Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer needs to be clearer and more structured. Start with a direct response to the question, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like 'BU in buying shoes'. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences for clarity.

例: I didn't like buying shoes when I was a child, but now I enjoy it a lot. I prefer comfortable shoes and like to buy different styles. Moreover, I often follow the latest trends when choosing shoes.

提案: Your answer should be more concise and coherent. Use linking words like 'however' or 'because' to connect ideas. Also, correct grammar errors and avoid redundancy. Try to provide specific reasons for your fear and your friend's experience.

例: I have never bought shoes online because I am worried about the size and quality. However, a friend bought shoes from Amazon and was very satisfied with their comfort. Therefore, I am considering buying shoes online in the future.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Please respond directly to the question with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details. Avoid confusing phrases like 'not ending of my own' and 'my Pennsylvania parents'. Also, mention the currency for clarity.

例: I usually spend between 1000 to 2000 Indian Rupees on shoes. Since I am young, my parents often buy shoes for me. I prefer to shop at HD Eaton Plaza because they have a good selection.

提案: Your answer should be more precise and avoid unclear statements like 'it will affect our foods'. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'for example' to explain your preference. Provide specific reasons and experiences clearly.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because fashionable ones can sometimes cause discomfort or allergies. For example, I once bought fashionable shoes that hurt my feet, so now I always choose comfort over style.

× I was really not interested in the BU in buying shoes and all the stuff.

✓ I was really not interested in buying shoes and all that stuff.

The phrase 'in the BU in buying shoes' is incorrect and unclear. The correct preposition is 'in' followed by the gerund 'buying'. Also, 'all the stuff' is better expressed as 'all that stuff' to sound natural.

× I prefer shoes more comfortable and I really like to buy different kind of shoes.

✓ I prefer more comfortable shoes and I really like to buy different kinds of shoes.

The adjective 'comfortable' should be placed before the noun 'shoes' and 'more' should modify 'comfortable'. Also, 'different kind' should be pluralized to 'different kinds' when referring to multiple types.

× Buy the trend by following the trend that.

✓ I like to buy shoes by following the trend.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. It needs restructuring to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× Till now I have never bought shoes online as I was really feared about the size and getting cheated.

✓ Till now I have never bought shoes online as I was really afraid about the size and getting cheated.

The phrase 'was really feared' is incorrect; 'afraid' is the correct adjective to express fear. Also, 'Till now' with present perfect 'have never bought' is acceptable.

× But one of my friend who have bought the shoes from Amazon so and if they were really comfortable and he was really satisfied and I was really when I was really impressed.

✓ But one of my friends who has bought shoes from Amazon said they were really comfortable and he was really satisfied, and I was really impressed.

The singular 'friend' should be plural 'friends' to match 'one of my friends'. 'Have' should be 'has' for third person singular. The sentence is fragmented and needs proper conjunctions and punctuation for clarity.

× So in future I think I would like to buy one online.

✓ So in the future, I think I would like to buy one online.

The phrase 'in future' should be 'in the future' to be grammatically correct.

× As I am still young and cannot afford to buy more expensive shoes as I am not ending of my own, my Pennsylvania parents would buy it for me.

✓ As I am still young and cannot afford to buy more expensive shoes because I am not earning on my own, my parents would buy them for me.

'Ending' is incorrect; the correct word is 'earning'. 'Pennsylvania' is unnecessary unless contextually relevant. 'It' should be 'them' to refer to 'shoes' plural.

× So I think I would take shoe. I would buy shoes at the range between 1000 to 2000 of price and I would like to buy them from the HD Eaton Plaza.

✓ So I think I would buy shoes in the price range between 1000 to 2000, and I would like to buy them from HD Eaton Plaza.

'Take shoe' is incorrect; 'buy shoes' is appropriate. 'At the range between' should be 'in the price range between'. 'The HD Eaton Plaza' should be 'HD Eaton Plaza' unless 'the' is part of the name.

× I prefer comfortable shoes most as by thinking of only fashion it will affect our foods.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes the most because thinking only of fashion will affect our feet.

'Most' should be 'the most' for superlative. 'By thinking of only fashion' is awkward; 'because thinking only of fashion' is better. 'Foods' is incorrect; the correct word is 'feet'.

× It will make a sort of allergy as one time I buy the fashionable shoes and they were really not comfortable.

✓ It can cause a sort of allergy; one time I bought fashionable shoes and they were really not comfortable.

'Will make' is better as 'can cause' to express possibility. 'I buy' should be past tense 'I bought' to match the past event.

× So after that I always buy comfortable shoes.

✓ So after that, I always buy comfortable shoes.

The sentence is correct but needs a comma after 'So' for clarity.