Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan gunakan kalimat yang lebih alami serta jelas. Hindari kesalahan seperti 'I don't really often to buy shoes' dan gunakan kalimat yang lebih tepat seperti 'I don't often buy shoes'.

例: I don't often buy shoes because I need to save money, but I sometimes buy them on special occasions like my birthday.

提案: Perbaiki struktur kalimat dan gunakan kata penghubung yang tepat agar jawaban lebih koheren. Hindari kalimat yang terputus dan gunakan kalimat lengkap.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online because it is usually cheaper than buying in stores, and I find it more convenient.

提案: Gunakan kalimat yang lebih jelas dan tata bahasa yang benar. Jelaskan jumlah uang dengan cara yang tepat dan hindari kalimat yang membingungkan.

例: I usually spend less than 500 rupiahs on shoes because I prefer to save money and avoid spending too much on them.

提案: Perbaiki penggunaan kata dan tata bahasa. Gunakan kata yang tepat seperti 'feet' bukan 'face', dan buat kalimat yang jelas dan logis.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they are better for my feet, especially when I have to walk or stand for a long time. Although fashionable shoes look good, they are not always comfortable for me.

× I don't really often to buy shoes because I need to save my money, but sometimes I celebrate a occasion like my birthday.

✓ I don't really often buy shoes because I need to save my money, but sometimes I celebrate an occasion like my birthday.

The phrase 'don't really often to buy' is incorrect because 'often' is an adverb and should not be followed by 'to' plus a verb. The correct form is 'often buy'. Also, 'a occasion' is incorrect because 'occasion' starts with a vowel sound, so it should be 'an occasion'.

× I don't really often to buy shoes because I need to save my money, but sometimes I celebrate a occasion like my birthday.

✓ I don't really often buy shoes because I need to save my money, but sometimes I celebrate an occasion like my birthday.

The article 'a' is used before words that begin with a consonant sound. Since 'occasion' begins with a vowel sound, the correct article is 'an'.

× Yes, I have both my shoes. Buy online because sometimes it is usually cheaper than offline so I prefer to buy something via online and then that's easier.

✓ Yes, I have bought my shoes online because sometimes it is usually cheaper than offline, so I prefer to buy things online as it is easier.

The original sentence has fragmented structure and incorrect verb forms. 'Have both my shoes' is incomplete; it should be 'have bought my shoes'. 'Buy online' is a fragment and should be connected properly. 'Via online' is incorrect; 'online' alone suffices. The sentence is corrected for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Yes, I have both my shoes. Buy online because sometimes it is usually cheaper than offline so I prefer to buy something via online and then that's easier.

✓ Yes, I have bought my shoes online because sometimes it is usually cheaper than offline, so I prefer to buy things online as it is easier.

The phrase 'via online' is incorrect because 'online' is an adverb and does not require a preposition like 'via'. The correct usage is simply 'buy things online'.

× I usually use when my money less than 500 rupiah on shoes because I prefer to save my money and I don't want to over to spend my money to buy shoes or something like that.

✓ I usually spend less than 500 rupiah on shoes because I prefer to save my money and I don't want to overspend on shoes or something like that.

The original sentence has incorrect verb usage and awkward phrasing. 'I usually use when my money less than 500 rupiah on shoes' is incorrect. The correct form is 'I usually spend less than 500 rupiah on shoes'. 'Over to spend' should be 'overspend'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I prefer comfortable shoes, however they are better for my face especially when I walk and stand for a long time.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they are better for my feet, especially when I walk and stand for a long time.

The conjunction 'however' is incorrectly used here; 'because' is appropriate to show reason. Also, 'face' is incorrect in this context; it should be 'feet'.

× I prefer comfortable shoes, however they are better for my face especially when I walk and stand for a long time.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they are better for my feet, especially when I walk and stand for a long time.

The word 'face' is a pronoun error; the correct body part related to shoes is 'feet'.

× Although questionable shoes is good but sometimes it's not good for my.

✓ Although fashionable shoes are good, sometimes they are not good for me.

The phrase 'questionable shoes' is likely a mistranslation or misuse; 'fashionable shoes' fits the context. The sentence structure is incorrect with 'Although... but'; only one conjunction is needed. Also, 'it's not good for my' is incomplete; it should be 'not good for me'.