Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and an example. Avoid repeating words (e.g. 'buy' and 'purchase') and unnecessary phrases. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g. 'replace' vs 'get new ones').

例: I don't buy shoes very often — usually every three or four months. I prefer to get good-quality pairs and wear them for a long time, so I only replace them when they start to wear out.

提案: Organize the answer: give a clear topic sentence, then two linked supporting points (one positive of online shopping and one reason you prefer stores). Use linking words (e.g. 'however', 'because') correctly and avoid awkward phrasing like 'branches in the physical stores'.

例: Yes, I sometimes buy shoes online because it is very convenient and I can compare styles and prices quickly. However, I usually prefer physical stores because I can try them on and returns are simpler if they don't fit.

提案: Correct grammar and be precise: use consistent currency format and singular/plural forms (e.g. 'a pair of shoes', 'good-quality shoes'). Begin with a direct topic sentence and give a brief reason. Avoid filler words like 'well' and 'I would say' too often.

例: I usually spend a moderate amount on shoes — about $80 to $150 for a pair. I choose this range because I prefer good-quality shoes that will last longer.

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence: start with a direct statement ('I prefer comfortable shoes'), give 1–2 clear reasons and an example. Remove filler sounds ('uh') and fix grammar (e.g. 'comfortable shoes', 'help prevent foot problems' or 'reduce discomfort').

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot during the day. Comfortable, durable pairs help prevent foot pain and let me stay on my feet longer without discomfort.

× Yes, I have.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online.

Answer 'Yes, I have' is grammatically acceptable as a short response, but in this context it lacks the past participle verb that completes the present perfect structure. The full form 'Yes, I have bought shoes online' clarifies the action. Suggestion: use the past participle after 'have' when giving a full sentence (have + past participle).

× I sometimes buy shoes online because it is very convenient.

✓ I sometimes buy shoes online because it is very convenient.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no preposition error. No change needed. Explanation: 'buy ... online' correctly uses the adverb 'online' to indicate the place/method. Keep as is.

× However, I still prefer branches in the physical stores because the return policy is reasonable and flexible.

✓ However, I still prefer the physical stores because their return policies are reasonable and flexible.

Original uses 'branches in the physical stores', which is awkward and has pronoun agreement issues. 'Prefer the physical stores' is clearer. Also 'their return policies' matches plural 'stores' and 'are reasonable and flexible' remains appropriate. Suggestion: match possessive pronoun number to the noun (stores -> their policies).

× Well I would say I usually spend a moderate amount of money when I purchase a shoes.

✓ Well, I would say I usually spend a moderate amount of money when I purchase a pair of shoes.

The phrase 'a shoes' mixes singular article 'a' with plural noun 'shoes'. Use 'a shoe' or better 'a pair of shoes' to refer to footwear. Suggestion: use 'a pair of shoes' when referring to one set of shoes.

× Normally I would say around 80 to $150.00 for a pair.

✓ Normally I would say around $80 to $150 for a pair.

The original mixes formats and omits the dollar sign before 80. Use consistent currency notation '$80 to $150'. Also '$150.00' can be simplified to '$150'. Suggestion: keep currency format consistent and include the symbol before both numbers.

× I prefer buying a good quality shoes that can last longer.

✓ I prefer buying good-quality shoes that can last longer.

'a good quality shoes' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'shoes' and misplaces 'quality'. Use 'good-quality shoes' (hyphenated compound adjective) without 'a' when referring to shoes in general. Suggestion: use plural noun without 'a' and hyphenate compound adjective.

× Well I will definitely go for a comfortable shoes because I travel a lot during my day so are comfortable and durable pairs of shoes can uh make me prevent from the footprint.

✓ Well, I would definitely go for comfortable shoes because I travel a lot during the day, so comfortable and durable pairs of shoes can help prevent blisters and wear.

Multiple errors: 'will' is not the best modal here — 'would' or 'I definitely choose' fits preference questions; 'a comfortable shoes' mixes 'a' with plural 'shoes'; 'during my day' should be 'during the day'; 'so are comfortable and durable pairs of shoes can uh make me prevent from the footprint' is ungrammatical and unclear. I replaced this with 'so comfortable and durable pairs of shoes can help prevent blisters and wear' to convey likely intended meaning. Suggestions: match article and noun number, use appropriate modal for preference ('would' or present simple), and express the purpose/result clearly using 'help prevent' plus the specific problem (e.g., blisters, wear).