Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitation sounds (uh), correct grammar (e.g., 'assigned by my teachers'), and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I go to the library several times a week. I usually work on assignments assigned by my teachers and revise for exams. Moreover, because my dormitory is small and noisy, the library gives me a quiet space to concentrate.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words (for example, moreover, additionally) and avoid repetition. Be specific about the kinds of resources and tasks, and correct word forms (e.g., 'reference materials and resources'). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: In the library I mainly work on coursework and research papers. For example, I use online databases and academic books to find reliable references. Additionally, I study there because it offers a focused environment that improves my productivity.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer and then support it with a specific, well-linked reason. Avoid contradictory or unclear phrases ('it's always fun' after saying 'never went'). Use past tense correctly and keep it concise.

例: No, I didn't go to the library when I was a child. Instead, I preferred playing with friends in the park because it was more fun and active. I have fond memories of those carefree afternoons.

提案: Give a direct, well-structured opinion: start with a clear statement, then provide specific reasons and an example. Use correct collocations (e.g., 'different across provinces', 'educational resources', 'economic development') and finish your sentence. Avoid trailing off.

例: It varies across regions: children in larger cities are more likely to visit libraries. This is because urban areas have better educational resources and wealthier families who encourage study. In contrast, rural areas may lack library facilities and therefore fewer children go.

× Yes, I always go to the library, usually uh several times a week to uh, finish my academic papers from my teachers, assign UH and my dormitory.

✓ Yes, I always go to the library, usually several times a week, to finish the academic papers assigned by my teachers and to study away from my dormitory.

Incorrect or missing articles and passive construction: 'academic papers from my teachers' sounds unnatural; use 'the academic papers' and form passive 'assigned by my teachers'. Also clarify 'and my dormitory' to 'and to study away from my dormitory' for meaning. Use articles 'the' when referring to specific known items.

× Always uh small and noisy, so the library provides more space and a quiet study.

✓ My dormitory is always small and noisy, so the library provides more space and a quiet place to study.

Sentence fragment and missing subject: 'Always small and noisy' lacks a subject and verb. Clarify subject 'My dormitory' and add 'is'. 'a quiet study' is incorrect collocation; use 'a quiet place to study'.

× I often work on papers that my teacher assigns, and I always prepare the course task, uh, in the library.

✓ I often work on papers that my teachers assign, and I always prepare course tasks in the library.

Subject-verb agreement and article use: 'my teacher assigns' suggests a single teacher; if referring to multiple courses use 'my teachers assign'. 'the course task' is vague; 'course tasks' or 'coursework' fits better. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant commas.

× Uh, and I also use the library to find the reference materials and the resource that will be useful for my future studies.

✓ I also use the library to find reference materials and resources that will be useful for my future studies.

Incorrect use of articles and singular/plural: 'the reference materials and the resource' mixes definite article and singular; better to use plural 'reference materials and resources' without 'the' for general reference. This matches countable plural form.

× No, I never went to the library when I was a kid, uh, recall my childhood.

✓ No, I never went to the library when I was a kid; I recall my childhood as being full of outdoor play.

Awkward phrasing and tense consistency: 'recall my childhood' is an incomplete clause. Rephrase to a full past-tense statement 'I recall my childhood as being...' to match 'never went' and convey meaning clearly.

× It's always fun and interesting.

✓ It was always fun and interesting.

Tense inconsistency: The student is talking about childhood (past), so use past tense 'was' instead of present 'is'.

× Uh, I prefer to, uh, play with my friends in the park, uh, rather than study at library.

✓ I preferred to play with my friends in the park rather than study at the library.

Pronoun/verb tense and article: For past habit use past tense 'preferred'. Also 'study at library' misses the article 'the library'. Remove fillers 'uh'.

× Yeah, it's very happy memory.

✓ Yes, it's a very happy memory.

Incorrect word form and article: 'happy' should modify 'memory' which is a noun; keep 'happy memory' but include article 'a'. 'Very' is fine. Use 'Yes' instead of 'Yeah' for formality.

× I think it's different between the deserved provinces actually.

✓ I think it is different between the various provinces, actually.

Word choice and sentence structure: 'deserved provinces' is incorrect word choice. Use 'various provinces' or 'different provinces'. Keep 'it is different between' to indicate variation.

× In my opinion it depends on education source and the development of economic of the city.

✓ In my opinion, it depends on education resources and the economic development of the city.

Preposition and noun form errors: Use plural 'education resources' and correct noun order 'economic development' instead of 'the development of economic of the city'. Add comma after introductory phrase.

× The big city's parents always have high standards to their kids, so these kids always go to the library but.

✓ Parents in big cities always have high standards for their children, so these kids always go to the library.

Preposition and noun form: Use 'in big cities' instead of 'The big city's parents'. Use 'standards for their children' not 'standards to their kids'. Remove trailing 'but'. 'Children' is more natural than 'kids' in formal speech.