Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question. Avoid repeating similar ideas and include one specific example to support your reason. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use a linking word to connect your reason.

例: I don't buy shoes very often. I usually buy a new pair every few months only when my old ones wear out, because I value comfort and durability. For instance, I replaced my running shoes last month after two years of regular use, so I avoid shopping just for fashion.

提案: Begin with a direct yes/no and then give one clear reason with a brief supporting detail. Remove unrelated fragments and use a linking word to make the structure logical. Mention a specific negative experience or example if possible.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but I usually avoid it because I prefer trying shoes on to ensure a comfortable fit. For example, once I ordered shoes that were the wrong size and returning them took two weeks, so now I mostly buy shoes in stores.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the price range, then briefly explain why using one or two specific reasons. Use a linking word like 'because' and avoid repeating ideas. You could add a short example of a purchase to make it more vivid.

例: I usually spend about 200 to 800 RMB on a pair of shoes because that range balances durability and comfort. For example, I bought a pair of leather sneakers for 500 RMB last year that lasted over a year of daily wear.

提案: Good structure and clear examples. Improve by making the opening sentence more natural (e.g., 'It depends on the situation') and using a linking word such as 'however' to contrast the choices. Keep it concise and avoid verbose phrases.

例: It depends on the situation. When I'm at work or at university, I prefer comfortable shoes because I spend many hours on my feet; however, for parties or important events I choose fashionable shoes to look smart.

× How often? Not really.

✓ How often? Not really; I don't buy shoes that often.

The original 'How often? Not really.' is fragmentary and unclear. 'Not really' alone does not answer 'How often?'. Provide a complete sentence that answers frequency using appropriate adverbial phrase and auxiliary verb. Suggestion: use 'I don't buy shoes that often' to clearly respond to the question.

× Yes I have, it's under shopping is very popular in China, but I usually avoid buying shoes online because I prefer to try them on to ensure a comfortable fit and returning items can be quite inconvenient and time consuming.

✓ Yes, I have; online shopping is very popular in China, but I usually avoid buying shoes online because I prefer to try them on to ensure a comfortable fit, and returning items can be quite inconvenient and time-consuming.

The original sentence has punctuation and article/phrase errors: 'it's under shopping is very popular in China' is incorrect and unclear. Replace with 'online shopping is very popular in China'. Add commas and a semicolon for clarity. Also hyphenate 'time-consuming' as a compound adjective. Ensure parallel structure with 'because I prefer... and returning items...'.

× I usually spend around 200 to 800 RMB for pair because I think it is reasonable for both duration and comfort.

✓ I usually spend around 200 to 800 RMB per pair because I think it is reasonable for both durability and comfort.

'for pair' is incorrect; use 'per pair' or 'for a pair'. Also 'duration' is incorrect in this context; the correct word is 'durability' when referring to how long shoes last. These corrections fix noun number/usage and word choice.

× I don't really splurge on shoes because I think it is unnecessary to spend thousands just for the trend or the brand.

✓ I don't really splurge on shoes because I think it is unnecessary to spend thousands just for the trend or the brand name.

Sentence is mostly correct, but 'the brand' is awkward; 'the brand name' or simply 'brands' sounds more natural. This adjusts noun choice to be idiomatic.

× I propose depending on the situation.

✓ I would say it depends on the situation.

'I propose depending on the situation' is ungrammatical and unnatural. Use 'I would say' or 'It depends on the situation'. This fixes sentence structure and verb collocation.

× For example, when I'm at work or attending classes, I usually wear comfortable shoes because I spend a lot of time on my feet.

✓ For example, when I'm at work or attending classes, I usually wear comfortable shoes because I spend a lot of time on my feet.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present simple/progressive contexts and matches the question, so no correction is necessary; keep as is. Included here to indicate it was checked.

× But when I'm going to a party or an important event, I choose fashionable shoes to look smart.

✓ But when I go to a party or an important event, I choose fashionable shoes to look smart.

'When I'm going to' is not wrong, but 'when I go to' is a more natural and typical use of simple present to describe habitual choices. Adjusting to simple present makes the sentence clearer and matches habitual context.