Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct by using simpler sentence structures. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I like buying shoes, but I only buy them when my old ones are worn out. Therefore, I don't have a fixed schedule for buying shoes; it depends on when I need new ones.

提案: Reduce hesitation and filler words to make your answer more fluent. Use linking words to connect ideas clearly. Also, use correct vocabulary and grammar, for example, 'unfittable' should be 'ill-fitting'.

例: Yes, I definitely buy shoes online because it is very convenient. However, sometimes the shoes do not fit well, so I also visit physical stores to try them on before buying.

提案: Clarify your answer by using correct numbers and currency, and organise your ideas logically. Use linking words to explain reasons for spending more or less. Avoid unclear phrases and grammar mistakes.

例: I usually spend between 100 and 300 dollars on shoes. However, if the shoes are made of good materials and look nice, I am willing to pay more.

提案: Make your answer clearer by using correct vocabulary and grammar. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes, like trainers and loafers, because they make me feel relaxed and are easy to walk in. Therefore, comfort is more important to me than fashion.

× I love to find shoes, but I also have to consider about my budget.

✓ I love to find shoes, but I also have to consider my budget.

The verb 'consider' is not followed by the preposition 'about'. It should be used directly with the object, so 'consider my budget' is correct.

× So normally I just relate to my shoes become broken and then I going to buy it.

✓ So normally I just wait until my shoes become broken and then I go to buy them.

The phrase 'relate to my shoes become broken' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'wait until my shoes become broken'. Also, 'I going to buy it' should be 'I go to buy them' to match subject-verb agreement and plural shoes.

× It's not there's any period of time to define how often the I buy shoes.

✓ There isn't any specific period of time to define how often I buy shoes.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. The correct structure is 'There isn't any specific period of time' to express the intended meaning clearly.

× So I prefer to buy my shoes on online and but sometimes it has the drawback is like, uh, maybe we probably buy a unfittable shoes to us.

✓ So I prefer to buy my shoes online, but sometimes it has drawbacks, like maybe we buy shoes that don't fit us.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect before 'online'; it should be omitted. Also, 'a unfittable shoes' is incorrect; 'shoes' is plural and 'unfittable' is not standard; 'shoes that don't fit us' is clearer.

× maybe we probably buy a unfittable shoes to us.

✓ maybe we probably buy shoes that don't fit us.

The article 'a' cannot be used with the plural noun 'shoes'. Also, 'unfittable' is not a standard adjective; 'shoes that don't fit us' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× It is the unreasonable range of buying shoes and the if sometimes we have to get in higher and the shoes is always depends on the its mat material and the appearance and then I will consider higher cost.

✓ It is an unreasonable range for buying shoes, and sometimes we have to pay more. The price always depends on the material and the appearance, and then I will consider the higher cost.

The phrase 'unreasonable range of buying shoes' is awkward; 'range for buying shoes' is better. 'Get in higher' is incorrect; 'pay more' is appropriate. 'Shoes is' should be 'price always depends'. 'Its mat material' is unclear; 'material' is sufficient.

× and the shoes is always depends on the its mat material and the appearance and then I will consider higher cost.

✓ and the price always depends on the material and the appearance, and then I will consider the higher cost.

The pronoun 'its' is unnecessary and confusing here. Also, 'shoes is' is incorrect; the subject should be 'price' which is singular and matches the verb 'depends'.

× For me, I would definitely choose comfortable shoes such as trainers and the covers as well.

✓ For me, I would definitely choose comfortable shoes such as trainers and loafers as well.

The word 'covers' is incorrect in this context; likely the intended word is 'loafers' or another type of shoe. 'Covers' is not a type of shoe.

× And my reason is wearing comfortable shoes it it can make me feel like like properly and it's easy to go.

✓ My reason is that wearing comfortable shoes can make me feel comfortable and it's easy to walk.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and repetitive ('it it', 'like like'). The phrase 'feel like like properly' is unclear. The corrected sentence is clearer and grammatically correct.

× So I think I would definitely choose the useful.

✓ So I think I would definitely choose the comfortable ones.

The word 'useful' is not appropriate to describe shoes here. 'Comfortable ones' fits the context better.