Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with appropriate linking words. Avoid repeating phrases like "I used to" and fix verb forms (e.g., "I participate" → "we participated").

例: I don't often go to the library anymore. When I was a child I went regularly with friends to join reading contests and workshops, but now I prefer reading ebooks or listening to audiobooks because they are more convenient.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and use correct grammar and linking words. Be specific about activities and avoid fragmented or unclear phrases. Limit to up to five sentences and use past tense consistently when talking about the past.

例: In the library I usually took part in activities organized by the staff, such as reading competitions and short courses. After the events we would study together or relax in the reading area.

提案: Use a clear and natural topic sentence, correct word choice ('merely' is odd here), and give concise reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition like 'other interests in different other things.'

例: Yes, I went to the library regularly as a child. However, I gradually stopped going because I lost touch with the friends I used to go with and developed new hobbies, such as sports and online reading.

提案: Be confident and specific when answering general questions. Start with a direct opinion, then support it with a reason and an example. Avoid vague geographic claims unless certain; use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.'

例: I think many Chinese children do use libraries, especially in major cities, because schools and parents encourage reading. For example, public libraries often run after-school programs that attract both children and adults.

× I used to go with my friends where we participate in contest and other reading related things.

✓ I used to go with my friends where we participated in contests and other reading-related activities.

The sentence refers to past habitual actions, so the main verb should be in the past tense ('participated') rather than present. 'Contest' should be plural ('contests') to match 'different' and 'reading related' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective ('reading-related activities'). Use of 'activities' is more natural than 'things.' Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for all verbs when describing past habits and use plural nouns when referring to multiple events.

× But I stopped when I grew up.

✓ But I stopped when I grew up.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a completed action. Included here only to confirm tense consistency with surrounding sentences.

× I mainly read books online or I listen to audiobooks.

✓ I mainly read books online or listen to audiobooks.

When listing habitual present actions, maintain consistent simple present tense and avoid repeating the subject unnecessarily. Remove the second 'I' to make the sentence smoother and keep both verbs parallel ('read' and 'listen').

× In the past when I used to go with my friends, we mainly read different books or participate in different contest but was held by the admins of the library and we we also used to take courses and we played a lot after we finish in the background of.

✓ In the past, when I used to go with my friends, we mainly read different books or participated in various contests held by the library administrators; we also used to take courses and we played a lot afterward in the background.

Multiple errors: verbs describing past habits should be in past tense ('participated'); 'contest' should be plural and 'held by the admins of the library' must agree with subject, so rephrase to 'contests held by the library administrators.' Remove duplicated 'we' and change 'after we finish in the background of' to 'afterward in the background' or simply 'afterward.' Use semicolon or commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, avoid repetition, and use clearer phrasing for 'held by' and time expressions.

× Did you go to the library when you were a kid?

✓ Did you go to the library when you were a kid?

No correction needed; question correctly uses past tense auxiliary 'did' for asking about past actions.

× Yes, I merely went to the library when I was a kid, but as I grew older I gradually stopped because I lost contact with with my friends that I used to go with and I grew other interests in different other things.

✓ Yes, I rarely went to the library when I was a kid, but as I grew older I gradually stopped because I lost contact with the friends I used to go with and developed other interests.

'Merely' is misused; 'rarely' or 'seldom' is appropriate for infrequent visits. Removed duplicate 'with with.' 'Friends that I used to go with' is wordy; better as 'the friends I used to go with.' 'I grew other interests in different other things' is ungrammatical; use 'developed other interests.' Suggestions: choose correct adverb for frequency, remove duplicates, and use 'developed' for acquiring interests.

× I lost contact with with my friends that I used to go with

✓ I lost contact with the friends I used to go with

Avoid using 'that' for people in informal speech; 'who' or omitting the relative pronoun is better. Also remove duplicate 'with.' Suggestion: use 'the friends I used to go with' or 'the friends whom I used to go with.'

× I guess South China is very known for educating their kids to a high level, so I assume that libraries are very common there and not between children only but also among adults.

✓ I guess South China is well known for educating its children to a high standard, so I assume that libraries are common there not only among children but also among adults.

'Very known' is incorrect; use 'well known.' 'Their kids' should be 'its children' when referring to a region ('South China'). 'To a high level' is better as 'to a high standard.' 'Not between children only but also among adults' is awkward; use 'not only among children but also among adults' for correct correlative conjunction placement. Suggestion: use 'well known,' correct possessive pronoun for regions, and the correlative pair 'not only... but also.'

× I guess South China is very known for educating their kids to a high level, so I assume that libraries are very common there and not between children only but also among adults.

✓ I guess South China is well known for educating its children to a high standard, so I assume that libraries are common there not only among children but also among adults.

No article required before 'South China' and 'libraries' is correct plural. Use 'its' for the region. This entry reiterates corrections for article and possessive usage: use appropriate possessive 'its' rather than 'their' when referring to a region or place.