Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason with linking words. Avoid repetition (saying frequency twice) and correct plural forms (pairs).

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy one or two pairs a year because I prefer expensive brands like Nike and Skechers, which last longer and are worth the investment.

提案: Clarify details and correct word choice and grammar. Use a linking word to contrast the experience and specify what went wrong with the purchase (fit, material, service). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I have. I once bought a pair of heels online for my graduation because I couldn't go shopping in person. However, the fit and material were poor, so I now prefer buying shoes in physical stores to try them on before buying.

提案: Make figures and categories clear, fix grammar, and organise answer with linking phrases. Distinguish clearly between branded and budget purchases and explain why you consider shoes an investment.

例: For branded shoes like Nike or Skechers I spend about 10,000–12,000 INR, whereas for cheaper or occasional pairs I spend around 500–600 INR. I consider good shoes an investment because they last longer and are more comfortable.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of preference, then give two specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (a comfortable pair, heels hurt) and avoid redundancy.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because fashionable styles often have poor support and hurt my heels. However, occasionally I buy fashionable shoes for special events when appearance matters more than comfort.

× I usually buy a pair once a year or twice a year because mostly I buy a pair of Nike Skechers, which are costly and that's why I usually buy one or two pair a year.

✓ I usually buy a pair once or twice a year because I mostly buy pairs of Nike Skechers, which are costly, and that's why I usually buy one or two pairs a year.

The sentence uses inconsistent singular and plural forms ('a pair' and 'one or two pair'). Use plural 'pairs' when referring to more than one. Also 'a pair once or twice a year' is simplified to 'once or twice a year'. Suggestion: keep number-noun agreement: 'one or two pairs'.

× It was a pair of hair which I really needed during my graduation but I was unable to go for a window shopping and that's why I bought it online.

✓ It was a pair of shoes which I really needed during my graduation, but I was unable to go window shopping and that's why I bought them online.

'Pair of hair' is incorrect — likely 'pair of shoes'. Also 'it' refers to 'pair' but pair is treated as plural for shoes, so use 'them'. 'Window shopping' does not need 'a'. Ensure noun agreement and correct vocabulary.

× However, the quality wasn't much good so I prefer the face to face in shop shopping.

✓ However, the quality wasn't very good, so I prefer face-to-face, in-shop shopping.

'Much good' is unidiomatic; use 'very good'. 'Prefer the face to face in shop shopping' has wrong word order and articles; correct phrase is 'prefer face-to-face, in-shop shopping' or 'prefer to shop in person'. Suggestion: use 'prefer to shop in person' for clarity.

× If I'm buying of the brand shoes like Nike Skechers, I will spend around 10 to 12,000 INR.

✓ If I'm buying brand-name shoes like Nike Skechers, I will spend around 10,000 to 12,000 INR.

'Buying of the brand shoes' is incorrect preposition and word order. Use 'buying brand-name shoes' or 'buying shoes of the brand'. Also number format corrected to '10,000 to 12,000'.

× But if I'm just purchasing it for one or two time years, I would usually spend around 500 to 600 INR, not more than that.

✓ But if I'm just purchasing them for one or two times a year, I would usually spend around 500 to 600 INR, not more than that.

'One or two time years' is incorrect. Use 'one or two times a year'. Also 'it' should match plural 'shoes' so use 'them'. Ensure correct quantifier 'times' and time expression.

× I buy a shoes as an investment.

✓ I buy shoes as an investment.

'A shoes' mixes singular article with plural noun. Remove 'a' or use singular 'a shoe'. Suggestion: use 'I buy shoes' or 'I buy a shoe' depending on intended meaning.

× I highly prefer a comfortable shoes because the fashionable shoes are not much of a good quality.

✓ I much prefer comfortable shoes because fashionable shoes are not of very good quality.

'A comfortable shoes' combines singular article with plural noun; remove 'a'. 'Not much of a good quality' is unidiomatic; use 'not of very good quality'. Also 'highly prefer' is awkward — 'much prefer' is better.

× They're kind of heel hurting and it's not comfortable at all like see some pair of heels.

✓ They kind of hurt the heel and they're not comfortable at all, like some pairs of heels.

'Heel hurting' is awkward; use 'hurt the heel' or 'cause heel pain'. 'See some pair of heels' is ungrammatical; 'some pairs of heels' matches plural. Ensure verbs and adjective forms are idiomatic.

× So I really don't like the fashionable shoes.

✓ So I really don't like fashionable shoes.

'The fashionable shoes' implies specific shoes; in general statements, omit 'the'. Use 'fashionable shoes' to express a general dislike.

× On rare occasion I have bought a fashionable.

✓ On rare occasions I have bought fashionable shoes.

'On rare occasion' should be plural 'on rare occasions' or 'on the rare occasion'. 'Bought a fashionable' is incomplete; include noun 'shoes'. Ensure complete noun phrase and correct idiom.