Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding repetition and improving sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide specific reasons for your preference.

例: Yes, I like buying shoes, especially sneakers. They are comfortable and easy to wear, which suits my hobby of walking a lot.

提案: Clarify your answer by using correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Avoid redundancy and explain your experience clearly with linking words.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online, particularly Adidas Stan Smiths. I checked my size carefully before purchasing, and I really love them.

提案: Improve clarity by structuring your sentences better and avoiding repetition. Use linking words to explain your reasons for spending that amount and focus on comfort and appearance.

例: I usually spend between $100 and $240 on shoes because comfort and appearance are the most important factors for me.

提案: Make your answer more fluent by using correct grammar and linking words. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons.

例: To be honest, I like both fashionable and comfortable shoes, but comfort is more important to me because I enjoy walking a lot.

× Yes I do, there are many types of shoes in this world but I prefer the sneakers.

✓ Yes, I do. There are many types of shoes in this world, but I prefer sneakers.

The use of 'the' before 'sneakers' is incorrect here because 'sneakers' is a general category, not a specific pair. Also, a comma is needed after 'Yes' and the sentence should be split for clarity.

× It's very easy comfort, easy to wear and comfort.

✓ They are very comfortable, easy to wear, and comfortable.

The phrase 'easy comfort' is incorrect; 'comfortable' is the correct adjective. Also, 'It's' should be 'They are' to agree with plural 'sneakers'. Repetition of 'comfort' is unnecessary.

× I can walk around.

✓ I can walk around easily.

Adding 'easily' clarifies the meaning and improves sentence flow.

× My hobby is walking so I love it.

✓ My hobby is walking, so I love them.

A comma is needed before 'so' to separate clauses. Also, 'it' should be 'them' to refer to 'sneakers' (plural).

× Yes, I have especially added Adidas which is my favorite sports plan.

✓ Yes, I have, especially Adidas, which is my favorite sports brand.

'Added Adidas' is incorrect; likely intended 'added' as 'bought' or 'chosen'. 'Sports plan' should be 'sports brand'. Commas improve clarity.

× I bought the Stan Smith by by checking my size which I already have then I love them.

✓ I bought the Stan Smith by checking my size, which I already know, and I love them.

Repeated 'by' is a typo. 'Which I already have' is unclear; 'which I already know' fits better. Adding commas and conjunction improves sentence flow.

× Usually from $100 to 240 because I my most important things for me to just choose is how comfortable it is or how look it is.

✓ Usually from $100 to $240 because the most important thing for me when choosing is how comfortable it is or how it looks.

Missing dollar sign before 240. 'My most important things for me to just choose' is awkward; corrected to 'the most important thing for me when choosing'. 'How look it is' is incorrect; corrected to 'how it looks'.

× Look nice it is.

✓ It looks nice.

Incorrect word order; 'Look nice it is' should be 'It looks nice'.

× To be honest I like both type of shoes but most important part is how comfortable it is they are.

✓ To be honest, I like both types of shoes, but the most important part is how comfortable they are.

'Both type' should be 'both types' (plural). 'How comfortable it is they are' is incorrect; corrected to 'how comfortable they are'.

× Because my hobby is walking I want to walk around so I prefer comfortable.

✓ Because my hobby is walking and I want to walk around, I prefer comfortable shoes.

Sentence run-on and missing conjunctions. Added 'and' and rephrased for clarity. 'Prefer comfortable' is incomplete; specify 'comfortable shoes'.