Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some repetition and grammatical errors. Try to give a clear and concise response directly addressing the question, avoid repeating phrases, and organize your ideas logically. Use linking words to connect your thoughts smoothly.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but I don't do it very often. I like to collect new styles when I find something interesting, but I usually prioritize other expenses, so I buy shoes only occasionally.

提案: Your answer is confusing and has grammatical mistakes. Try to answer directly and clearly, using proper sentence structure. Avoid repeating words unnecessarily and use linking words to explain your experience logically.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online twice. The first time, I thought it was convenient, but the shoes didn't fit well. Therefore, I stopped buying shoes online and now prefer shopping in physical stores.

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but could be clearer and more structured. Use linking words like 'usually' and 'however' to contrast your spending habits. Also, avoid filler words and be more precise in your explanation.

例: I usually spend between 30,000 and 40,000 MMK on shoes. However, for special occasions, I tend to spend more, around 60,000 to 80,000 MMK, to get better quality or fashionable shoes.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by avoiding filler words and making the sentences more concise. Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to contrast your preferences clearly.

例: I prefer both fashionable and comfortable shoes. For special occasions, I choose fashionable shoes to look stylish. However, when I hang out with friends or go to a restaurant, I prefer comfortable shoes for ease and relaxation.

× Although I really enjoy purchasing the new shoes and really want to collect them and whenever I see whenever I see the news when I don't usually bind them because I need to see many and I have many other things to purchase uh, for my living so I don't usually.

✓ Although I really enjoy purchasing new shoes and want to collect them, whenever I see new shoes in the news, I don't usually buy them because I need to see many and I have many other things to purchase for my living, so I don't usually.

The original sentence has repeated phrases and awkward structure, especially with 'whenever I see whenever I see the news when I don't usually bind them'. The verb 'bind' is incorrect here; it should be 'buy'. Also, the sentence needs to be broken down for clarity and correct use of present participle 'purchasing' is fine, but the sentence structure needs improvement for clarity.

× I wish she was online only twice and yeah in the first time I feel is worth buying shoes online nevertheless nevertheless Internet when it doesn't it didn't suit me.

✓ I have bought shoes online only twice, and the first time I felt it was worth buying shoes online; nevertheless, the internet didn't suit me.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'I wish she was online' instead of 'I have bought shoes online'. Also, 'I feel is worth' should be 'I felt it was worth'. The past tense 'felt' and 'didn't suit' are appropriate here. The sentence also has repeated words and unclear phrasing that needed correction.

× So I stopped purchasing shoes online and I started going to a offline store.

✓ So I stopped purchasing shoes online and started going to an offline store.

The article 'a' before 'offline' is incorrect because 'offline' starts with a vowel sound, so it should be 'an offline store'. Also, 'I started going' is fine, but 'I' can be omitted for smoother flow.

× Where it is uh between 30,000 and 40 thousands MMK yes, I don't usually spend my money on shoes.

✓ It is between 30,000 and 40,000 MMK. Yes, I don't usually spend much money on shoes.

The word 'thousands' should be singular 'thousand' when used with specific numbers like '40,000'. Also, 'Where it is' is incorrect; it should be 'It is'. The sentence is split for clarity.

× Nevertheless, when I have a special occasion, I usually spend around 60,000 to 80,000.

✓ Nevertheless, when I have a special occasion, I usually spend between 60,000 and 80,000.

The preposition 'around' is less precise when giving a range; 'between... and...' is the correct expression to indicate a range of amounts.

× Well, I prefer both. Yeah, I actually need them both because when I go to a special occasion, I need to wear the fashionable shoes.

✓ Well, I prefer both. Yeah, I actually need both because when I go to a special occasion, I need to wear fashionable shoes.

The phrase 'go to a special occasion' is incorrect; we usually say 'attend a special occasion'. Also, 'the fashionable shoes' is too specific; 'fashionable shoes' without 'the' is better here. The pronoun 'them' is unnecessary and can be omitted.

× Nevertheless, when I hang out with my friends or just going to a restaurant or someone, I will definitely choose comfortable shoes.

✓ Nevertheless, when I hang out with my friends or just go to a restaurant or somewhere, I will definitely choose comfortable shoes.

The phrase 'just going to a restaurant or someone' is incorrect. It should be parallel structure 'just go to a restaurant or somewhere'. 'Someone' is incorrect here; 'somewhere' is the correct word to indicate a place.