Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "because" instead of "'cause") and avoid unclear phrases like "Service will be a durable."

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but I only do so once or twice a year because I’m on a tight budget. When I buy, I usually choose good-quality sneakers that are durable and comfortable, so they last a long time.

提案: Give a clear, concise past experience with correct grammar and avoid unnecessary hesitations. Use linking words to show consequence and provide a short reflection or lesson learnt.

例: Yes, I bought basketball shoes online when I was in grade 12 because they were my favorite player’s model. However, they were poor quality and caused me to twist my ankle, so now I check reviews and return policies carefully before buying shoes online.

提案: Answer directly with clear figures and remove fillers. Explain currency and give one reason for the price difference. Use linking words for clarity.

例: I usually buy shoes in Nepal and spend around 10,000 to 15,000 rupees locally. However, when friends bring shoes from abroad, I pay about $100–$200 because imported brands are more expensive but often higher quality.

提案: Start with a clear preference and explain with one or two specific reasons and examples. Avoid repetition and incorrect collocations (e.g., "high quality suits" is confusing). Use linking words like "however" or "for example."

例: I prefer fashionable shoes for casual wear because they look good for social events; however, for training and sports I always choose comfortable, high-quality trainers because they support my feet and improve my performance.

× I usually buy shoes once or twice a year 'cause I don't have that much of money to buy every month and also I buy good sneakers every time I buy.

✓ I usually buy shoes once or twice a year because I don't have that much money to buy them every month, and I buy good sneakers when I do.

Singular/plural: 'that much of money' is incorrect; use 'that much money'. Also 'to buy every month' needs object 'them'. 'Every time I buy' is awkward; use 'when I do' to refer back to buying shoes. Ensure plural pronoun matches 'shoes'.

× Service will be a durable too.

✓ They will be durable too.

The word 'service' is incorrect here. Likely intended 'they' (the shoes) will be durable. 'Durable' is an adjective and should modify a plural noun, so use 'They will be durable too.'

× Yes, I do remember buying shoes online when I was at grade 12 and back then I bought basketball shoes online which was one of my favorite uh players version but it was not good quality so I broke my ankle.

✓ Yes, I remember buying shoes online when I was in grade 12. Back then I bought basketball shoes, a version of my favorite player's model, but they were not good quality and I injured my ankle.

Tense and phrasing: 'do remember' is acceptable but redundant; simple past 'remember' or 'I remember' fits. Use 'in grade 12' not 'at grade 12'. 'Which was one of my favorite uh players version' is ungrammatical; change to 'a version of my favorite player's model'. Match plural 'shoes' with plural verb 'were'. Use 'injured my ankle' instead of 'broke my ankle' unless medically sure; 'injured' is safer and grammatically clearer.

× Yeah, I, I, I, I really buy shoes in Nepal. Yeah, when I do, I spend around 10 to 15 K, but I usually asked my friends or families to get me from abroad and it will cost something around $100 to 200.

✓ I usually buy shoes in Nepal. When I do, I spend around 10,000 to 15,000 NPR, but I usually ask my friends or family to bring them from abroad and it costs around $100 to $200.

Tense and verb form: remove stuttering. Use present simple 'usually buy' and 'ask' (not 'asked') for habitual actions. 'Families' should be 'family' as an uncountable noun here or 'family members'. Specify currency abbreviation for clarity. Use 'bring' instead of 'get me from' and 'it costs' (present simple) for price facts.

× Which do you prefer, fashionable shoes or comfortable shoes? I I buy two types of shoes, for example for casual and whereas I buy fashionable shoes but for my training and other sports I buy comfortable shoes and high quality suits so that it will help to enhance my performance.

✓ I buy two types of shoes. For example, I buy fashionable shoes for casual wear, whereas for training and other sports I buy comfortable, high-quality shoes to help enhance my performance.

Pronoun and word choice: remove repeated 'I'. 'For example for casual and whereas I buy fashionable shoes' is confused; separate into clear clauses: 'fashionable shoes for casual wear' and 'comfortable, high-quality shoes for training'. 'Suits' is incorrect; use 'shoes'. Use plural agreement and hyphenate 'high-quality'. Use 'to help enhance' for purpose.