Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Direktheit verbessern und Grammatikfehler korrigieren; Sätze kürzer und natürlicher machen, Redundanzen vermeiden. Achte auf Subjekt-Verb-Kongruenz (z. B. "this make me" → "this makes me"), richtige Wortformen ("match to my outfit" → "that match my outfit") und klare Struktur: ein Thema-Satz + ein bis zwei unterstützende Details. Verwende Verbindungswörter sparsam (for example, but) und vermeide überflüssige Wiederholungen.

例: Yes, I like buying shoes, though not very often. I usually buy new shoes about once a year. For different occasions I choose different styles: high heels for parties because they make me feel elegant, and sneakers for sports because they are comfortable and match my outfit.

提案: Verwende natürlichere Formulierungen und korrigiere Wortwahl und Artikelgebrauch (z. B. "possess" → "own", "from online shop" → "from online shops"). Ergänze ein konkretes Detail oder ein Beispiel, um die Antwort spezifischer zu machen. Bleibe dabei kurz: Thema-Satz + ein unterstützender Satz mit Verbindung.

例: Yes, most of the shoes I own were bought online. I prefer shopping online because there is a much wider range of styles and sizes, for example I can easily find niche brands that local stores don't carry.

提案: Korrigiere Grammatik und Logikfehler; formuliere klarere Gründe und vermeide umgangssprachliche Verkürzungen (z. B. "gonna"). Der Satz "You can wear them forever" widerspricht dem vorherigen Gedanken — kläre die Aussage. Strukturiere: klare Zahl als Thema-Satz, dann ein Grund und ein kurzes Beispiel.

例: I usually spend less than €100 on a pair of shoes. I prefer affordable options because shoes tend to wear out after regular use, so I don't like spending too much on styles I might only wear occasionally.

提案: Achte auf Grammatik und Präzision: ersetze Umgangssprache ("gonna") durch formellere Ausdrücke und korrigiere Fehler ("wear the in in" → "wear them in"); verbessere Satzbau und füge ein konkretes Beispiel oder Vergleich hinzu. Aufbau: klare Präferenz + Grund + kurzes Beispiel oder Vergleich.

例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes such as sneakers because I wear them much more often in daily life. For example, I choose sneakers for commuting and errands, while fashionable shoes are reserved for parties or formal events.

× I love to wear different shoes to a different occasion.

✓ I love to wear different shoes on different occasions.

The preposition 'on' is used with occasions and days; 'to' is incorrect here. Also use plural 'occasions' to match 'different'. Suggestion: say 'on different occasions' to be natural.

× if I'm going to a party I would wear high heels because this make me feel elegant.

✓ If I'm going to a party I would wear high heels because this makes me feel elegant.

The verb must agree with the singular subject 'this' so use 'makes'. Ensure third person singular -s with he/she/it.

× But if I'm going to do sports I would usually wear sneakers match to my outfit.

✓ But if I'm going to do sports I would usually wear sneakers that match my outfit.

Use 'that match' to link sneakers to outfit; 'match to' is incorrect. Also add 'that' or 'which' and use no preposition before 'my outfit'.

× I don't buy shoes very often actually, maybe once in a year.

✓ I don't buy shoes very often actually, maybe once a year.

Use 'once a year' not 'once in a year'. 'A' is the correct indefinite article in time expressions.

× Actually most of the shoes that I possess are from online shop.

✓ Actually most of the shoes that I own are from online shops.

Use 'own' rather than formal 'possess' in this context and 'online shops' or 'an online shop' plural fits 'most of the shoes'. Also 'from online shop' lacks article.

× I love online shopping because I have so much more choice online than in the store.

✓ I love online shopping because I have so many more choices online than in stores.

Use 'so many' with countable 'choices' and plural 'stores' to match general comparison. 'Choice' can be uncountable but context prefers 'choices'.

× I would usually spend less than €100 on shoes because no matter how much this shoe cost, it's gonna be broken one day.

✓ I would usually spend less than €100 on shoes because no matter how much a pair of shoes costs, it will be broken one day.

Use third person singular 'costs' for 'a pair of shoes'. Avoid slang 'gonna' and use 'will'. Also 'this shoe' is awkward; 'a pair of shoes' or 'they' is better.

× You can wear them forever, so I don't think it's. Worth the money?

✓ You can't wear them forever, so I don't think it's worth the money.

Sentence fragments and punctuation errors: 'so I don't think it's. Worth the money?' should be one sentence. Also logically 'you can't wear them forever' matches preceding clause about breaking. Remove the question mark.

× I would definitely prefer comfortable shoes like sneakers because you're gonna wear the in in your daily life much more often than you wear fashionable shoes.

✓ I would definitely prefer comfortable shoes like sneakers because you are going to wear them in your daily life much more often than fashionable shoes.

Pronoun errors: use 'them' not 'the in', remove duplicate 'in'. Expand 'gonna' to 'going to' for formality. Also restructure comparison to be concise.

× I mean, fashionable shoes can only be wear at the special occasion.

✓ I mean, fashionable shoes can only be worn on special occasions.

Use past participle 'worn' after modal 'can' (passive/ability construction requires base+be+past participle). Use 'on' with occasions and plural 'occasions'.