Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g. "a day before it"). Use more precise time expressions and reduce filler words.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy new pairs a few times a year, especially when I go out with friends or before special occasions like my birthday. For example, I bought a pair last month because I needed something more comfortable for walking.

提案: Improve fluency and clarity: remove hesitations and finish sentences. Use linking words (however, but) to structure contrast. Give a concise reason why you usually avoid online shopping and a specific example of when it worked.

例: I usually avoid buying shoes online because I'm worried they won't fit properly. However, for my 25th birthday I ordered a pair online because I was too busy to shop in person, and fortunately they fitted well.

提案: Be specific and use clear currency expression; organize answer with a topic sentence followed by details. Use linking words to contrast everyday vs special purchases and avoid fragmented sentences.

例: I usually spend between 1,000 and 16,000 rupees on shoes. For daily wear I prefer cheaper, comfortable pairs, but I might spend more—around 16,000—on a special pair for occasions like a birthday or a holiday.

提案: This answer is clear but can be tightened: start with a direct statement, then contrast with linking words and give a brief reason. Remove hesitations and repeat words.

例: It depends, but generally I prefer comfortable shoes for daily use because they provide support for long periods. For special events or holidays, however, I choose fashionable shoes to match my outfit.

× I often buy shoes whenever I go out with my friends to hang out.

✓ I often buy shoes when I go out with my friends to hang out.

Redundant use of 'often' and 'whenever' together is a sentence structure issue (use either frequency adverb or 'whenever'). Use of 'when' is more natural. Suggestion: avoid combining 'often' with 'whenever' in the same clause.

× I buy shoes a day before it and also in my birthday or any occasion.

✓ I buy shoes the day before and also on my birthday or on other occasions.

Singular/plural and article/preposition issues: 'a day before it' is awkward and incorrect; use 'the day before' or specify 'the day before an event'. 'in my birthday' should be 'on my birthday'. Also 'any occasion' is better as 'other occasions' for plurality.

× I'm keen to choose.

✓ I'm keen on choosing them.

Sentence structure and verb form: 'keen to choose' is awkward and incomplete; English commonly uses 'keen on' + gerund or 'keen to' + infinitive with a clear object. Here 'choosing them' clarifies the object.

× I have a variety of shoes in my house.

✓ I have a variety of shoes at home.

Singular/plural/location wording: 'in my house' is grammatically possible but unidiomatic; 'at home' is more natural. No plural error but improved phrasing.

× I usually don't buy shoes online as I think like it doesn't fit on my, uh, it doesn't fit me, but uh, it was on on my last birthday.

✓ I usually don't buy shoes online because I think they won't fit me, but I did on my last birthday.

Present tense and sentence structure: 'I usually don't buy' (present simple) is fine, but 'it doesn't fit on my' is incorrect pronoun/verb agreement and preposition choice. Use 'they won't fit me' or 'they don't fit me'. Also 'it was on on my last birthday' should be 'I did on my last birthday' to refer to buying online. Suggestions: use 'because' for reasons and 'they' for plural 'shoes'.

× I on my 25th birthday, I bought shoes online as I was very busy in my schedule.

✓ On my 25th birthday, I bought shoes online because I was very busy.

Past tense and sentence structure: remove the extra 'I' at the start and use 'because' instead of 'as' for clarity. 'Busy in my schedule' is unnatural; use 'I was very busy.' Keep past simple tense consistent.

× I was working all day and that's why I bought it online, but it was, it fit me well and.

✓ I was working all day, so I bought them online, and they fit me well.

Present tense/past tense consistency and pronoun agreement: 'it' should be 'them' to agree with 'shoes' (plural). Remove dangling 'and.' Use 'so' for result and keep past tense 'fit'.

× So I spent from 1000 to 16,000.

✓ I usually spend between 1,000 and 16,000.

Tense and number expression: Use present simple 'I usually spend' for habitual action. Use 'between...and...' to state a range. Also format numbers consistently.

× Well I guess I have one of the shoes which is of 16,000 that I bought for my birthday.

✓ Well, I guess I have one pair of shoes that cost 16,000 which I bought for my birthday.

Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs and word choice: 'one of the shoes which is of 16,000' is awkward. Use 'one pair of shoes' and 'cost 16,000.' Also clarify 'pair' for shoes.

× And yeah I usually go for comfortable one.

✓ And yeah, I usually go for a comfortable one.

Incorrect use of adjectives/articles: missing article 'a' before 'comfortable one.' Suggestion: include 'a' when referencing a single item.

× The cheaper one.

✓ The cheaper one.

Fragment and context: This is a sentence fragment. Better to combine with previous sentence: 'I usually go for a comfortable one, the cheaper one for daily use.' Ensure full sentence structure.

× Comfortable and cheaper one for my daily use and expensive one for other occasion, vacation or any special event.

✓ I choose a comfortable, cheaper pair for daily use and an expensive pair for other occasions, vacations, or special events.

Singular/plural and article use: use 'pair' for shoes and pluralize occasions/vacations. Include articles 'a' and 'an' and use commas for adjective order. Use plural 'occasions' for generality.

× Well, it depends.

✓ Well, it depends.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× Whenever I am in any special event, I wear fashionable shoes like in my birthday or where I'm going out for a holiday.

✓ When I'm at a special event, I wear fashionable shoes, for example on my birthday or when I'm going on holiday.

Present tense and preposition use: 'in any special event' should be 'at a special event.' Use 'when' or 'on' for occasions and 'on holiday' or 'going on holiday.' Also 'like' should be 'for example' for clarity.

× Uh, but uh, for everyday use, I prefer comfortable one which give me support as uh, we have to wear it all day long.

✓ But for everyday use, I prefer a comfortable one which gives me support, as we have to wear them all day long.

Present tense and subject-verb agreement: 'which give me support' should be 'which gives me support' if referring to 'one' (singular), but better to use plural 'them' with 'shoes' and 'give.' Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'gives' for singular, 'give' for plural. Also use 'them' for 'shoes' and plural verb 'give'.

× That's why I prefer comfortable shoes for everyday use.

✓ That's why I prefer comfortable shoes for everyday use.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.