Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并结构清晰。开头给出明确立场，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，避免冗长和语法错误。如有时间频率信息也应简要说明。注意冠词和时态的一致性。

例: I don’t really enjoy buying shoes now, but I used to when I was in high school. Back then I often bought popular styles like Air Jordans and Air Forces because they were trendy on campus.

提案: 回答清晰但需注意时态和用词多样性。用具体例子说明何时在哪个平台买过、一次购物经历或比较质量与价格，会更有说服力。避免重复同一词（如 always）。

例: Yes, I often buy shoes online because websites usually offer discounts. For example, I recently bought a pair from a popular online store that was 30% cheaper than the local shop, and the quality was still good.

提案: 回答要更精确并注意货币单位和数值表达。分段描述过去与现在的花费很不错，但应使用正确时态并给出原因或频率来支持数额变化。

例: In high school I used to spend about 1,000 yuan on shoes because my mother bought them for me. Now that I’m at university, I usually spend around 100–200 yuan per pair because I have a tighter budget.

提案: 回答要更连贯并修正语法错误。先给出明确偏好，再用一两个简短具体的经历支持（使用正确的词汇和时态）。避免含糊的表达和语病。

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I value practicality. For instance, once I wore stylish shoes to Disneyland and by the end of the day my feet were sore, so now I choose comfort over fashion.

× Actually I don't like buying shoes, but when I was a child in my high school I really liked buying some shoes, for example the the Air Jordan, Air Force and other which are very popular in our campus.

✓ Actually I don't like buying shoes, but when I was a child and in high school I really liked buying shoes, for example Air Jordans, Air Forces and others which were very popular on our campus.

句子结构混乱且有多处问题：1) “when I was a child in my high school” 逻辑不通，应该把“当我还是孩子”和“上高中”分开或改为“当我上高中时”；2) 冠词与名词复数错误，“the the” 多余；3) 品牌名要用复数形式表示多双鞋（Air Jordans）；4) 时态一致性，过去时应使用“were”；5) 介词使用不当，“in our campus” 应为“on our campus”。建议将长句拆分或调整从句顺序，保持时态一致并注意可数名词的复数形式。

× Yes, I always bought shoes online because we always have some discount online and we can find it cheaper than the shoes in the shops.

✓ Yes, I always buy shoes online because there are often discounts online and we can find them cheaper than the shoes in the shops.

时间副词“always”暗示习惯现在时，应使用现在时“buy”而不是过去时“bought”。另外：1) “we always have some discount online” 改为更自然的表达“there are often discounts online”；2) 指代“shoes”需用代词“them”；3) 比较结构中不用重复定冠词“the”。建议根据时间副词选择合适时态，使用恰当的代词指代可数名词。

× When I was in high school, I usually spent nearly 1000 on my shoes because at that time I always asked my mother to buy shoes for me. But now as I went to university, I only spent 100 or 200 that I can afford.

✓ When I was in high school, I usually spent nearly 1000 on shoes because at that time I always asked my mother to buy shoes for me. But now that I have gone to university, I only spend 100 or 200, which I can afford.

句中时态混用：第一句描述过去时正确；第二句“now as I went to university”时态错误，现况应使用现在完成或现在时，如“now that I have gone to university”或“now that I'm at university”。随后从句“I only spent”应改为现在时“I only spend”。此外“that I can afford”需改为非限定性定语从句“which I can afford”。建议保持时态一致，区分过去情况与现在情况，并使用正确的关系代词连接从句。

× I prefer to buy some comfortable shoes. Umm, it is very important. I still remember when I bought a fashionable shoes and I went to the Disneyland with my friends, and after one day's work, my food are very injuries.

✓ I prefer to buy comfortable shoes. Umm, comfort is very important. I still remember when I bought a pair of fashionable shoes and went to Disneyland with my friends, and after a day out my feet were very sore.

多个错误：1) “buy some comfortable shoes” 可更简洁为“buy comfortable shoes”；2) “it is very important” 指代不清，改为“comfort is very important” 更明确；3) “a fashionable shoes” 冠词与可数名词不一致，应为“a pair of fashionable shoes” 或“a fashionable pair of shoes”；4) “the Disneyland” 冠词多余，应为“Disneyland”；5) “after one day's work, my food are very injuries” 完全错误：应为“after a day out my feet were very sore” —— “feet”为“foot”复数，形容词用“sore”，时态用过去“were”。建议注意可数名词与冠词搭配，身体部位用复数形式和恰当形容词，保持语义清晰并使用正确时态。