Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and direct: start with a topic sentence that answers the question, avoid repetition and filler words, and use correct vocabulary (shoes vs suits). Give a short frequency phrase and one supporting detail with a linking word. Keep it within 2–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I like buying shoes. I usually buy one or two pairs a year for special occasions because I like having something appropriate for meetings and parties.

提案: Answer directly and use correct nouns (shoes not suit). Provide a brief example with a clear time reference and a linking word to connect ideas. Reduce hesitations and keep sentences concise and natural.

例: Yes, I often buy shoes online. For example, last year I bought a casual pair of Nike shoes from a website, and I still wear them regularly.

提案: Start with a clear general statement about typical spending, then give a specific price as an example. Use correct vocabulary (shoes) and avoid repeating phrases. Use a linking word (for example) before the specific amount.

例: My spending varies, but I usually choose affordable shoes for everyday wear. For example, I often buy casual shoes that cost around ₹1,000 when I need something for a party or casual event.

提案: Give a direct preference sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words (because, for example). Avoid repetition and filler words; use correct grammar (e.g., 'comfortable shoes help me reduce pain'). Provide one clear example of a situation to support your opinion.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they reduce foot pain and let me stand or walk for long periods. For example, fashionable high heels often hurt my feet, so I always choose comfortable sneakers for long days.

× I have many suits and uh, I love such very much.

✓ I have many suits and I love them very much.

The phrase 'such very much' is incorrect when referring back to a plural noun. Use the pronoun 'them' to refer to 'suits' and place 'very much' after it. Suggestion: replace 'such' with 'them' and remove filler words.

× Whenever there is any occasion or any, uh, special function, I buy a different types of shoes and uh, I attend the meeting.

✓ Whenever there is an occasion or a special function, I buy different types of shoes and I attend the meeting.

'Any occasion' is acceptable but 'a different types of shoes' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'types'. Use 'an occasion' or 'a special function' and 'different types of shoes' without 'a'. Also remove filler 'any, uh'.

× So I think, uh, one or two shoes I buy in the one year.

✓ So I think I buy one or two pairs of shoes in a year.

The original mixes word order and number. Use present simple for habitual action: 'I buy'. 'Shoes' should be counted as 'pairs of shoes' when giving a number. Use 'in a year' instead of 'in the one year'.

× Yeah, of course I have bought many time suit from the online sites.

✓ Yes, of course I have bought suits from online sites many times.

'Many time suit' is incorrect word order and singular/plural mismatch. Use plural 'suits' or 'a suit' and place 'many times' after the verb. Also 'online sites' or 'online stores' is preferable.

× I remember last year I bought a Nike suit, it was casual suit and still now I have that suit.

✓ I remember last year I bought a Nike suit; it was a casual suit and I still have it now.

Add article 'a' before 'casual suit', use semicolon or separate clauses to avoid comma splice, and 'still now I have that suit' is awkward — use 'I still have it now'. Maintain past simple 'bought' for the event and present simple 'have' for current possession.

× It's depend on the situations as well as, uh, depend on my limit of my money to spend on a different type of search.

✓ It depends on the situation as well as on my budget for buying different types of shoes.

Use third person singular 'depends' for 'it'. 'Situations' is better singular 'situation' in this context or rephrase. 'Limit of my money' is awkward; use 'my budget'. 'Different type of search' is incorrect; likely 'different types of shoes'.

× Whenever, uh, there's any occasion party, I always buy a casual suit, which is not too much expensive.

✓ Whenever there is a party or occasion, I always buy a casual suit, which is not too expensive.

Use 'a party or occasion' or 'an occasion or party'. 'Not too much expensive' is incorrect; use 'not too expensive'. Avoid redundant 'any' with 'occasion party'.

× It's just around ₹1000 in India, so I buy it.

✓ It costs just around ₹1000 in India, so I buy it.

'It's just around ₹1000' is acceptable colloquially, but clearer to say 'It costs around ₹1000'. 'So I buy it' is fine but ensure subject refers to the shoe.

× I prefer to wear a comfortable shoes because, uh, it's helped me to reduce the pain and, uh, help me to walk and, uh, to stand for a long period.

✓ I prefer to wear comfortable shoes because they help reduce pain and help me walk and stand for long periods.

Do not mix singular article 'a' with plural 'shoes' — remove 'a'. Use present simple 'help' for general truth rather than 'it's helped me'. Use plural 'they' to refer to 'shoes'. Use 'for long periods' rather than 'for a long period'.

× For example, whenever I, we, we are, uh, like fashionable suits.

✓ For example, whenever I wear fashionable shoes,

The original is fragmented and unclear. Likely meaning is 'whenever I wear fashionable shoes'. Remove repetitions and replace 'suits' (clothing) with 'shoes' to match context.

× Uh, it's pain on my feet and, uh, it, I feel irritated.

✓ They cause pain in my feet and I feel irritated.

'It's pain' is incorrect; use 'they cause pain' referring to shoes (plural). Use 'pain in my feet' rather than 'pain on my feet'. 'I feel irritated' is fine but combine smoothly.

× So I, uh, I wear always.

✓ So I always wear them.

Word order: adverb 'always' usually goes before the main verb in simple present when there's an auxiliary; with no auxiliary it goes before the main verb. Use direct object 'them' to refer to comfortable shoes. Maintain present simple for habitual action.