Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は直接的だが、文法と語順の誤り、言い換えの不自然さ、冗長な繰り返しが見られます。発言は1〜2文で簡潔にまとめ、必要な情報（頻度・理由）を明確に述べてください。接続詞や時間表現（e.g. recently, often, usually）を使って論理的に繋げ、冠詞や複数形などの基本文法に注意しましょう。具体的な改善点： 1) 「a new one」「them」のような代名詞の一致を直す。2) 「therefore I can't them constantly」は意味が曖昧なので、「so I don't buy shoes often」と明確にする。3) 繰り返し（I'm I'm）は避ける。4) 最大5文に収め、トピック文→補足（頻度・理由）の構成にする。

例: I don't buy shoes very often. I’m not a big fan of collecting them, and I recently bought a new pair that was quite expensive, so I don’t shop for shoes frequently.

提案: 内容は伝わるが、表現が断片的で繰り返しや単語の誤用（vote→to try?）があり、明瞭さに欠けます。理由を一つか二つに絞り、接続語（because, so, therefore）でつなぎ、正確な語彙（try on / see how they look）を使ってください。例：オンラインでの試着不可やサイズの不安を明確に述べる。発音や流暢さのため繰り返しを減らす練習を。

例: No, I haven’t. I think buying shoes online is risky because you can’t try them on, and I prefer to see how they look and fit before I buy.

提案: 答えは具体性がやや不足しており、文法（is→are / That's why it is so comfortable→unclear cause-effect）が不正確です。普段の予算の目安（金額や頻度）を加え、比較と理由を論理的に繋げてください。接続語（however, but, because）で対比を示し、快適さの理由（material, brand, design）を具体的に述べると良いです。

例: I usually buy inexpensive shoes and spend around $20–$40. However, I recently bought a more expensive pair because it was made from high-quality materials, so it's very comfortable and I wear it all the time.

提案: 良いバランスの回答ですが、語彙（personal shoes は不自然）や文法の改善が必要です。趣旨は明確なので、場面ごとに具体例を1つずつ述べ、比較のために linking word（but / however / when）を活用してください。また、“I like both”の理由を短く付け加えると効果的です。

例: I prefer both depending on the situation. For example, when I hang out with friends I like to wear fashionable shoes to look stylish, but when I work at a clothing shop I choose comfortable shoes because I’m on my feet all day.

× Actually I recently bought new one which is a bit pricey for me therefore I can't them constantly.

✓ Actually I recently bought a new one which was a bit pricey for me, therefore I can't buy them constantly.

The sentence lacks the indefinite article 'a' before 'new one' and uses present tense 'is' while referring to a recent purchase (past). Also 'can't them constantly' omits the verb 'buy' and mixes singular/plural ('one' vs 'them'). Corrected to 'a new one' and 'was' to match past reference, and add the verb 'buy' and plural 'them' to express the intended meaning. Suggestion: Use articles with singular nouns ('a new one'), keep tense consistent (use past for recent completed actions), and include the main verb (buy) when referring to action on objects.

× No, I haven't because it is it.

✓ No, I haven't because it's risky.

The original contains a fragment 'it is it' which is incorrect and unclear. The student intended to say that buying online is risky. Use the contraction 'it's' and an adjective 'risky'. Also 'I haven't' should be followed by a past participle (I haven't bought) or rephrase as 'No, I haven't' plus reason: 'because it's risky'. Suggestion: Complete the clause after 'because' with a clear adjective or clause and ensure 'I haven't' is understood as 'I haven't bought' if necessary.

× It is risky and I want to I want to look the appearance when I vote shoes.

✓ It is risky and I want to see the appearance when I buy shoes.

The phrase 'look the appearance' is ungrammatical; use 'see the appearance' or 'see how they look'. 'Vote shoes' is incorrect—likely intended 'buy shoes'. Also repeated 'I want to' is redundant. Corrected to 'see the appearance when I buy shoes'. Suggestion: Use verbs collocating with nouns ('see how they look', 'buy shoes') and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× I tend to buy cheap shoes, whereas the shoes I recently bought is expensive compared with other shoes.

✓ I tend to buy cheap shoes, whereas the shoes I recently bought are expensive compared with other shoes.

The relative clause 'the shoes I recently bought' is plural, so the verb must be 'are' not 'is'. Ensure verb agrees with plural subject 'shoes'. Suggestion: Identify the subject number (singular/plural) and match the verb accordingly.

× That's why it is so comfortable that I can wear all the time.

✓ That's why they are so comfortable that I can wear them all the time.

The pronoun 'it' does not agree with plural 'shoes'; use 'they' or 'them'. Also 'wear all the time' needs object 'them'. Adjusted to 'they are so comfortable that I can wear them all the time.' Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and include objects when needed.

× I'll actually I like both.

✓ Actually, I like both.

The phrase begins with 'I'll' which is unnecessary and creates a fragment. Remove 'I'll' and use 'Actually, I like both.' Suggestion: Avoid unnecessary contractions that change meaning; keep sentence concise.

× When I hang out with my friend, I adore wearing personal shoes.

✓ When I hang out with my friends, I adore wearing fashionable shoes.

'My friend' suggests singular but likely plural; context unclear—changing to 'friends' fits 'hang out'. 'Personal shoes' is unnatural; likely meant 'fashionable shoes'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('hang out with my friends', 'fashionable shoes'). If singular friend intended, keep 'my friend'.

× However, when I work at clothes shop, I like to wear comfortable shoes.

✓ However, when I work at a clothes shop, I like to wear comfortable shoes.

Missing article 'a' before 'clothes shop'. Use 'at a clothes shop' or 'in a clothing shop'. Suggestion: Include appropriate articles before singular countable nouns; consider using 'clothing shop' for natural phrasing.