Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct grammar (e.g., 'I look for' not 'I looking for') and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences. Also replace informal phrases like 'once in a blue moon' with simpler natural expressions if unsure.

例: I don't buy shoes very often — maybe once every few years. If my shoes get worn out or look dated, I usually look for new ones online or wait for sales, because I prefer to get a good deal.

提案: Fix grammar and word choice ('online' as adverb, 'online platforms offer', 'more convenient' rather than 'more effective'). Combine brief points with linking words (e.g., 'because' and 'so') and give a specific example or brief reason to support your preference.

例: Yes, I often buy shoes online because online platforms offer more choices and better prices. For example, I can compare styles and read reviews before I buy, so I usually find a good pair without visiting a shop.

提案: Be precise and use correct phrasing ('between 2 and 4 million rupiah'). Provide one clear reason and a short example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect your ideas and stay concise.

例: I usually spend between 2 and 4 million rupiah on a pair of shoes, depending on their purpose. For example, I pay more for running shoes because they need better cushioning and support.

提案: Use natural comparative structure ('prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones') and correct word choice ('comfortable to wear' or 'practical'). Give a concise reason and an example, using a linking word like 'because' or 'so'.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones because I value practicality. For instance, I choose shoes with good support for walking long distances rather than high-fashion styles that are uncomfortable.

× Well frankly I don't like buying shoes.

✓ Well, frankly, I don't like buying shoes.

Missing commas for introductory adverbial phrase; not a grammatical tense error but improves clarity. Add commas around 'frankly' and after 'Well'. Use present simple 'don't like' is correct.

× It's like once in a blue moon.

✓ I buy them only once in a blue moon.

Original sentence uses 'It's like once in a blue moon' which is informal and unclear as an answer to 'How often?'. Change to a full clause 'I buy them only once in a blue moon' to match frequency expression and sentence structure.

× However, if my shoes are damaged or out of date I looking for a pair of shoes online or waiting for the sales.

✓ However, if my shoes are damaged or out of date, I look for a pair of shoes online or wait for sales.

Missing auxiliary/inflection for present simple: 'I looking' is ungrammatical; correct form is 'I look' or 'I will look' depending on intent. Also add comma after the conditional clause. Use parallel verbs 'look' and 'wait' in present simple to match habitual action.

× Yes, of course. I usually buy shoes via online.

✓ Yes, of course. I usually buy shoes online.

Incorrect prepositional phrase 'via online' — remove 'via' and use 'online' as adverb. Present simple 'usually buy' is correct.

× This is largely because the online platform offer more effective and not too pricey.

✓ This is largely because online platforms offer better value and are not too pricey.

Subject-verb agreement: 'platform offer' should be 'platforms offer' or 'the platform offers'. Also 'more effective' is inappropriate for shopping context; use 'better value' and include verb 'are' before 'not too pricey'. Pluralize 'platforms' to match 'offer'.

× Instead, the conventional store is much more expensive.

✓ In contrast, conventional stores are much more expensive.

Use parallel noun number and clearer contrast expression. 'The conventional store is' is awkward when speaking generally; use plural 'stores are'.

× Well, I usually spend approximately 2 and 4 million rupiah on a pair of shoes, but it depends on their purpose.

✓ Well, I usually spend approximately 2 to 4 million rupiah on a pair of shoes, but it depends on their purpose.

Use correct range connector '2 to 4 million' rather than '2 and 4 million'. 'On a pair of shoes' is fine; 'their purpose' is acceptable if referring to shoes, though 'the purpose' could be clearer.

× For example, running shoes or other athletic footwear is more likely to be expensive.

✓ For example, running shoes or other athletic footwear are more likely to be expensive.

Subject-verb agreement with plural subject 'running shoes or other athletic footwear' requires plural verb 'are'.

× Well, frankly, I prefer comfortable shoes rather than a fashionable one.

✓ Well, frankly, I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones.

Use correct comparison structure 'prefer A to B' and keep number agreement plural: 'fashionable ones' to match 'comfortable shoes'.

× This is mainly because the purpose that I choose the shoes is to be well used or convenient.

✓ This is mainly because I choose shoes for practicality and comfort.

Original sentence is awkward and ungrammatical. Simplify to 'I choose shoes for practicality and comfort' to clearly express purpose. Avoid literal translation 'to be well used' and 'convenient' as nouns; use adjectives 'practicality and comfort' or 'they are practical and comfortable'.