Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сократите повторения и уберите запинки; начинайте с прямого утверждения, затем добавьте одну-две конкретные детали о частоте и с кем вы ходите. Используйте связки (for example, and, because) чтобы ответ был логичным и коротким. Ограничьте ответ 2–4 предложениями.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but only occasionally. I usually go shopping with close friends about once a month, and we like trying different styles together because it’s a social activity for us.

提案: Уберите многократные повторения и грамматические ошибки; сформулируйте причину чётко и завершите мысль. Используйте связки (because, so) и приведите один конкретный пример проблемы с покупкой онлайн. Держите 2–3 предложения.

例: No, I have never bought shoes online because I prefer to try them on first. For example, sizes and fit can vary between brands, so I like to check comfort and material in person before I buy.

提案: Упростите начало и избегайте лишних фраз; начните с суммы, затем объясните причину покупки в 1–2 предложениях. Используйте конкретные детали о том, на что тратится бюджет (материал, удобство). Не более 3 предложений.

例: I usually spend between $50 and $100 on a pair of shoes. I’m willing to pay this because I always check the material and construction to ensure they are durable and comfortable.

提案: Ответ хороший по содержанию, но сократите повторения и уберите заполнители «uh». Дайте одно обобщающее предложение и одно конкретное объяснение (например, тип материала или пример использования). Используйте связку therefore/so для логики. Максимум 2–3 предложения.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because durability and support matter most to me. Therefore, I always inspect the sole and material—like leather or breathable mesh—so they will be wearable across different seasons.

× Yes, occasionally, uh, I'm really into buying shoes because it's very interesting and it's very interesting for me and I and my beloved friends, uh, in, in common hours, I and my beloved friends, we go to the, uh, shopping for buying shoes and it is very interesting for me and.

✓ Yes, occasionally. I'm really into buying shoes because I find it interesting. My friends and I often go shopping for shoes together.

The original contains run-on sentences, repetition, and incorrect word order ('in common hours', 'for buying shoes'). This is a sentence structure error. Suggestions: split into shorter sentences, remove repetitions, use natural phrases like 'My friends and I often go shopping' and 'I find it interesting'. Use subject+verb order and avoid filler words like 'uh'.

× No, I never bought shoes online because without touching, without wearing it, you cannot feel it, You cannot, you cannot know the size of it and to and I prefer to buying shoes offline because it's.

✓ No, I have never bought shoes online because without touching or trying them on you cannot tell the fit, and I prefer buying shoes in stores.

The original mixes past simple with general statements and uses incorrect infinitive form 'to buying'. This is a modal/verb usage and tense issue: use present perfect 'have never bought' for life experience and correct verb form 'prefer buying'. Suggestions: use 'trying them on' and 'you cannot tell the fit' for clarity, and avoid repeating 'you cannot'.

× In coming hours, my beloved friends and I pay a visit to the store, Uh, and I, uh, I spent uh, between $50 and $100 because, uh, at first, uh, I will check the material of it, the quality of it, uh, because the quality of shoes is very important for me.

✓ These days, my friends and I visit stores, and I usually spend between $50 and $100 because I first check the material and the quality of the shoes.

Original mixes future 'In coming hours' and past 'I spent' incorrectly and uses awkward phrasing 'my beloved friends'. This is a tense and sentence structure problem. Suggestions: use present simple 'visit' and 'usually spend' for habitual actions, and 'I first check the material and quality' for sequence.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because uh, comfort and durability are important to me. Uh, therefore, uh, I check the material and the sole before I buy because, uh, the material of shoes is very important and crucial for me to wearing it in every season.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because comfort and durability are important to me. Therefore, I check the material and the sole before I buy because the shoe material is important for wearing them in any season.

The sentence had awkward adjective/noun choices and incorrect verb form 'to wearing it'. This is an adjective/adverb and verb form issue. Suggestions: use 'shoe material' or 'the material of the shoes' and correct verb construction 'for wearing them' or better 'so I can wear them in any season'. Remove fillers like 'uh' and redundant words 'very important and crucial'.