Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct repetition and unfinished clauses. For example, state frequency once, explain reason with a linking word (because/so) and a brief detail about what you need from shoes.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, especially sporty ones, and I usually buy them twice a year because I spend many hours standing and walking for work and study. Therefore, I prefer shoes with good cushioning and support.

提案: Make your response grammatical and clear. Start with a direct answer, then give specific details and use linking words (however, because, so). Avoid unclear names or fragments. Explain how you ensure the right fit when shopping internationally online.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online. However, I find sizing varies between countries, so I always check the seller's size chart and customer reviews to choose the right size.

提案: Give a clear price range first, then one specific reason using linking words. Remove filler words and repetitions. Mention what features you expect for that price to justify spending.

例: I usually spend about $40 to $80 on a pair of shoes because I want them to be comfortable and durable. For that price I look for good cushioning and solid construction.

提案: Be direct and avoid unclear words (“boat” seems wrong). State your preference clearly, then give a specific reason and an example using a linking word (because/so). Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: To be honest, I prefer comfortable shoes that are also stylish because I care about my appearance but need support for long days. For example, I choose sneakers that look modern yet have good arch support.

× Yes, I really do love buying shoes, especially the sporty ones and I do that twice a year, twice a year because my shop and studying it's all about spending hours standing and walking so I'm so.

✓ Yes, I really love buying shoes, especially sporty ones, and I do that twice a year because my job and studies involve standing and walking for long hours.

The original sentence has run-on structure, repetition, and incorrect noun choice ('shop' likely intended 'job'), plus awkward phrasing ('so I'm so'). Combine clauses properly, remove repetition, and use accurate nouns and verb forms. Suggestion: break into clear clauses and choose the correct word ('job' or 'work').

× Yes, I did, but Anna and I'm good at choosing the right sizes.

✓ Yes, I did, and I'm good at choosing the right sizes.

The original includes an extraneous word 'Anna' creating confusion. Also the conjunction should be 'and' not 'but' if speaker means additional information. Remove the unintended word and use appropriate connector. Ensure subject-verb agreement with 'I am' contracted to 'I'm'.

× Uh, because sizes is very between countries which make it hard to choose the right one.

✓ Uh, because sizes vary a lot between countries, which makes it hard to choose the right one.

'Sizes' is plural, so the verb must be plural ('vary' not 'is'). Also use 'vary a lot' for meaning and correct relative clause agreement: 'which makes' agrees with the singular idea 'the variation' or the whole clause. Suggestion: use 'vary' and 'makes'.

× I usually spend around 40 to $80 on a pair of shoes as long as it, uh, comfortable and they they they are, they last longer.

✓ I usually spend around $40 to $80 on a pair of shoes as long as it is comfortable and they last a long time.

Missing verb 'is' before 'comfortable' (needs present simple 'is'), redundant words 'they they they' removed, and 'last longer' is vague—'last a long time' is clearer. Also correct placement of dollar sign and hyphenation. Suggestion: include necessary linking verbs and avoid repetition.

× To be honest, I do prefer boat. I really care about my style and as long as it makes me feel comfortable.

✓ To be honest, I prefer fashionable shoes. I care about my style as long as they make me feel comfortable.

Original 'boat' is incorrect word choice (likely 'both' or 'bold'—context suggests 'fashionable'). 'I do prefer' is awkward; simple 'I prefer' is better. Also ensure noun 'shoes' and pronoun 'they' agree. Suggest using precise vocabulary ('fashionable shoes').