Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to start your answer with a clear topic sentence directly addressing the question. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and incomplete sentences. Also, keep your answer concise within 5 sentences and ensure it is grammatically correct and natural.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and usually purchase new pairs every few months. I especially like shopping during sales or when I need comfortable shoes for work or casual outings. Buying shoes has become a hobby for me as it allows me to express my personality.

提案: Make sure your sentences are grammatically correct and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, be specific about your experience and avoid vague phrases like 'I think'.

例: Yes, I have bought many shoes online recently. Thanks to online shopping, it is very convenient to get shoes delivered to my home with just one click. Moreover, online stores offer a wider variety and the latest styles compared to physical shops.

提案: Avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Structure your answer clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details. Also, clarify your reasoning and use correct grammar for better clarity.

例: I usually spend less than 2000 rupees on a pair of shoes because I buy them frequently. Since I need to replace them every month, I prefer affordable options rather than expensive ones.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and complete your thoughts. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, give specific examples to support your preference.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes for casual work and outings because I need to be on my feet for long periods. However, for official events like office parties, I choose fashionable shoes to look more formal and stylish.

× Is I often buy shoes just to uh, I think it become my hobby to get new and new variety of shoes every few months, especially when there's a sale or when I need something comfortable for work or casual outings.

✓ I often buy shoes just to uh, I think it has become my hobby to get new and new varieties of shoes every few months, especially when there's a sale or when I need something comfortable for work or casual outings.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'Is I' instead of 'I'. Also, 'it become' should be 'it has become' to indicate present perfect tense. 'Variety' should be plural 'varieties' because it refers to multiple types of shoes. The pronoun usage and verb forms need correction to maintain grammatical accuracy.

× Yes, I have by I have bought many shoes online today.

✓ Yes, I have bought many shoes online today.

The phrase 'I have by I have bought' is incorrect and redundant. The correct form is 'I have bought' to indicate present perfect tense. Removing 'by' corrects the sentence structure.

× With the advent of online marketing, it become easy to uh get everything delivered to the home just with one click and there are often more varieties and I think we can get the latest.

✓ With the advent of online marketing, it has become easy to uh get everything delivered to the home just with one click and there are often more varieties and I think we can get the latest.

The verb 'become' should be in present perfect tense 'has become' to indicate a change that has occurred up to now. This maintains correct tense agreement in the sentence.

× I am uh, I'm not a spendthrift so, and because I have to buy them often buy the shoes often, so that's why I don't spend too much money on a pair of shoes.

✓ I am uh, I'm not a spendthrift, and because I have to buy shoes often, that's why I don't spend too much money on a pair of shoes.

The phrase 'buy them often buy the shoes often' is redundant and incorrect. Removing the repeated phrase and correcting pronoun usage improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I usually buy under rupees 2000 shoes and because I think I have to change them every month.

✓ I usually buy shoes under rupees 2000 because I think I have to change them every month.

The placement of 'under rupees 2000' is awkward. Moving it after 'buy shoes' clarifies the meaning. Also, 'shoes' is plural and correctly used here.

× It depends upon the situation that where I have to wear them, if I have to wear them for my casual work and outings, I like to have some comfortable shoes and if there is something official, for example, my office party and there I have to get up, get dressed.

✓ It depends on the situation where I have to wear them. If I have to wear them for my casual work and outings, I like to have some comfortable shoes. If there is something official, for example, my office party, I have to get up and get dressed.

The original sentence is a run-on and confusing. Breaking it into shorter sentences and correcting prepositions ('depends on' instead of 'depends upon') improves clarity and grammatical correctness.