Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words like 'uh' and incorrect phrases (e.g. 'keen to shopping', 'Sue's').

例: Yes, I like buying shoes and I do it quite often. For example, I usually buy new shoes when I go out with friends, and I recently bought a pair the day before last. Because I enjoy different styles, I now have a large collection at home.

提案: Provide a clear, structured response with specific details and fewer hesitations. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g. 'but', 'because'), and correct small errors ('I thought they wouldn't fit me'). Mention the store name clearly or say 'an online store' if unsure.

例: Yes, I bought shoes online once for my 25th birthday. I ordered a pair of New Balance trainers from an online store, and although I worried they might not fit, they turned out to be comfortable and suited me well.

提案: Give a direct estimate in one sentence, then add a specific example using numbers and a linking word. Avoid unclear ranges and repetition. Use correct currency format if applicable (e.g. 'around 1,000 to 16,000 rupees' or 'around $50 to $200').

例: I usually spend between 1,000 and 16,000 (local currency) on shoes, depending on the type. For everyday shoes I spend around 1,000–3,000, but for branded or special pairs I might pay up to 16,000.

提案: Start with a clear preference sentence, then explain reasons with linking words and a brief example. Correct grammar and avoid repetition (e.g. 'shoes' misspelled). Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes for everyday wear, but I choose fashionable shoes for special occasions like birthdays or vacations. Because I often wear shoes all day, comfort is more important to me; for example, I wear sneakers to work but save heels for parties.

× I am very keen to shopping and uh, shoes is also one of the things that I buy regularly whenever I go out with my friends.

✓ I am very keen on shopping and shoes are also one of the things that I buy regularly whenever I go out with my friends.

The phrase 'keen to shopping' is incorrect; after 'keen' use the preposition 'on' plus noun/gerund (keen on shopping). Also 'shoes is' has a singular verb with a plural subject; change to 'shoes are' to agree in number.

× I really wanted Sue's a day before.

✓ I really wanted shoes a day before.

The sentence uses 'wanted' correctly for past tense but 'Sue's' is likely a mispronunciation or typo for 'shoes'. Correcting the noun fixes meaning while keeping past tense. If meaning was 'I really wanted shoes the day before', include 'the' for clarity.

× I buy a lot of shoes in my house.

✓ I have a lot of shoes in my house.

Present simple 'I buy' suggests habitual action but context indicates possession. Use 'have' to express possession. 'In my house' is acceptable but 'I have a lot of shoes' is more natural.

× Yes, I have uh, it was on my 25th birthday.

✓ Yes, I have. It was on my 25th birthday.

The original joins two clauses awkwardly. Separating into 'Yes, I have.' (present perfect short answer) and 'It was on my 25th birthday.' clarifies meaning and fixes sentence flow.

× I ordered online one, umm, New Balance shoes from umm, one online store called uh, uh, shoes or graphy and it was nice.

✓ I ordered a pair of New Balance shoes online from an online store called Shoesography and they were nice.

Use 'a pair of' for shoes, place 'online' after the verb or before the noun as needed, and make subject-verb agreement 'they were' for plural 'shoes'. Also correct store name formatting; if uncertain, use a single word without extra commas.

× I was thinking like, uh, the IT wouldn't like fit me, but it actually fit.

✓ I was thinking it wouldn't fit me, but it actually did.

Remove extraneous 'the IT' and use correct pronoun order 'fit me'. Use past tense 'did' to match 'wouldn't' expectation and past result 'actually did (fit)'. Also 'fit' as past can be 'fit' or 'fitted'—'did' avoids ambiguity.

× Well, I bought a lot of range, a variety of shoes.

✓ Well, I buy a wide range of shoes.

'Bought a lot of range' is ungrammatical. Use 'buy a wide range of shoes' to express variety in the present habitual context; if referring to past purchases use 'I have bought a wide range of shoes'.

× Umm, it's from like a 1000 to 16,000, uh 16,000 and it's not specific that much specific.

✓ They range from about 1,000 to 16,000, and it's not very specific.

Use 'range from ... to ...' for price ranges, include 'about' for approximation, use commas in numbers and avoid repetition 'that much specific'—use 'not very specific'.

× I sometimes bought umm cheaper seals.

✓ Sometimes I buy cheaper shoes.

Use present simple 'buy' for habitual actions. 'Seals' is a mispronunciation of 'shoes'—correct the noun.

× Sometimes I go for expensive one.

✓ Sometimes I go for an expensive one.

When referring to 'one' (a shoe), use the article 'an' before a vowel sound. Also could pluralize: 'I go for expensive ones.' depending on meaning.

× Most of the time I wear comfortable shoes only in some occasion.

✓ Most of the time I wear comfortable shoes; only on some occasions do I wear fashionable ones.

Original contradicts itself and misuses 'in some occasion'. Use 'on some occasions' and restructure to contrast comfortable vs fashionable shoes. Ensure plural agreement 'occasions'.

× I love wearing fashionable shoes just like in my birthdays or any occasion or any vacation.

✓ I love wearing fashionable shoes on my birthday or for special occasions or vacations.

Use 'on my birthday' (singular) and 'for special occasions' and 'for vacations' for natural prepositions and plurality. 'Just like in my birthdays' is incorrect.

× But rather than other days, I love comfortable shoes as sues is not just for one or two hours, it's for all day.

✓ But on other days I prefer comfortable shoes, as shoes are not just for one or two hours; they are for all day.

Reorder phrase for naturalness: 'on other days I prefer'. Correct 'sues' to 'shoes', fix subject-verb agreement 'shoes are', and split run-on sentence with a semicolon or period.

× You have to wear it all day.

✓ You have to wear them all day.

Refer to 'shoes' (plural) with plural pronoun 'them' not 'it'. Maintain general present tense.

× So it needs to be. I think it's needs to be comfortable.

✓ So they need to be comfortable. I think they need to be comfortable.

Replace 'it' with 'they' for plural 'shoes'. Remove extra 'it's' before 'needs' and use correct subject-verb agreement 'they need'.