Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by using simpler sentence structures and avoiding redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words to improve coherence.

例: I don't really like buying shoes very often. Usually, I buy a new pair once every year or so because I prefer high-quality shoes that last a long time. Therefore, I tend to keep the same shoes until they are worn out.

提案: Improve your answer by organizing your ideas clearly and using linking words. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition for a more natural response.

例: No, I have never bought shoes online because I don't trust the sizing. Since sizes can vary between countries, I prefer to try shoes on in a store to make sure they fit well and feel comfortable.

提案: Be more specific and clear in your answer. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid vague expressions. Also, check the currency amount for accuracy and clarity.

例: I'm not exactly sure, but usually I spend between 500 and 700 Qatari riyals on a pair of shoes. The price depends on the style and quality I want.

提案: Complete your answer and use linking words to clearly explain your preference. Avoid incomplete sentences and provide specific examples to support your opinion.

例: I prefer both fashionable and comfortable shoes. For example, I buy one fashionable pair for special occasions and another comfortable pair for daily use, like going to work.

× No, I don't think that I'm from the people who like buying shoes.

✓ No, I don't think that I'm one of the people who like buying shoes.

The phrase 'I'm from the people' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'I'm one of the people' to indicate belonging to a group. Using 'one of the people' properly refers to being part of that group.

× Actually I buy my shoes like from year to year, not always.

✓ Actually, I buy my shoes about once a year, not always.

The phrase 'like from year to year' is awkward and incorrect. The correct expression is 'about once a year' to indicate frequency. Also, adding a comma after 'Actually' improves clarity.

× And I really like the quality of the shoes and I have when I I'm choosing shoes that I like, I don't change it until it's.

✓ I really like the quality of shoes, and when I choose shoes that I like, I don't change them until they wear out.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Correct sentence structure requires clear subject-verb-object order and complete thoughts. Also, 'I have when I I'm choosing' is incorrect; it should be 'when I choose'. 'It' should be 'them' to agree with plural 'shoes'. The phrase 'until it's' is incomplete; 'until they wear out' completes the thought.

× No I don't trust online shopping actually, especially on shoes or clothes because it's different body or feet size or any anything from a country to another.

✓ No, I don't trust online shopping, especially for shoes or clothes, because body or feet sizes differ from one country to another.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect; 'for' is appropriate when referring to shopping for items. The phrase 'different body or feet size' is ungrammatical; it should be 'body or feet sizes differ'. Also, 'from a country to another' should be 'from one country to another'.

× So I like to see the shoes on my leg to try it in the same shop so I can see how it works.

✓ So I like to try the shoes on my feet in the shop so I can see how they fit.

The phrase 'see the shoes on my leg' is incorrect; shoes are tried on feet, not legs. Also, 'try it' should be 'try them' to agree with plural 'shoes'. 'In the same shop' is better as 'in the shop'. 'See how it works' is vague; 'see how they fit' is more appropriate.

× I'm not sure actually, but it depends on the shoes that I want to buy. But yeah, it will be between 500 Qatar real to 7000.

✓ I'm not sure actually, but it depends on the shoes I want to buy. It will be between 500 and 700 Qatari riyals.

The phrase 'between 500 Qatar real to 7000' is incorrect. The correct form is 'between 500 and 700'. Also, the currency name is 'Qatari riyals'. The number '7000' seems too high and inconsistent; likely intended '700'.

× As I mentioned before, I buy 2 shoes a year, so I like to buy one of them fashionable and the other one is comfortable for daily use.

✓ As I mentioned before, I buy 2 pairs of shoes a year, so I like to buy one pair fashionable and the other comfortable for daily use.

The word 'shoes' should be plural in pairs when counting quantity. Saying '2 shoes' implies two individual shoes, but '2 pairs of shoes' is correct. Also, 'one of them fashionable' is awkward; better to say 'one pair fashionable'.

× So I can if I want to go to a luxury place or make a good outfit I will use the fashionable but if I go to work I will use the.

✓ So if I want to go to a luxury place or dress well, I will wear the fashionable pair, but if I go to work, I will wear the comfortable ones.

The original sentence is fragmented and incomplete. The phrase 'So I can if I want to go...' is confusing and needs reordering. 'Make a good outfit' is better expressed as 'dress well'. The sentence ends abruptly with 'I will use the.' which is incomplete; it should specify 'comfortable ones' to complete the thought.