Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct verb forms and avoid filler words like 'uh' to make your answer more natural. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. For example, start by stating how often you buy shoes, then explain why, using linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: I usually buy new shoes every few months because I am a bicycle player. Therefore, I need to replace my shoes regularly to perform well during matches and training.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, be specific about your experience. For example, mention how buying online saves time and fits your busy schedule.

例: I usually buy shoes online because it is convenient and saves me a lot of time. Since I am a busy student with study and work commitments, shopping online helps me avoid going to physical stores.

提案: Be clear and concise with your price range and reasons. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to explain your opinion logically. For example, state your usual spending range, then explain why you think spending more is unnecessary.

例: I usually spend between 100 and 1000 on shoes because I believe this price range offers good comfort and support. Spending more than that seems unnecessary and a waste of money.

提案: Improve clarity by using correct grammar and avoiding filler words. Structure your answer with a clear preference and supporting reasons using linking words. For example, state your preference first, then explain why, and mention any exceptions.

例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes because they are practical and support my feet well. However, if I have more options, I would also consider fashionable shoes for special occasions.

× Well, personally, I always, uh, purchasing the new shoes.

✓ Well, personally, I am always purchasing new shoes.

The verb 'purchasing' needs an auxiliary verb 'am' to form the present continuous tense. Without 'am', the sentence is grammatically incorrect. Adding 'am' correctly forms 'I am always purchasing'. Also, 'the new shoes' is better as 'new shoes' here because it refers to shoes in general, not specific ones.

× Uh, the reason why because I am a bicycle players, so I should, uh, you know, continue to replace my shoes so that I can play well in the field and also the match.

✓ Uh, the reason is that I am a bicycle player, so I should, uh, you know, continue to replace my shoes so that I can play well on the field and also in matches.

The noun 'players' should be singular 'player' to agree with 'I am'. Also, 'the reason why because' is redundant; 'the reason is that' is correct. Prepositions 'in the field' and 'in matches' are more appropriate than 'on the field' and 'the match' for general statements.

× While I always bought shoes online, uh, the reason is just because it's convenient and also it saved my time, so I don't need to go to the offline shop, uh, to choose and also to spend like too much time as I also a student, uh, I was also quite busy with my uh, study and work, so it's a nice choice to.

✓ I always buy shoes online because it's convenient and also saves me time, so I don't need to go to offline shops to choose and spend too much time. As I am also a student, I am quite busy with my study and work, so it's a nice choice.

The phrase 'While I always bought' is incorrect because 'always' suggests present habit, so present tense 'buy' is correct. 'Saved my time' should be 'saves me time' to match present tense. 'Offline shop' should be plural 'offline shops' for general meaning. 'I was also quite busy' should be 'I am quite busy' to maintain present tense. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× Well, I would say 100 to 1000, I think that is a reasonable price, but above this number is unreasonable and, and I don't recommend anyone to do that because it's waste money.

✓ Well, I would say 100 to 1000 is a reasonable price range, but above this amount is unreasonable, and I don't recommend anyone to do that because it's a waste of money.

'100 to 1000' refers to a range and should be treated as singular with 'is'. 'Waste money' needs the article 'a' and preposition 'of' to form 'a waste of money'. The sentence is clarified for better grammar and meaning.

× The thing is, why the things, why we buy the shoes is just to make us comfortable and to provide the support for, uh, our shoes, our, our, our.

✓ The reason we buy shoes is just to make us comfortable and to provide support for our feet.

The original sentence is confusing and repetitive. 'The things, why we buy the shoes' is incorrect. It should be 'The reason we buy shoes'. Also, 'support for our shoes' is incorrect; support is provided for our feet, not shoes. The sentence is corrected for clarity and proper pronoun use.

× Well, if I should choose between 2:00, I definitely would choose the comfortable shoes because if it's a fashion shoes, then it's just thing.

✓ Well, if I should choose between two, I definitely would choose comfortable shoes because if they are fashion shoes, then they are just things.

'Between 2:00' is incorrect; it should be 'between two' (options). 'A fashion shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural; it should be 'fashion shoes' without 'a' or 'a fashion shoe' if singular. The sentence is corrected for number agreement and clarity.

× It's just the things that I can only watch not but not to, you know, use it as a real tools.

✓ They are just things that I can only look at but not use as real tools.

'Watch not but not to' is incorrect and awkward; 'only look at but not use' is clearer. 'Use it as a real tools' is incorrect because 'tools' is plural and 'it' is singular; pronouns must agree in number. Corrected to 'use as real tools' without 'it'.

× So I definitely would choose the comfortable shoes, but if I have more choice, then I also wanted to choose the fashion.

✓ So I definitely would choose comfortable shoes, but if I had more choices, then I would also want to choose fashion shoes.

'More choice' should be plural 'more choices'. 'Wanted' should be 'would want' to match the conditional mood. 'The fashion' is incomplete; 'fashion shoes' is clearer. The sentence is corrected for number agreement and verb tense consistency.