

例: In the library, I usually read books and complete assignments given by my teachers. Since I often have a lot of homework, I prioritize finishing it there to stay focused.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and unclear phrases, such as 'kid as a kid' and 'ideas about the war happens.' Avoid filler words and be more specific and clear in your explanations. Use proper sentence structure and linking words.

例: Yes, I often went to the library as a child because it was a place to learn new things and expand my knowledge. My parents encouraged me to read more to understand different topics, including history.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically. Also, avoid awkward phrasing and be more specific.

例: Yes, many Chinese kids often go to the library because they believe that studying at home is less effective. Being around other students in the library helps them stay motivated and focused.

× Wow, personally I usually go to library for studying and reading because uh library is a very quiet and uh, peace place where I can stay focused and also uh to stay concentrate on my works and all my studies.

✓ Wow, personally I usually go to the library for studying and reading because the library is a very quiet and peaceful place where I can stay focused and also stay concentrated on my work and all my studies.

The definite article 'the' is required before 'library' when referring to a specific place known to both speaker and listener. Also, 'peace' should be 'peaceful' as an adjective describing the place. 'Stay concentrate' is incorrect; the correct form is 'stay concentrated' or 'concentrate'. 'Works' should be singular 'work' when referring to tasks or assignments collectively.

× Well, as I mentioned, I usually read books and also finish my works that given by the teachers.

✓ Well, as I mentioned, I usually read books and also finish my work that is given by the teachers.

The definite article 'the' is not needed before 'works' here; 'work' is uncountable when referring to tasks. Also, the relative clause needs the verb 'is' to be grammatically correct: 'work that is given by the teachers'.

× But you know, sometimes I usually do my homework because there are plenty of the homework that is given by them.

✓ But you know, sometimes I usually do my homework because there is plenty of homework that is given by them.

'Homework' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized or preceded by 'the' in this context. Also, 'there are' should be 'there is' to agree with the singular uncountable noun 'homework'.

× Kid as a kid, I always go to library because library, it's a place where people can learn things and broaden their perspective.

✓ As a kid, I always went to the library because the library is a place where people can learn things and broaden their perspective.

The past tense 'went' is required to match the past time reference 'as a kid'. The definite article 'the' is needed before 'library' when referring to a specific place. 'It's' is acceptable here as a present tense general truth.

× So, uh, my mom and my dad wanted me to, uh, obtain more knowledge and also ideas about the war happens, uh.

✓ So, uh, my mom and my dad wanted me to, uh, obtain more knowledge and also ideas about what happens in the world, uh.

The phrase 'about the war happens' is ungrammatical and unclear. It should be rephrased to 'about what happens in the world' or a similar expression. Also, 'the' is not appropriate before 'war happens' as it is not a noun phrase here.

× Well, Chinese kids particularly like going to library because they tend to think that the home, it's not a suitable place to study rather than just staying in a group of in a place where there's a group of people so they can be motivated by them.

✓ Well, Chinese kids particularly like going to the library because they tend to think that home is not a suitable place to study rather than just staying in a place where there's a group of people so they can be motivated by them.

The definite article 'the' is needed before 'library' when referring to a specific place. 'The home' is incorrect; 'home' as a concept does not usually take 'the'. The phrase 'a group of in a place' is redundant and corrected to 'a place where there's a group of people'.