Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., use 'once a month', 'brands' not 'company shoes'). Avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually go shopping once a month to look for sports shoes, especially from brands like Adidas and Nike, because I find their designs and support suit my activities.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and use linking words to explain reasons. Fix tense and phrasing (e.g., 'once' or 'one time', 'didn't fit', 'poor quality'). Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: Yes, I bought shoes online once, but I had a bad experience. The size didn't fit and the quality was poor, so I prefer to buy shoes in stores where I can try them on.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and use specific, consistent currency and figures. Use linking words to compare types of shoes. Correct grammar (e.g., 'sports shoes', 'everyday shoes').

例: It depends on the type and brand. For example, sports shoes from well-known brands usually cost more than 50,000, whereas everyday shoes typically cost around 5,000.

提案: State your preference clearly, then give one or two concise reasons with linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'shows the standard of your yours'. Use natural collocations (e.g., 'comfort and convenience').

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they allow me to walk and stand for long periods without pain. Although fashionable shoes can look nicer, comfort and practicality come first for me.

× I really like buying shoes and during month and I go to the store and buy different company shoes like sports shoes of Adidas and Nike.

✓ I really like buying shoes and during the month I go to the store and buy shoes from different companies, like sports shoes from Adidas and Nike.

The original sentence has missing article 'the' before 'month' and awkward phrasing 'different company shoes' and 'sports shoes of Adidas'. Use 'the month' for a specific recurring period, 'from different companies' to indicate brands, and 'sports shoes from Adidas and Nike' for natural preposition and noun order. Suggestion: Include articles where needed and use 'from' to indicate brand origin; keep consistent plural nouns (shoes).

× Moreover I like buying sports shoes.

✓ Moreover, I like buying sports shoes.

This sentence only needs a comma after 'Moreover' to be more natural. Also it is otherwise grammatically correct; no article change is required. (Comma improves adverbial linking.)

× Yes, once a time I bought the shoes online but it is very uncomfortable for me because the size is not according to me and the quality is very cheap.

✓ Yes, one time I bought shoes online, but it was very uncomfortable for me because the size did not suit me and the quality was very poor.

Use 'one time' or 'once' rather than 'once a time'. Maintain past tense consistency: 'bought' requires past 'was' instead of 'is'. 'Size did not suit me' is natural English; 'quality was very poor' is better than 'very cheap' which describes price, not quality. Also remove the definite article 'the' before 'shoes' unless referring to specific shoes known to listener. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and choose verbs that collocate naturally (suit for size, poor for quality).

× So I don't want to buy like to buy Shaw online.

✓ So I don't want to buy shoes online again.

The original has repetition 'buy like to buy' and typo 'Shaw' for 'shoes'. Use 'again' to express reluctance after a bad experience. Maintain present tense 'don't want' to describe current preference. Suggestion: Avoid redundant phrases and correct typos; use concise phrasing to convey refusal or reluctance.'

× It depends on the brand choice and quality.

✓ It depends on the brand and the quality.

Use 'the' before both nouns for clarity when speaking generally about specific factors. 'Brand choice' is awkward; 'brand' alone suffices. Suggestion: Use definite articles when referring to specific factors under consideration and prefer simpler noun forms.

× If I buy a sport shoes it is quite expensive above 50,000 and the normal day-to-day life shoes are quite cheaper around 5000.

✓ If I buy sports shoes they are quite expensive, above 50,000, and the normal day-to-day shoes are much cheaper, around 5,000.

'A sport shoes' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'sports shoes' (plural) or 'a pair of sports shoes' (singular). Subject-verb agreement: plural 'shoes' takes 'they are'. Use 'much cheaper' rather than 'quite cheaper' and add commas for readability. Also use consistent number formatting. 'Day-to-day life shoes' is awkward; 'day-to-day shoes' or 'everyday shoes' is better. Suggestion: Match articles to singular/plural forms, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use natural collocations like 'a pair of' or 'sports shoes'.

× I always prefer comfortable shoes because fashionable shoes are not really comfortable and it shows the standard of your yours but it not give you comfort.

✓ I always prefer comfortable shoes because fashionable shoes are not really comfortable; they show your social status but do not give you comfort.

Replace 'it shows the standard of your yours' with 'they show your social status' to correct pronoun usage and wording. 'It not give you comfort' needs auxiliary and subject-verb agreement: 'do not give you comfort'. Use 'they' to refer back to 'fashionable shoes' (plural). Also 'social status' is a more natural expression than 'standard of your yours'. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and use proper auxiliary verbs in negative forms (do/does + not + base verb).

× So I always prefer my comfort and convenient first.

✓ So I always prefer comfort and convenience first.

Use nouns 'comfort' and 'convenience' rather than mixing noun and adjective 'convenient'. Do not use possessive 'my' before abstract nouns when speaking generally. The corrected sentence is more concise and grammatically correct. Suggestion: Use parallel noun forms when listing preferences and avoid unnecessary possessive pronouns for general statements.