Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer has some grammar and vocabulary errors and lacks clarity. Try to use correct verb tenses and singular/plural forms, and organize your ideas more clearly. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: I liked buying shoes a lot when I was a child. For example, I often bought popular models like Air Force One and Air Max 90. I enjoyed this because I love playing basketball and hanging out with my friends. Having new shoes made me feel happy and confident.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains informal language and some grammar mistakes. Use formal English and correct sentence structures. Also, clarify your points with linking words and avoid slang like 'gonna' and 'bashes'.

例: I usually buy shoes online because it is very convenient and faster than going to the mall. When shopping in stores, I have to find my size and wait in line to pay. Therefore, buying online saves me a lot of time and energy.

提案: Your answer is quite detailed but has some grammar errors and awkward phrasing. Use correct article usage and plural forms. Also, try to connect your ideas smoothly with linking words and avoid repetition.

例: I usually spend between 150 and 200 dollars on new shoes. Before buying, I carefully check the quality to ensure they are comfortable. This is important because I work in sales and stand for eight hours a day.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by using better grammar and linking words. Use correct tense and articles, and connect your ideas with words like 'however' or 'but' to show contrast.

例: When I was a teenager, I preferred fashionable shoes because I often went out with my friends and cared about my outfit. However, now that I work in sales and stand for eight hours a day, I prefer comfortable shoes.

× I do like bunches when I was a child, every shoes that they release, for example, Air Force One, Air Max 90, Air Max 60.

✓ I did like bunches when I was a child, every shoe that they released, for example, Air Force One, Air Max 90, Air Max 60.

The word 'shoes' is plural, but 'every' requires a singular noun, so 'every shoes' should be 'every shoe'. Also, 'bunches' is vague here; likely 'bunch' or 'a lot' is intended. Additionally, the tense should match the past context 'when I was a child', so 'do like' should be 'did like', and 'release' should be 'released'.

× I always buy it because it gives me satisfaction since I do love playing basketball, going outside with my friends.

✓ I always buy them because they give me satisfaction since I do love playing basketball, going outside with my friends.

The pronoun 'it' refers to a singular noun, but 'shoes' is plural, so 'it' should be 'them'. Also, 'gives' should agree with the plural subject 'shoes', so 'gives' should be 'give'.

× Usually buy shoes online because it's very convenient and very fast compared to going to mall.

✓ I usually buy shoes online because it's very convenient and very fast compared to going to the mall.

The sentence lacks a subject 'I' which is necessary. Also, 'going to mall' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'mall'.

× Usually buy shoes online because it's very convenient and very fast compared to going to mall.

✓ I usually buy shoes online because it's very convenient and very fast compared to going to the mall.

The noun 'mall' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific place, so 'going to mall' should be 'going to the mall'.

× You're gonna look for a size and you're gonna line up to pay for it.

✓ You have to look for a size and line up to pay for it.

The use of 'You're gonna' is informal and repetitive; using 'You have to' is clearer and more formal. Also, 'gonna' is a colloquial contraction and should be avoided in formal speech. However, this is more style than grammar error, so this correction is optional.

× Also, you're gonna save a lot of time and energy if you bashes online.

✓ Also, you'll save a lot of time and energy if you buy shoes online.

The word 'bashes' is incorrect; likely a mispronunciation or typo for 'buy shoes'. Also, 'you're gonna' should be 'you'll' for future tense. The verb 'buy' is needed here instead of 'bashes'.

× I do spend a lot of money buying a new shoes.

✓ I do spend a lot of money buying new shoes.

The phrase 'a new shoes' mixes singular article 'a' with plural noun 'shoes'. It should be either 'a new shoe' or 'new shoes' without 'a'.

× On average I spend 150 to 200.

✓ On average, I spend 150 to 200 dollars.

The sentence lacks the object of the amount spent; adding 'dollars' clarifies the meaning. Also, a comma after 'On average' improves readability.

× When I buy new shoes, I meticulously observe the quality of it before buying, making sure my feet won't hurt from starting for 8 hours since I do work in sales for 8 hours.

✓ When I buy new shoes, I meticulously observe their quality before buying, making sure my feet won't hurt from standing for 8 hours since I work in sales for 8 hours.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'shoes' which is plural, so 'their' is correct. 'Starting' is incorrect; the correct word is 'standing'. Also, 'since I do work' can be simplified to 'since I work'.

× In my teenage I prefer fashionable shoes since I always go out with my friends and spend time with them.

✓ In my teenage years, I preferred fashionable shoes since I always went out with my friends and spent time with them.

The phrase 'In my teenage' is incorrect; it should be 'In my teenage years'. Also, the past context requires past tense verbs: 'prefer' to 'preferred', 'go' to 'went', and 'spend' to 'spent'.

× Usually our outfit is a big deal but now I'm working in sales I prefer comfortable shoes since I stand for 8 hours.

✓ Usually, our outfits are a big deal, but now that I'm working in sales, I prefer comfortable shoes since I stand for 8 hours.

'Outfit' should be plural 'outfits' to agree with 'our'. Also, commas are needed for clarity, and 'but now I'm working' should be 'but now that I'm working' for correct conjunction use.