Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and one or two supporting details. Avoid repetition and unfinished fragments. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so, and). Mention frequency clearly (e.g., once a month).

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy a new pair about once a month because wearing new shoes lifts my mood and makes me feel more confident.

提案: Give a clear yes/no answer, then explain briefly what happened using correct sentence structure and specific details. State where you bought them, why you were unhappy, and any consequence (e.g., returned them). Use linking words like but or so.

例: Yes, I bought shoes online last week from a popular marketplace, but I was disappointed because the size was much larger than expected, so I plan to return them.

提案: Start with a clear figure and time frame, then give a concise reason. Use correct currency format and grammatical structures. Avoid filler sounds and unclear phrases. If possible, contrast with expensive options and explain why you avoid them.

例: I usually spend about $50 to $60 per month on shoes because that is a reasonable price for the styles I like. I avoid expensive shoes since I only wear many pairs during a season and prefer to replace them regularly.

提案: State your preference in one clear sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, although). If comfort matters too, acknowledge it briefly. Keep sentences grammatical and avoid unfinished thoughts.

例: I prefer fashionable shoes because I spend a lot of time in the city and want to look stylish. However, I also value some comfort, so I choose fashionable designs that are still reasonably comfortable.

× I usually buy every month new new IT because I if I wear new shoes my mood can be very good and I feel very happy and it it helps me. My.

✓ I usually buy new shoes every month because if I wear new shoes my mood improves and I feel very happy; it helps me.

The original has incorrect word order and redundant words ('new new', 'IT', 'My'). 'Shoes' is correct plural. Corrected sentence fixes word order ('buy new shoes every month') and uses 'improves' to match subject 'mood'. Removed fragments and redundancies and combined into a coherent sentence. Suggestion: Keep noun phrases intact ('new shoes') and place adverbs of frequency ('every month') after the verb phrase or before the main verb; avoid repeating words.

× Yes, last week I bought new shoes from the Internet, especially exactly the market the I don't like. I didn't like buy it because its size is very high and I wear and my uncle.

✓ Yes, last week I bought new shoes online, but I did not like them because the size was too large and they did not fit me.

Errors include awkward phrasing and incorrect tense/word forms. 'Bought' is correct past tense, but 'I didn't like buy it' is ungrammatical. 'Its size is very high' should be 'the size was too large'. Pronoun agreement: 'shoes' -> 'them'. Removed irrelevant fragments ('especially exactly the market the I don't like', 'and my uncle'). Suggestion: Use 'online' instead of 'from the Internet' for natural speech, match pronouns to plural nouns, and use past tense consistently for past events.

× If I buy new shoes I spend 50 or $60.00 every month because it's con average for buying news. I don't like expensive shoes because it is one time I wear UH in a during the season.

✓ If I buy new shoes, I spend about $50 or $60 every month because that's the average I spend on shoes. I don't like expensive shoes because I only wear them a few times during the season.

Problems: missing comma after conditional clause, unnatural phrasing ('con average', 'buying news'), incorrect article use and unclear time expression. Corrected to use 'about $50 or $60', 'that's the average I spend on shoes', and 'only wear them a few times' to express limited use. Suggestion: Use 'about' for approximations, include commas in conditional sentences, and replace unclear fillers with precise phrases.

× I don't like expensive shoes because it is one time I wear UH in a during the season.

✓ I don't like expensive shoes because I only wear them once or a few times during the season.

Pronoun 'it' wrongly refers to plural 'shoes'; use 'them'. 'One time I wear' is unnatural; corrected to 'wear them once or a few times'. Removed filler 'UH' and extra articles. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and use natural adverbial expressions for frequency.

× I prefer fashionable shoes because I usually Learning Center and city so I I like fashionable shoes and it gives me positive energy and I'll looks like very sweet and clear and other time I.

✓ I prefer fashionable shoes because I usually go to the learning center and into the city, so I like fashionable shoes; they give me positive energy and make me look neat and attractive.

Errors: missing verb 'go', awkward noun phrases ('Learning Center and city'), repetition, incorrect subject-verb agreement ('it gives' -> 'they give'), and wrong future contraction 'I'll looks'. Corrected to include proper verbs and plural agreement with 'shoes'. Suggestion: Use complete verb phrases ('go to the learning center'), ensure subject-verb agreement for plural subjects, avoid repetition, and choose appropriate adjectives ('neat', 'attractive') instead of vague words like 'clear'.