Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with grammar, word choice and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles (e.g., "they allow me" not "they are allow me"). Replace unclear parts like "A pairs" with a precise phrase ("a couple of pairs" or "two pairs"). Keep it concise (max 4–5 sentences) and add a brief supporting reason or example using linking words (e.g., "because" or "so").

例: Yes, I like buying shoes because they allow me to express my style and feel more confident. I usually buy new shoes about twice a year: two pairs for work and sports, and one fashionable pair for special events. I find that having different styles helps me dress appropriately for different occasions.

提案: Address vocabulary and tense mistakes, and keep expressions accurate. Use "bought" not "borrowed". Use singular/plural and article agreement ("they looked cheaper"). Provide a clear topic sentence then support it with a brief specific example using linking words (e.g., "for example" or "because").

例: No, I have never bought shoes online because I worry they might not fit and could look different from the photos. For example, a friend ordered a pair last month and when they arrived, they did not fit and they looked much cheaper than in the pictures.

提案: Clarify currency and correct word choices. Specify the currency (e.g., "dollars"), correct mixed-up words ("coffins" and "where while" are incorrect), and use coherent linking words ("while" or "whereas"). Keep sentences short and provide one clear comparison between everyday and formal shoes with reasons.

例: I usually spend around 200 to 400 dollars on a pair of shoes, depending on the brand and purpose. For everyday shoes I choose mid-range prices because they are durable and comfortable, whereas for formal shoes I may spend more to get better materials and a smarter appearance.

提案: Correct vocabulary and phrasing errors and make the answer concise. Use "long-term foot health" instead of "long term food" and "on my feet" not "on my foot". Avoid unclear words like "well sneakers" and "without pen". Give a direct topic sentence, a reason, and a specific example using a linking word such as "for example".

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I value long-term foot health and overall comfort, especially when I'm on my feet all day at work. For example, a pair of well-cushioned sneakers lets me stay active and walk long distances without pain.

× Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because they are allow me to express my style and improve confidence for daily activities.

✓ Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because they allow me to express my style and improve my confidence for daily activities.

The error is misuse of 'are allow' — 'allow' is a main verb and should not be used with 'are'. This is a modal/verb usage and subject-verb agreement issue; use 'allow' after the plural subject 'they'. Also add the possessive 'my' before 'confidence' for clarity.

× I usually buy new shoes about twice a year, choosing A pairs for work and sports and a fashionable pair for special events.

✓ I usually buy new shoes about twice a year, choosing a pair for work and sports and a fashionable pair for special events.

The phrase 'A pairs' is incorrect: 'A' should be lowercase 'a' and 'pairs' does not match context. Use 'a pair' (singular) when referring to one set of shoes. Ensure consistent article usage and number.

× No, I have not borrowed shoes online because I'm afraid that they would not fit me and the quality may be different from the picture.

✓ No, I have not bought shoes online because I'm afraid they might not fit me and the quality may be different from the picture.

'Borrowed' is incorrect given the context; use 'bought' for purchasing. 'Would not fit' is better expressed as 'might not fit' to match current/past possibility. This is a modal verb usage issue and wrong lexical choice.

× For example, a friend ordered a pair last month, but when they arrived they did not fit and the multiple look cheaper.

✓ For example, a friend ordered a pair last month, but when it arrived it did not fit and the materials looked cheaper.

Pronoun and verb agreement: 'a pair' is singular so use 'it arrived' and 'it did not fit'. 'The multiple look cheaper' is unclear and ungrammatical; likely intended 'the materials looked cheaper' (past tense 'looked' to match 'arrived'). This fixes subject-verb and vocabulary issues.

× I usually spend around 200 to 400 on a pair of shoes depending on brand and purpose.

✓ I usually spend around 200 to 400 dollars on a pair of shoes depending on the brand and purpose.

Missing currency unit 'dollars' (quantifier/measure clarification). Also add 'the' before 'brand' to be more natural. This clarifies the amount.

× For everyday shoes I choose for middle range prices for coffins where while for formal shoes I may spend a little bit more to ensure better materials.

✓ For everyday shoes I choose mid-range prices, while for formal shoes I may spend a little bit more to ensure better materials.

Several issues: unnecessary 'for' after 'choose'; 'middle range' should be 'mid-range'; 'for coffins where' is nonsensical and likely a typo — removed. 'While' should join clauses; fixed prepositions and word choice.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because I value long term food, health, and comfort, especially when I'm on my foot all day at work or walking around the city.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I value long-term foot health and comfort, especially when I'm on my feet all day at work or walking around the city.

'long term food' is incorrect — likely 'long-term foot' (compound adjective 'long-term') and 'foot health' is the correct noun phrase. 'On my foot' should be 'on my feet' (plural). This fixes adjective/adverb usage and idiomatic expressions.

× For example, a pair of well sneakers allows me to stay active without pen.

✓ For example, a pair of good sneakers allows me to stay active without pain.

'well sneakers' is incorrect order and word choice; use 'good sneakers' or 'well-made' depending on meaning. 'Pen' is a typo for 'pain'. Also 'a pair' is singular so 'allows' is correct. This fixes adjective order, word choice, and a typo.