Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, correct grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement and tense), and give one specific supporting detail. Limit to about 2–4 sentences. Use linking words like "so" or "usually" to connect ideas.

例: Not really. Shoes are quite expensive, so I usually buy them only when my mother takes me to the supermarket. I go shopping for shoes about twice a year and pick practical pairs that last.

提案: State your main answer first, then give specific reasons with clear linking words. Remove hesitations and repetitions, and use correct tense and comparative forms (e.g., "cheaper than"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I buy shoes online almost every month, both for myself and sometimes for my parents. I prefer online shopping because there is a wider selection of styles and prices are often cheaper than in supermarkets.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and use correct grammar and numbers. Be specific about typical price ranges and use linking words such as "however" or "but" to contrast. Avoid unclear phrases like "three CN¥100"; say "around 100–300 yuan."

例: It depends on the shoes. For fashionable or shiny pairs I might spend around ¥600–700, but if there is a big sale I usually spend much less, often around ¥100–300.

提案: Give a clear opinion first and support it with logical reasons and correct grammar. Avoid contradictory or confusing sentences. Use linking words like "because" and "however" to structure your answer, and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I need them for walking, exercising, and daily work. However, if fashionable shoes are also comfortable, I might choose them for special occasions.

× Not really because I think shoes are expensive and I can't afford it so my mom often bring take me takes me to the supermarket and I choose one.

✓ Not really, because I think shoes are expensive and I can't afford them, so my mom often takes me to the supermarket and I choose one.

Pronoun disagreement: 'shoes' is plural so use plural object pronoun 'them' instead of 'it'. Verb form errors: 'my mom often bring take me takes me' shows confusion and redundant verbs; correct third-person singular requires 'takes'. Suggestion: use one clear verb for the action ('takes me') and match pronouns to plural nouns ('them').

× I often go to the supermarket for shoes twice a year.

✓ I often go to the supermarket to buy shoes twice a year.

Preposition and verb choice: 'for shoes' is understandable but awkward; use 'to buy shoes' for clarity. No plural noun error here but the sentence benefits from clearer verb to express purpose. Suggestion: use 'to buy' to indicate purpose when visiting a place to obtain something.

× Of course, yes, almost every month, sometimes for my shoes and sometimes for my parents.

✓ Of course, yes; almost every month I buy shoes, sometimes for myself and sometimes for my parents.

Missing verb and pronoun clarity: original fragment lacks main verb 'buy' and uses 'my shoes' awkwardly. Use 'myself' as reflexive or 'for myself' to indicate recipient. Suggestion: include the verb and clear object: 'I buy shoes... for myself.'

× I think I thought there was uh, more shoes online than the, the supermarket and uh, sometimes it's cheaper.

✓ I think there are more shoes online than in the supermarket, and sometimes they are cheaper.

Tense and number agreement: 'I think I thought' is redundant; choose present 'I think'. 'There was' should be 'there are' to match plural 'shoes' and present observation. Use 'in the supermarket' for correct preposition. Pronoun 'they' refers to 'shoes' (plural). Suggestion: keep present tense for general statements and match verb number to plural nouns.

× It was cheaper than I buy shoes on on in the supermarket.

✓ They are cheaper than the shoes I buy in the supermarket.

Preposition and comparative structure: use 'in the supermarket' not 'on in'. Use 'than the shoes I buy' to compare the items. Also keep tense consistent; use present 'are' for general comparison. Suggestion: structure comparisons as 'X are cheaper than Y' and place the prepositional phrase after the noun.

× Where is depend on shoes.

✓ It depends on the shoes.

Word order and missing subject: 'Where is depend on shoes' is ungrammatical. Correct structure uses 'It depends on' followed by the noun. Suggestion: use the dummy subject 'It' with 'depends on' and include the article 'the' when referring to a specific group of shoes.

× If the shoes is very contemporary and shiny, it cost me 600 to CN¥700.

✓ If the shoes are very fashionable and shiny, they cost me CN¥600 to CN¥700.

Subject-verb agreement: 'shoes' is plural so use 'are' not 'is', and 'they cost' not 'it cost'. Vocabulary: 'contemporary' is odd for shoes; 'fashionable' fits better. Currency formatting: place 'CN¥' before amounts. Suggestion: match plural subject with plural verbs and pronouns.

× But if there is a big discount like 5 percent 50% discount, I only can buy it on three CN¥100.

✓ But if there is a big discount like 50%, I can buy them for only CN¥300 (three hundred yuan).

Quantifier and number errors: '5 percent 50% discount' is inconsistent; choose '50%'. 'I only can buy it on three CN¥100' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely means 'for only three hundred yuan'. Use 'them' for plural 'shoes' and correct word order: 'can only buy them for CN¥300'. Suggestion: state discounts clearly and use standard number phrasing.

× Which do you prefer, fashionable shoes or comfortable shoes?

✓ Which do you prefer, fashionable shoes or comfortable shoes?

This sentence is fine; no correction needed. It correctly uses plural nouns and structure. Suggestion: none.

× I think comfortable shoes because your shoes is only help you to work or exercise or running.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they only help you work, exercise, or run.

Pronoun and verb forms: 'your shoes is' should be 'they' (referring to shoes) and 'help you to work' is better as 'help you work'. Use parallel verb forms 'exercise or run' rather than 'running'. Suggestion: use 'they' for 'shoes' and keep verbs parallel.

× But if your fashionable shoes is not comfortable, it may enjoy enjoy your shoe, your feet and you will feel very comfortable.

✓ But if fashionable shoes are not comfortable, they may hurt your feet and you will feel very uncomfortable.

Multiple errors: subject-verb agreement ('shoes are' not 'shoes is'), pronoun agreement ('they' not 'it'), wrong verb choice 'enjoy' (should be 'hurt'), and contradictory adjectives ('feel very uncomfortable' instead of 'comfortable'). Suggestion: match plural subjects with plural verbs/pronouns and choose verbs that reflect the intended meaning (hurt, injure) and consistent adjectives.

× It's not worse.

✓ It's not good.

Comparative misuse: 'not worse' is odd in context; speaker likely means 'it's not good' or 'that's worse'. Choose clear adjective. Suggestion: use straightforward descriptions like 'it's not good' or 'that's worse' depending on intended meaning.