Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because they are an important part of clothing that can enhance one's appearance. When you wear a nice pair, people often notice and admire them, making shoes a key element in men's fashion.

提案: Focus on clarity and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'because' and 'therefore' to connect your ideas logically. Also, try to be more specific about your experience to make your answer more effective.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online several times, but I did not have a good experience because I couldn't check the size and comfort in person. Therefore, I find it difficult to trust online shoe purchases and prefer buying them in stores.

提案: Avoid repeating the same ideas and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your points and provide specific reasons for your spending habits.

例: I usually spend quite a lot of money on shoes because I prefer expensive and stylish ones. This is because wearing such shoes boosts my confidence and makes me feel more fashionable.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve fluency by using varied vocabulary and linking words. Provide a clear topic sentence followed by specific reasons and examples.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they allow me to work longer and more easily without discomfort. For example, when doing sports or going to the gym, wearing comfortable shoes is essential for better performance.

× If you're wearing nice pair of shoes, every people will see and they'll admire you and and choose at the most attractive part in the men's outfit.

✓ If you're wearing a nice pair of shoes, every person will see and they'll admire you and choose the most attractive part in the men's outfit.

The phrase 'nice pair of shoes' requires the article 'a' before 'nice pair'. Also, 'every people' is incorrect because 'people' is plural; the correct singular form is 'every person'. The sentence also had an extra 'and' which was removed for clarity.

× when when you don't see the size and comfort in person, you can see it then online shoes, it is never easy to it is never easy to trust on them.

✓ When you don't see the size and comfort in person, you can't see it online; shoes are never easy to trust.

The sentence had redundancy and unclear structure. 'Online shoes' should be rephrased for clarity. Also, 'trust on them' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'trust them'. The sentence was restructured to improve clarity and grammar.

× every people will see and they'll admire you and and choose at the most attractive part in the men's outfit.

✓ Every person will see and they'll admire you and choose the most attractive part in the men's outfit.

'Every people' is incorrect because 'people' is plural; the singular form 'every person' is correct here.

× you feels very confident and stylish.

✓ you feel very confident and stylish.

'You' always takes the base form of the verb without 's'. Therefore, 'feels' should be 'feel' when used with 'you'.

× it is never easy to trust on them.

✓ it is never easy to trust them.

'Trust' is a transitive verb and does not require the preposition 'on'. The correct form is 'trust them'.