Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but can be more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy like "indulge in buying shoes" and "buy the shoes randomly". Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I like buying shoes and usually do so about once a year when I need a new pair. However, I am not an impulsive buyer and prefer to purchase shoes only when necessary.

提案: Your answer provides good details but can be improved by using clearer linking words and correcting grammar. For example, use 'because' instead of 'and' to explain reasons, and avoid awkward phrases like 'I did need it'.

例: Yes, I started buying shoes online during the COVID pandemic because all offline stores were closed. I needed new shoes to run on my treadmill since my old ones were worn out. Since then, I have continued purchasing shoes online and noticed that prices vary significantly.

提案: Your answer has useful information but needs clearer structure and grammar. Avoid vague phrases like 'very much expensive' and clarify currency. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: I usually spend between 5,000 to 6,000 rupees on shoes each year. I prefer affordable yet comfortable options, such as rain shoes from the Skechers brand.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but can be more concise and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'therefore' to connect reasons and results smoothly.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because, as a physiotherapist, I work long hours. Therefore, I choose durable and comfortable shoes, usually from the Skechers brand.

× I often indulge in buying shoes once in a year or so whenever there is a need to buy the new one.

✓ I often indulge in buying shoes once a year or so whenever there is a need to buy new ones.

The phrase 'once in a year' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'once a year'. Also, 'the new one' should be plural 'new ones' because 'shoes' is plural, so the pronoun must agree in number.

× But I'm not an impulsive buyer that I buy the shoes randomly whenever I go to the market.

✓ But I'm not an impulsive buyer who buys shoes randomly whenever I go to the market.

The relative pronoun 'that' is incorrectly used for a person; 'who' is correct. Also, the verb should agree with the subject 'buyer' (third person singular), so 'buy' changes to 'buys'.

× Yes, I used to buy shoes online when it was COVID hit in our country.

✓ Yes, I used to buy shoes online when COVID hit our country.

The phrase 'it was COVID hit' is incorrect. The correct past tense expression is 'when COVID hit our country' without 'it was'.

× There was no accessibility to buy shoes from the offline stores.

✓ There was no access to buy shoes from offline stores.

The word 'accessibility' is incorrect here; 'access' is the correct noun. Also, 'the offline stores' should be 'offline stores' without 'the' because it refers to stores in general.

× Everything was closed and I did need it to run on a treadmill and my old shoes were torn.

✓ Everything was closed and I needed shoes to run on a treadmill because my old shoes were torn.

The phrase 'I did need it to run' is incorrect. The correct form is 'I needed shoes to run' to express past necessity. Also, 'it' is unclear and should be replaced with 'shoes'.

× So from that time onwards, I started buying shoes online and found the prices were heavily different.

✓ So from that time onwards, I started buying shoes online and found the prices were very different.

The adverb 'heavily' is incorrectly used to describe 'different'. The correct adverb is 'very' to indicate degree of difference.

× I think I don't buy shoes which are very much expensive.

✓ I think I don't buy shoes that are very expensive.

The phrase 'very much expensive' is incorrect; the correct form is 'very expensive'. Also, 'which' is better replaced by 'that' in restrictive clauses.

× There is a budget that is allocated for my shoes that I buy once a year and that's around 5:00 to 6:00 K, not more than that.

✓ There is a budget allocated for my shoes, which I buy once a year, and that's around 5,000 to 6,000, not more than that.

The pronoun 'that' is incorrectly used for non-restrictive clause; 'which' is correct. Also, '5:00 to 6:00 K' is unclear; it should be '5,000 to 6,000' to indicate amount. Commas improve clarity.

× I think we can get an affordable rain shoes but comfortable also from the Skechers brand itself.

✓ I think we can get affordable rain shoes that are also comfortable from the Skechers brand itself.

'An affordable rain shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural and 'an' is singular. Also, 'but comfortable also' is awkward; 'that are also comfortable' is correct.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because I'm a physiotherapist so I have long working hours, so I need to wear something which is both comfortable as well as durable.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I'm a physiotherapist and I have long working hours, so I need to wear something that is both comfortable and durable.

The conjunction 'so' is used twice awkwardly; replacing the first 'so' with 'and' improves sentence flow. Also, 'which' should be 'that' in defining clauses. 'Both comfortable as well as durable' should be 'both comfortable and durable'.