Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be more natural and concise. Avoid phrases like "like tidy enough" and "and etcetera" which sound informal or vague. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide specific examples without redundancy.

例: Yes, there are several rules at my school, particularly regarding appearance. For instance, students must keep their hair neat and are not allowed to dye it. These rules help maintain a disciplined environment.

提案: Your response is relevant but could be clearer and more structured. Avoid filler words like "well" and "actually". Use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific about how rules help students. Also, correct phrases like "behave ourselves well" to "behave better" and "more focusing on in our study" to "focus more on our studies."

例: Yes, I believe more rules would benefit students because school is a place for learning and discipline. With clear rules, students can behave better and concentrate more effectively on their studies.

提案: Your answer needs clearer structure and more natural language. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like "moral first" and "career teacher." Instead, explain how the teacher helps with both English and career advice.

例: Yes, I have an English teacher who does her job very well. She teaches us using various methods that make learning English enjoyable. Moreover, she offers valuable career advice, which helps us plan our futures.

× Take example of our hair.

✓ Take the example of our hair.

The phrase 'take example of' is incorrect. The correct prepositional phrase is 'take the example of' to indicate using something as an example.

× So your haircut should be like tidy enough and also don't dye your hair and etcetera.

✓ So your haircut should be tidy enough, and also you shouldn't dye your hair, etc.

The phrase 'like tidy enough' is incorrect; 'like' is unnecessary here. Also, 'don't dye your hair and etcetera' is awkward; 'you shouldn't dye your hair' is clearer, and 'etc.' is sufficient without 'and'.

× Well, actually I think yes, because school is a place for us to learn and behave ourselves.

✓ Well, actually I think yes, because school is a place for us to learn and behave ourselves well.

The phrase 'behave ourselves' is correct, but it is more natural to add an adverb like 'well' to complete the meaning. However, 'behave ourselves' is acceptable; no reflexive pronoun error here, so this correction is stylistic rather than grammatical.

× So with those rules we can behave ourselves well and also like more focusing on in our study.

✓ So with those rules we can behave ourselves well and also focus more on our study.

The phrase 'like more focusing on in our study' is incorrect. 'Like' is unnecessary, and 'more focusing on in' is awkward. The correct form is 'focus more on'.

× Yes, see that I have That's my English teacher.

✓ Yes, I have one. That's my English teacher.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. It lacks proper sentence structure. Splitting into two sentences clarifies the meaning.

× She's really good at teaching us in different way to learn English, moral first.

✓ She's really good at teaching us in different ways to learn English, especially morals first.

The phrase 'in different way' should be plural 'in different ways'. Also, 'moral first' is unclear; 'especially morals first' clarifies the intended meaning.

× She's also a career teacher that she gave a lot of advice in how our career is.

✓ She's also a career teacher who gives a lot of advice about our careers.

The relative pronoun 'that' is incorrectly used for a person; 'who' is correct. Also, tense consistency requires 'gives' instead of 'gave'. The preposition 'in' is incorrect; 'about' is appropriate here.