Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence. Use one or two supporting details and add a short reason to make your answer coherent. Avoid repeating ideas (e.g., ‘I love shoes’ twice). Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I do. I usually buy 2–3 pairs a year, mainly workout shoes because I go to the gym often and like shoes that make a statement. Because I exercise regularly, I replace them when they wear out.

提案: Begin with a clear direct answer, then give one or two specific supporting points. Mention a concrete example (brand or size) or a solution (checking size charts or reviews) to show clear reasoning. Use linking words like ‘however’ and ‘for example’ appropriately and avoid informal fillers such as ‘kinda’.

例: Yes, I have. Once I ordered a running shoe that was too tight because the brand runs small. Now I always check the size chart and read customer reviews before buying online to avoid that problem.

提案: Answer directly with current tense and clear figures, then give a concise reason. Avoid contradictions about quality and replicas; explain trade-offs or preferences (e.g., budget vs. brand). Watch grammar (use ‘spend’ not ‘spent’) and remove repetition.

例: I usually spend about 1,000 to 2,000 Egyptian pounds on a pair of shoes because that range gives me decent quality here in Egypt. If I need branded styles but want to save money, I sometimes buy high-quality replicas after checking reviews.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add a brief reason and a condition or example. Use fewer conjunctions and correct grammar (e.g., ‘if that trend doesn’t suit me’). Keep it to two or three sentences for clarity.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I value how they feel during long days. However, I follow fashion trends and will choose a stylish pair if it also suits my personal style and feels comfortable.

× I do love buying shoes.

✓ I love buying shoes.

Using 'do' for emphasis is not ungrammatical, but in spoken responses 'I love buying shoes' is more natural. If keeping emphasis, use 'I do love buying shoes.' However, unnecessary auxiliary can be omitted to improve style.

× I love shoes in general because they have a lot of styles, a lot of different colors, and what I shop most for is workout shoes because I like to go to the gym with statement pieces.

✓ I love shoes in general because they come in many styles and colors, and what I shop for most is workout shoes because I like to go to the gym in statement pieces.

'Have a lot of styles' is awkward; use 'come in many styles'. 'A lot of different colors' is acceptable but 'many colors' is smoother. 'What I shop most for' has word order issues; use 'what I shop for most'. Preposition 'go to the gym with statement pieces' is incorrect: say 'go to the gym in statement pieces.' These changes fix plural phrasing and preposition use.

× I often buy 2 to 3 pairs per year.

✓ I often buy two to three pairs per year.

Use words for small numerals in formal writing; numerals are acceptable in speech transcripts but spelling out is clearer. No grammatical error in quantifier logic, just style.

× Yes, I did buy shoes online a few years ago but it was a bit tight.

✓ Yes, I bought shoes online a few years ago, but they were a bit tight.

Use simple past 'bought' rather than emphatic 'did buy' unless emphasizing. 'It was a bit tight' incorrectly uses singular pronoun for shoes; use plural 'they were a bit tight.' Also keep past tense agreement.

× It's kinda tricky to buy shoes online because you don't always get the size right.

✓ It's kind of tricky to buy shoes online because you don't always get the size right.

'Kinda' is informal slang; use 'kind of' in more standard speech. Tense and structure are otherwise correct.

× However, if you choose your right size, the fit of different brands can be different.

✓ However, if you choose the right size, the fit of different brands can vary.

Use article 'the' before 'right size'. 'Can be different' is awkward; 'can vary' is more natural.

× I spent around 1 to 2000 Egyptian pounds for shoes because that's a a good starting point for a quality shoes here in Egypt and I often buy mirror or replica ones because they are the exact same as originals.

✓ I spend around 1,000 to 2,000 Egyptian pounds on shoes because that's a good starting point for quality shoes here in Egypt, and I often buy mirror or replica ones because they are exactly the same as the originals.

Use present tense 'I spend' to match 'How much do you usually spend?' question. Number range should be '1,000 to 2,000'. Preposition 'on shoes' is correct instead of 'for'. Remove duplicate 'a a'. Use 'quality shoes' without article. 'Exactly the same as originals' needs article: 'the originals.' Also 'exactly' rather than 'the exact' before 'same'.

× I do prefer comfortable shoes, however I do like to follow the fashion trends, but if that trends doesn't suit me I don't go for it.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes; however, I do like to follow fashion trends, but if those trends don't suit me, I don't follow them.

Avoid redundant 'do' in 'I do prefer.' 'Fashion trends' does not need 'the'. 'That trends' is incorrect: use plural 'those trends' and correct verb agreement 'don't suit'. Also 'I don't go for it' is vague — use 'I don't follow them' to refer to trends.

× I just go for whatever I like and prefer and what suits my style the most.

✓ I just choose whatever I like and whatever suits my style best.

Sentence is repetitive ('like and prefer') and wordy. 'Go for' is conversational; 'choose' is clearer. Use parallel structure 'whatever I like and whatever suits my style' and 'best' instead of 'the most.'