Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more specific and expand slightly with one linked reason or example. Use a clear topic sentence, then one concise supporting detail with a linking word (e.g., because, so, or for example). Avoid absolute statements like “not a big reader” without context.

例: No, I don't go to the library often because I prefer studying on my computer at home. For example, I use online textbooks and apps that let me organize notes more efficiently.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words (e.g., however, but, during) and give specific details about activities and how the library helped. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and correct tense and word order.

例: I rarely go to the library now, but I used it during my final exams. During that time, I studied with friends in a quiet corner and used reference books and computers to prepare for the maturity test.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Remove hesitations and improve fluency by practicing short, connected sentences using linking words like 'so' or 'instead'.

例: No, I didn't go to the library as a child. Instead, I usually studied at home with my mother, and sometimes I met friends at each other's houses to study together.

提案: Avoid vague phrases like 'I don't really know'—start with a hedged opinion if unsure (e.g., 'I'm not certain, but...'). Use correct word forms and give a specific reason or example. Use linking words to make the idea coherent.

例: I'm not certain, but I think many Chinese children are quite committed to studying. For example, they often attend after-school classes or study groups, which means they might visit libraries or group-study spaces to prepare for exams.

× I don't go to the library so I can't respond to this question but there was a period when I went when I went to the library and was for my maturity test.

✓ I don't go to the library now, so I can't answer this question, but there was a period when I used to go to the library to prepare for my maturity test.

The original sentence is run-on and repetitive ('when I went when I went') and uses awkward phrasing ('was for my maturity test'). This is a sentence structure error. Suggestion: split ideas with a comma and conjunction, replace 'respond' with 'answer' for naturalness, use 'used to go' to indicate a past habitual action, and use 'to prepare for' to show purpose.

× I met my friends and girlfriend to study all together and to prepare for our exam.

✓ I met my friends and my girlfriend to study together and to prepare for our exam.

The phrase 'all together' is commonly written as 'together' here; this is more a word choice combined with small article omission. Also 'girlfriend' needs an article 'my' for clarity. Use 'together' for natural adverb placement. This fits verb participle context since 'to study' and 'to prepare' are infinitives showing purpose.

× No, the, the things aren't changed because, uh, when I was a kid, I didn't go to the library.

✓ No, things haven't changed because when I was a kid I didn't go to the library.

The use of 'aren't changed' is incorrect for describing a continuing state from past to present; present perfect passive or active is needed. This is a present tense issue. Use 'haven't changed' to link past to present. Also remove filler commas and repeated 'the'.

× I usually studied at home with my mother and uh, sometimes also with my friends.

✓ I usually studied at home with my mother and sometimes also with my friends.

The original sentence contains filler 'uh,' which should be removed for clarity. The verb form 'studied' is correct for past habitual action; this issue mainly concerns unnecessary filler and adverb placement. Keep 'sometimes also with my friends' but place 'sometimes' before 'also' or simply 'sometimes with my friends.'

× We usually met in our houses.

✓ We usually met at our houses.

Use of preposition 'in' is not natural for meeting at someone's home; 'at' is appropriate for indicating location of meeting. This is an incorrect preposition use.

× I don't really know but I believe that Chinese kids are more commitment committed to study, they are more productive and maybe they can meet all together to study different subjects.

✓ I don't really know, but I believe that Chinese kids are more committed to studying; they are more hardworking and may meet together to study different subjects.

Multiple problems: 'commitment committed' is wrong (word form error) and 'to study' after 'committed' should be the gerund 'to studying' or 'committed students' rephrase. This is a present tense/verb form issue and adjective choice. Also 'all together' should be 'together' and 'maybe they can' is better as 'may' for expectation. Suggest using 'committed to studying' or 'more committed' and replace 'productive' with 'hardworking' for naturalness.