Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 다소 중복되고 문장이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 'two months once'와 같은 표현은 어색하며, 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하는 연습이 필요합니다. 또한, 구체적인 빈도와 이유를 명확히 표현하는 것이 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because there are many styles available for women. I usually buy new shoes every two months or when the seasons change.

提案: 답변이 반복적이고 문장 연결이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 'I prefer actually I prefer'와 같은 중복을 피하고, 온라인과 오프라인 구매의 차이점을 명확히 설명하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I prefer buying shoes in physical stores because I can try them on. However, I sometimes shop online for convenience.

提案: 숫자 표현이 혼란스럽고 문장이 완성되지 않았습니다. 금액을 명확히 말하고, 문장을 완성하여 자신의 소비 습관을 구체적으로 설명하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: It really depends, but on average, I spend about 30,000 won per month on shoes. I'm not very interested in buying many shoes, so I don't spend a lot.

提案: 답변이 다소 중복되고 문장 연결이 매끄럽지 않습니다. 이유를 명확히 하고, 문장을 간결하게 구성하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes because I work five days a week, often more than 12 hours a day. Therefore, comfort is very important to me.

× I like buying my shoes because there are so many kinds of shoes that women can put on.

✓ I like buying shoes because there are so many kinds of shoes that women can put on.

The phrase 'my shoes' is incorrect here because the speaker is talking about shoes in general, not their own specific shoes. Using 'shoes' without 'my' is appropriate when referring to shoes in general.

× So I buy them maybe like 2 months once, two months, once in a two months I guess, or when seasons change.

✓ So I buy them maybe once every two months, or when the seasons change.

The original sentence has incorrect plural and article usage with '2 months once' and 'in a two months'. The correct expression is 'once every two months'. Also, 'when seasons change' should be 'when the seasons change' to specify the particular seasons.

× I prefer actually I prefer to buy them offline in physical store.

✓ Actually, I prefer to buy them offline in a physical store.

The phrase 'in physical store' is missing the article 'a'. Also, the sentence structure is awkward; starting with 'Actually' and adding a comma improves clarity.

× But yeah sometimes I use online shop shopping malls as well when I buy my shoes.

✓ But yeah, sometimes I use online shopping malls as well when I buy shoes.

The phrase 'online shop shopping malls' is redundant and awkward. 'Online shopping malls' is sufficient. Also, 'my shoes' is unnecessary here when speaking generally.

× It it really depends but in average I think I spent about 3001 no 30,001 in a month I think.

✓ It really depends, but on average I think I spend about 30,000 a month.

The phrase 'in average' should be 'on average'. The number '3001 no 30,001' is unclear; assuming '30,000' is intended. Also, 'spent' should be 'spend' to match the present tense context.

× I'm not that interested in buying shoes so I'm not putting that much money to buy my.

✓ I'm not that interested in buying shoes, so I don't spend that much money on them.

The original sentence is incomplete and awkward. 'Putting that much money to buy my' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'spend that much money on them' referring to shoes.

× I obviously prefer comfortable shoes because I usually go to work in a week.

✓ I obviously prefer comfortable shoes because I usually go to work during the week.

The phrase 'in a week' is incorrect here; 'during the week' is the correct expression to indicate a habitual action within the week.

× So actually I work five days a week.

✓ Actually, I work five days a week.

Starting the sentence with 'So actually' is redundant. Removing 'So' improves sentence clarity.

× So when I work I I really want to put on a comfortable shoes.

✓ So when I work, I really want to wear comfortable shoes.

'Put on a comfortable shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural and 'a' is singular. Also, 'wear' is more natural than 'put on' in this context.

× I work more than 12 hours a day, so comfortable shoes is one of the most important.

✓ I work more than 12 hours a day, so comfortable shoes are one of the most important things.

'Comfortable shoes' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. Also, the sentence is incomplete; adding 'things' clarifies the meaning.