Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words (uh, like). Pay attention to grammar: use correct verb forms and singular/plural nouns (e.g., "I don't often buy shoes; I have two or three pairs").

例: I don't buy shoes very often. I only own two or three pairs that I wear regularly, because I prefer spending money on traditional clothes instead. Therefore, I usually only replace shoes when the old ones are worn out.

提案: Start with a clear affirmative statement, then give a brief, specific story. Use linking words (for example, because, so, then) and correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., "a pair of shoes", "uncomfortable"). Avoid repeating the same adjective and improve chronological clarity.

例: Yes, I have. For example, in 2021 after I moved from India to Canada, I bought a pair of shoes online from Shein. However, they were uncomfortable when I tried them on, so I ended up giving them to a friend.

提案: Answer directly with an estimate, then explain briefly why. Use numbers or price ranges if possible and avoid repeating previous points. Use clear linking words (for instance, because, so) and correct grammar.

例: I usually spend very little on shoes — roughly $50–$80 per pair. Because I own only two or three pairs and I prefer buying traditional clothes, I choose affordable but durable shoes.

提案: Start with a clear preference sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Avoid unclear phrases and pronunciation-like spellings in writing (e.g., "cash neighbor shows"). Use concise phrases and correct grammar.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I travel a lot and need to walk long distances. Therefore, comfort is more important to me than fashion; however, if I'm attending a special event, I might choose stylish shoes to match my outfit.

× To be honest, I do not prefer to like buying shoes.

✓ To be honest, I do not like buying shoes.

The original sentence uses redundant verbs 'prefer to like' which is incorrect. Use a single verb phrase: 'do not like' to express dislike. This fits present tense preference. (ID 26: Sentence structure errors; ID 6: Present tense issue.)

× Uh, I have used two to three pairs of shoes at my home, but I usually prefer want to buy a new dresses, uh, like a traditional dresses, which I really liked, but not my spend my much money, spend my a lot of money.

✓ I have two or three pairs of shoes at home, but I usually prefer to buy new clothes, like traditional dresses, which I really like, but I do not spend a lot of money on them.

Problems: incorrect verb 'have used' (should be 'have' for possession), awkward quantifier 'two to three' better as 'two or three', incorrect 'prefer want to buy'—choose one verb (prefer to buy), wrong plural 'a new dresses' should be 'new clothes' or 'a new dress', tense consistency 'which I really liked' should be 'I really like', and incorrect phrase 'not my spend my much money' fixed to 'do not spend a lot of money on them'. Suggestions: simplify verb choices, use correct plural/singular forms, maintain present tense for general preferences. (ID 1: Singular and plural issue; ID 26: Sentence structure errors; ID 14: Incorrect use of quantifiers; ID 6: Present tense issue.)

× Yes, I still remember in 2021 when I usually came from India to Canada.

✓ Yes, I still remember in 2021 when I came from India to Canada.

Remove 'usually' because it conflicts with the specific past event; use simple past 'came' which is correct. Keep time marker 'in 2021' with past tense. (ID 5: Past tense issue; ID 26: Sentence structure errors.)

× That time I bought a shoes online through Sheen and it was very uncomfort when I just wore that shoes.

✓ At that time I bought shoes online from Shein and they were very uncomfortable when I first wore them.

Use 'At that time' for past reference; 'bought a shoes' incorrect—use plural 'shoes' without 'a'; brand spelling 'Shein'; 'it was very uncomfort' should be 'they were very uncomfortable'; 'just wore that shoes' better as 'first wore them'. Ensure subject-verb agreement with plural 'shoes' -> 'they were'. (ID 1: Singular and plural issue; ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs; ID 27: Subject-verb agreement errors.)

× It was very uncomfortable. Then I just gave that shoes to my friend.

✓ They were very uncomfortable, so I gave the shoes to my friend.

Maintain plural agreement ('they were') and use 'the shoes' or 'them' for pronoun. Combine sentences for clarity: cause and effect with 'so'. (ID 1: Singular and plural issue; ID 27: Subject-verb agreement errors; ID 26: Sentence structure errors.)

× As earlier I said, I do not prefer to want spend much money on shoes.

✓ As I said earlier, I do not want to spend much money on shoes.

Correct word order 'As I said earlier'; choose one verb construction 'do not want to spend' not 'prefer to want spend'; add 'to' before 'spend'. Maintain present tense for general preference. (ID 26: Sentence structure errors; ID 8: Verb + -ing form.)

× Uh, I have a really great and traditional suits, traditional dresses.

✓ I have some really great traditional suits and dresses.

Don't mix singular article 'a' with plural 'suits'; use 'some' for plural countable nouns. Use parallel structure 'suits and dresses' and remove repetitive 'traditional'. (ID 1: Singular and plural issue; ID 22: Article errors; ID 18: Incorrect order of adjectives.)

× I have just two to three pairs of shoes at my home.

✓ I have just two or three pairs of shoes at home.

Use 'two or three' instead of 'two to three' for spoken preference; 'at home' is natural without 'my home'. Keep simple present for possession. (ID 14: Incorrect use of quantifiers; ID 26: Sentence structure errors.)

× From my perspective, I usually prefer comfortable shoes because I I'm a travel holiday person.

✓ From my perspective, I usually prefer comfortable shoes because I'm a traveler and like holidays.

Remove duplicated 'I' and use 'a traveler' or 'I like holidays' instead of 'a travel holiday person'. Use concise noun 'traveler'. (ID 12: Incorrect use of pronouns; ID 26: Sentence structure errors.)

× I love to explore new places in my life.

✓ I love exploring new places in my life.

Use gerund 'exploring' after 'love' in general statements; 'in my life' is optional but acceptable. Maintain present tense for habitual preference. (ID 8: Verb + -ing form; ID 6: Present tense issue.)

× So from my perspective, comfortable shoes are very important. We can easily walk, we can easily run.

✓ So from my perspective, comfortable shoes are very important. We can walk and run easily in them.

Combine verbs into one sentence with parallel structure and place adverb 'easily' after the verbs or at the end. Add 'in them' to refer to shoes for clarity. (ID 20: Incorrect adverb placement; ID 26: Sentence structure errors.)

× But if I choose cash neighbor shows it just dash. It's just have to show my outfit trend.

✓ But if I choose fashionable shoes, it's just to show my outfit or follow a trend.

Original contains unintelligible phrases 'cash neighbor shows it just dash'. Replace with 'fashionable shoes'. Use 'it's just to show my outfit' or 'to follow a trend'. Correct 'It's just have to show' to 'it's just to show'. Ensure infinitive 'to show' after 'just'. (ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs; ID 26: Sentence structure errors.)