Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and improving sentence flow. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I don't often buy shoes because I usually receive them as gifts on special occasions like my birthday or Christmas.

提案: Avoid repeating the same information and improve grammar. Use linking words to connect your ideas and express your feelings clearly and naturally.

例: Yes, I recently bought shoes online, but it was disappointing because the size was wrong and the shoes didn't meet my expectations, which was quite stressful and felt like a waste of money.

提案: Try to avoid repeating words like 'usually' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect your reasons smoothly.

例: I typically spend around 500 to 600 per pair because I prefer buying branded shoes like Nike or Puma, as I believe they are more durable and last longer despite their higher price.

提案: Make your answer more complete and coherent by finishing your thoughts and using linking words. Avoid repetition and improve sentence flow for clarity.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes like sneakers because, as a university student, I walk a lot around campus, so wearing comfortable shoes helps me avoid discomfort and makes moving around easier.

× Actually recently I bought a shoes online.

✓ Actually recently I bought shoes online.

The word 'shoes' is plural, so the article 'a' should not be used before it. 'A' is used only with singular countable nouns. Therefore, 'a shoes' is incorrect; it should be 'shoes' without 'a'.

× Second, I got the size wrong which is stress me out and it felt like just a waste of money which I really don't like.

✓ Second, I got the size wrong which stressed me out and it felt like just a waste of money which I really didn't like.

The phrase 'which is stress me out' is incorrect because 'stress' should be in past tense 'stressed' to match the past event 'got the size wrong'. Also, 'I really don't like' should be in past tense 'I really didn't like' to maintain consistency with the past experience.

× I usually spend around 500 to 600 per pair because I usually buy my shoes in the mall in brands like Nike, Onitsuka, Tiger, Puma.

✓ I usually spend around 500 to 600 per pair because I usually buy my shoes in the mall from brands like Nike, Onitsuka, Tiger, Puma.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used before 'brands'. The correct preposition is 'from' when indicating the source or origin of something. This is a preposition error (ID 11), but since the instruction is to correct only grammar mistakes that meet the list, and preposition errors are included, this correction is necessary.

× I really enjoy buying branded shoes because I believe that it is more durable and it can last long despite of its price.

✓ I really enjoy buying branded shoes because I believe that they are more durable and can last long despite their price.

The phrase 'despite of' is incorrect; the correct form is 'despite' without 'of'. Also, 'it' should be 'they' to agree with the plural noun 'shoes'. Additionally, 'last long' is acceptable but 'last a long time' would be better; however, the main error is the preposition and pronoun.

× Personally, I'd prefer to have comfortable shoes like sneakers or some flat shoes because as a university student we usually roam around the campus to find our classes and for me it is a great way or it is a big help for me to wear comfortable to wear these because this can lessen the hassle that I.

✓ Personally, I'd prefer to have comfortable shoes like sneakers or some flat shoes because, as a university student, we usually roam around the campus to find our classes. For me, it is a great help to wear comfortable shoes because this can lessen the hassle.

The original sentence is run-on and incomplete, ending abruptly with 'that I.' It needs to be split into clearer sentences and restructured for clarity and completeness. The phrase 'to wear comfortable to wear these' is awkward and redundant; it should be 'to wear comfortable shoes.' This is a sentence structure error (ID 26).