Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer clearer and more grammatically correct. Use singular or plural forms correctly and avoid mixing pronouns. Also, keep your answer concise and directly related to the question. For example, mention how often you buy shoes and why you like them, without adding unrelated details.

例: Yes, I like buying shoes because they enhance my personality and boost my confidence. I usually buy a new pair almost every month since I enjoy collecting different styles.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repeated words. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Also, correct grammar and sentence flow will improve clarity.

例: Yes, I often buy shoes online because I don't have much time to shop in stores. For instance, last month I purchased a pair of heels from Aldo after reading positive reviews, and they fit perfectly when I received them.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and filler words. Provide a clear and concise answer with specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually spend around 150 dollars each month on shoes because I love collecting brands like Jordans, Nike, and Adidas. I consider myself passionate about shoes, so I don't mind investing in quality pairs.

提案: Reduce filler words and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to explain your preference clearly and provide specific examples.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot during the day. For example, I usually wear Skechers at work since they are very comfortable, even though I occasionally wear fashionable shoes.

× Yes, I like to buy shoes because it have to enhance her personality and grow her confidence and every month almost high by pair of shoes because I love the collection of shoes as well as I love to collect the perfumes as well.

✓ Yes, I like to buy shoes because they have to enhance my personality and grow my confidence, and almost every month I buy a pair of shoes because I love the collection of shoes as well as perfumes.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'it have' instead of 'they have' to refer to 'shoes', which is plural. Also, 'her' is incorrect as the speaker refers to themselves, so 'my' is appropriate. The phrase 'every month almost high by pair of shoes' is unclear and corrected to 'almost every month I buy a pair of shoes' to make sense and correct plural usage.

× Yes, I also love shopping online and mostly I, I, I don't have time, so I prefer to buy shoes online. Uh, last month I also bought my new heel from Aldo and also we can read the reviews. So it was a great experience and we get so when I get at home, so it's a perfect fit fit.

✓ Yes, I also love shopping online and mostly I don't have time, so I prefer to buy shoes online. Last month, I bought new heels from Aldo and I could read the reviews. It was a great experience and when I got home, they fit perfectly.

The sentence had tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. 'Bought my new heel' is corrected to 'bought new heels' to match plural usage and natural expression. 'We can read the reviews' is changed to 'I could read the reviews' to match past tense and subject. 'When I get at home' is corrected to 'when I got home' for past tense. 'It's a perfect fit fit' is corrected to 'they fit perfectly' for clarity and grammar.

× Actually, I'm crazy regarding the shoes, so I spent a lot of money on the shoes. I already said uh, I spend a pair every pair of shoes every month, so it's around 150. So mostly I like to buy uh expensive shoes like a Jordans, Nike, Adidas.

✓ Actually, I'm crazy about shoes, so I spend a lot of money on them. I already said, I buy a pair of shoes every month, so it's around 150. Mostly, I like to buy expensive shoes like Jordans, Nike, and Adidas.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'I spent' (past tense) instead of 'I spend' (present tense) to match habitual action. 'I spend a pair every pair of shoes' is incorrect and corrected to 'I buy a pair of shoes every month'. 'A Jordans' is incorrect because 'Jordans' is plural and does not need 'a'. Also, 'regarding the shoes' is better expressed as 'crazy about shoes'.

× Mostly I prefer comfortable shoes because, uh, I walk a lot. So that's why it's, uh, it's hard for me to wearing like, uh, uncomfortable, uh, wearing fashionable shoes. So move at my work, I wear Skechers shoes which are really comfortable. So on the daily basis I'm wearing a comfortable occasionally.

✓ Mostly, I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot. That's why it's hard for me to wear uncomfortable fashionable shoes. So, at my work, I wear Skechers shoes which are really comfortable. On a daily basis, I wear comfortable shoes occasionally.

The phrase 'it's hard for me to wearing' is incorrect; after 'to' the base form of the verb 'wear' should be used, not the '-ing' form. 'Move at my work' is unclear and corrected to 'at my work'. 'I'm wearing a comfortable occasionally' is awkward and corrected to 'I wear comfortable shoes occasionally' for clarity and correct verb form.